All Comments on 'A Slave to the Servants Ch. 16'

This continues to be one of my favorite stories. "Maybe I'm a lesbian." Oh man...

i know you wont kill them off but you are killing my poor heart here!!! i love hannah but i love the men a lot more!!!

Hannah's tirade was like a voice of reason. It's true as a slave that Ciara has no rights and no formal relationship with the men or legal recourse if they tired of her and wanted to end their relationship. Whatever your opinion of marriage/domestic partnership, I think it'd be hard to argue with a straight face that the alternative gets the dependent party more support when the relationship ends. Hannah is mad as hell that her mother is a slave, clearly, and will probably end up doing something that shakes Pateria's status quo to the core. Hannah doesn't fairly place all the blame though: slavery only exists at all because of the women. Paterian women have total control and keep men subjugated (like slaves really), so slavery must exist with their blessing. Ciara didn't bring this up to Hannah but I'm sure the little girl won't fail to realize that truth. She hates the system of slavery that ensnared her own mother, and as a Paterian woman, there might be something she can actually do about it. I wonder though, if other human slaves have born female babies, haven't those babies felt the same way as Hannah? Is there a reason why we haven't heard anything about them? I'm looking forward to the next chapter! Thanks for doing regular updates. There's nothing worse than a good multi-chapter story that goes years without being finished (if ever)!

Have a feeling that Hannahs views on slavery will eventually have a big impact on this world. What a fabulous female she will be. Love her she is simply wonderful even when she is upset and acting out! Seriously who wouldn't have issues with the way her mother has been treated. As for the men, well, I don't think you will kill them off. GO HANNA!!!!!!!

LOL as always a great read, i never know just where you will take us next and i do love that...

I have paid good money for stories that were not as well written as yours you really should consider publishing this when u get to the end

I too have wondered how everyone (the women) can be so surprised by the birth and its consequences of a hybrid human/Pateian baby girl.

My thought is that human slaves have been harder to take because of the tightening of the natural defenses that DW spoke of. The women know about the possibility and have taken steps to prevent babies.

It is not so long ago that slavery was outlawed world wide so maybe they have been lucky and any babies were boys or the mothers came from a slave holding culture. Maybe they have never faced this situation before.

I agree Hannah will be a handfull for the women in future chapters.

I stay up late just to get your updates! My eyes are drawn from word to word, then I am left wanting more!!! Thank you for sharing your muse.

It's not just a little story. :P LOL!

I am in love with your writing. You have completely captured the toddler mentality. I couldn't help cracking up at Hannah's temper tantrums and thinking of my niece. Well, minus the talons. I'm thankful you won't be killing off the men for a good plot twist. I think all your dedicated fans would send some angry thoughts at you. Keep bringing us the awesome!

excellent chapter.....what's that expression.."out of the mouths of babes". she said everything ciara feels but couldn't say to her men. i hope this makes them truely understand ciara more. i know they themselves are servants but for some reason they don't seem to quite understand the effects of it.

one point hanna made has me curious tho, she mentioned that if the men tired of ciara would they dump her for someone else or just because they didn't want her anymore. human men do things like that, i wonder if the same mindset exists in paterian men.

also, hanna's dislay of anger showed me two of her characteristics....first that she has a sense of justice and the other is that she is definetly part human. she wants to protect her mother that is definetly not a paterian trait (at least it hasn't been displayed yet).

i'm so curious to see where this goes next, i think it's safe to say that our men will not be killed, but is there punishment in their future? and if so, i'm really curious to see how little miss hannah will react.

"You have the nicest breasts and you let me touch them, thank you," he said leaning down and nuzzling my clothed chest. "I'm glad we were family

i'm about to die and i say this????? funny DW, this was priceless!

OMFG one week to wait until the next chapter is too long! That said, thank you for showing your loyal fans mercy with your closing comment. Like an earlier "anonymous" fan wrote, I too have paid hard earned money for stories that were no nowhere near as great as yours in many aspects!!!

