All Comments on 'A Restless Night Without You Ch. 02'

A very well done romantic letter. BUT you very much need an editor. Please ask one of the editors listed on this sight to review your good stories or letters. I enjoyed your story till you injected some descriptive adjectives that did not fit into a romantic mind set at all.<P>.<P>Example; “Instead the harsh wind bashed me in the side like a taekwondo kick in the Olympic games. Maybe more like a football player taking out the quarterback after breaking the defense lines.” <P>.<P>Maybe a softer description would have worked as this description dropped me right out of a romantic mood into a what the heck are we doing now, war games. It just didn’t fit your story line like this other excerpt :<P>.<P> I was sidekicked in the face with the ice storm... again. Come on, you are telling a romantic tale and you interject with combat adjectives and verbs. Maybe something a little softer like this; “My face was instantly numbed with the icy wind of the storm” “My body was at once totally chilled by the icy wind of the storm”<P>.<P>Grammar also counts if it is used poorly as often as you have. Just one example from your story:”You and him went off to get drinks and after Trish reminded James of no alcohol we chatted about you,” also “In two months of time I'd been mentioned about quite a bit,”<P>

Ok, enough of the bashing as you wrote a very nice romantic piece that just needs an editor to point out a few flaws.<P>Thank you for the entertainment.<P>PT