I didn't really think you'd kill the men off, but I still appreciate you reassuring us. Probably saves you quite a few hysterical emails as well.

I'm not sure what they all think the men will be killed for - angering Hannah. I'm worried about Hannah since she ran off in such a state. And I'm worried about her anger since she knows about the ore and the implant. But that'll teach Nu'reeh to share a secret with an toddler. I so want Hannah to come to love the men - play with them and the toys they bring. Oh - this story is always so wide-open! I wish I could just stay up and read it all. I go hunting for it every Wednesday - well, I start a little earlier just in case. :-)

let me say that this chapter had me laughing so hard i cried, then i was sobbing at all the anger that Hannah has towards the Men, Especially towards Damien and His brothers, though i understand why the Women want to keep this distance between the two but i have a feeling Hannah will be the one that will bridge them together as they should have been in the first place, but she has to let the anger go about Ciara being a slave, even though she didn't want to be one in the first place, she has accepted it and does truly love Her Men. i also know what Ciara is trying to teach Hannah about loving her men instead of using them like most of the Women seem to do. Well enough of my ramblings and just want to say keep up the excellent work hun.

Donna.

Holy cow! I never thought this could happen!

Loving you story soooo much!!!

one of the best stories i have ever read!!!

To appreciate the men for who they are. When will she be able to listen to her mother, and understand that she should not hate the men?

Love this story, whilst you might be surprised it is rated well, we are not, let's be honest a great story takes all aspects into account, it's not just about the sex, it's how you have been able to twist the tales, add new twists, and provide the sex aspect, that has kept this story fresh, and your avid readers waiting impatiently for the next chapter lol.

Well done, on an excellent tale my friend. DVDs, Simon

Excellent plot twist! My my my you tell a great story!

Just out of curiosity... How many chapters till the story's completion? Hurry up and write!

Please write faster...it is horrible waiting. I check back every day just looking for a new chapter. Sorry to be so impatient, but it is soooo good!

I'd say Nu was right about Hannah leaving the nest early! I take it that temper-tantrum is in line with a girl going threw hormones the first time! Awesome chapter! It would be interesting if Ciara could get an implant though, be able to talk with her daughter where ever she goes, though then Nu would know that Ciara had figured out what was being done to the men. I got a feeling Hannah will come forward just like when she kicked Christof wrist! Another week of waiting!

I know you write and submit these stories quickly but a week is going to be rather a long wait for the next instalment!

Absolutely loving your work. The talent and imagination you have is simply outstanding!

Keep up the fabulous work - can't wait for chapter 17!

Wonderful chapter as usual.Maybe the women became the way they are from the original slavers.It seems they developed their wings and talons as weapons to defend themselves against slavers. Then they turned the table on the slavers, and evolved to where they are now.Men as slaves. just a thought. I am so loving this story. congratulations DW

Excellent stuff once again! I really like the fact that Hannah's anger and accusations are justified: the men did do these things to Ciara (remember Rachel).

I know that things have changed for her and how she feels about her new family and her situation. The men have changed, but there are consequences for their past actions. Hannah knows exactly what happened to Ciara in the past - how much it hurt her, and lashes out over what could, in theory, still happen. She reacts with a child's desire to protect her mother, bringing several chickens home to roost!

Can’t wait to see what happens next!

To start off logicically the men didn't enslave her, the slavers did. The men didn't buy her, the women did. The men thought they had paid but not true. Question is where or what next.

Don't kill off Damian and his brothers please.

I love this story and it won't be the same without them.

God I luv this story, it's so original and different and I look forward to reading it every week. Another great chapter, I adore Hannah and can totally understand the bond between a mother and her child which would make her so defensive of her Ciara. Can't wait till chapter 17, im sure if will rock as the Dr get better and better with every tale she spins.

This line from Hannah, pretty much sums up every problem that I have had throughout the entire story with this arrangement. Like Ciara, I have more or less resigned myself to the status quo, but that's because I can't do anything to change it and neither can she. (Look at me talking like I'm in the story.) Hannah on the other hand feels like she can affect events and she's probably right, so she could never just resign herself to her mother's life. Once she gets older she may come to see that the brothers won't just discard her mother, but she's not wrong. Human (or in this case Paterian) nature is a changeable thing. People fall into and out of love. It could happen. Just because they don't think it will, doesn't preclude the possibility. It doesn't help that the brothers still don't really understand Ciara's feelings and point of view. It'll take time, but I do think that Hannah will see that the brothers are changed people from when they first got Ciara. And since that change was a gradual one, that they are unlikely to change back. I also believe that she'll come to see the injustice inherent in the entire system in place on this world. She's a child reacting to some very adult feelings and situations. I'm interested in seeing what she does when she gets older.

haha. I love Evan so much.. "I liked everything you taught us, except the vomiting. That was awful." I can't believe you made me laugh at such a sad moment. I am DYING to read next chapter! What will Hannah do to them and how will she and the brothers come together??????? Thank you for updating doctorwolf!!! You're the best!

Omg... I almost cried at the end. You literally have me checking every tuesday night until thursday morning to see when the next chapter has shown up. I love these books and can't wait until they find out who the father is ((personally I think it is Christof, even if she looks like Damien)) but I love the way you have wrapped us around the story.

omg i loved this chapter so much!!!!! you better keep writing!! lol

I defend my sleep against everything, but today I got up half an hour early just to read your story. And I am looking forward to the next week. Thank you!

I am so emotionally involved in this story! I love Hanna! Please please don't make me choose which man I love the best because I just can't! Thank you for making sure your fans don't worry about the lives of the men for the next week.

I hope this blended family will work out. Hannah is so strong willed I wonder if she will accept her men as family.

*****

Exceptional.

I loved Hannah's little rant. Excellent can't wait for the next chapter to be posted.

the only thing i think that is extraordinary is that damien and family are automatically thinking that they will be punished after hannah’s temper tantrum. 10% human & 90% paterian, something’s got to give.

wondering: why hasn’t ciara been put back on the contraceptive drink if shes not to get pregnant again? or is there a more permanent way?

still speculating if the portals from/to earth are defective? or is it female propaganda?

don’t you just hate evan for being so cheery in the morning!

thanks DW for another brrrill chapter ;0)

I can't decide if I like Hannah, I wanted her to be more understanding of her fathers too. Her temper is way to much, lol. It would freak me out if a baby acted like that. Thanks for commenting at the end that there is no intent to kill off the brothers, I love them.

i say Hannah is acting just like her father, Damien has a bad temper too, He goes from calm to a killing rage in a drop of a hat and understandably Hannah would inherited that too. But once she cools off i think she will step in to protect the Men, if not for her sake then her mothers. Because that is what the temper tantrum was about, not being able to protect her mother in the future. After all she is still a baby though she is halfway grown up. She doesn't know how to handle the anger and most likely hormones running through her system.

had to throw in my two cents in again..lol

Donna

I can not get enough of this story - It just keeps getting better & better, I honestly think this is the best story I have read on here. LOVE IT. I know you wont kill the brothers but my heart was breaking a little in the end.

Already hanging out for the next chapter.

That was good! I was wondering when her feelings of beeing stuck there would come out. It upsets me a little that her men didn't hear everything Hanna was saying. But it was a great story. I seriously don't know how I would feel if I had to say good-bye to my child after only spending a few months together. This has to be hard for her. I swear I felt her pain when she started to cry about her daughter leaving soon. Good work!

Thank you so freaking much for putting that little teaser on the end because I had a little tear running down my face and a big nasty lump in my throat because you are the one that controls their fate! So it was relieving to me (now I don't have to worry and check for your update every single hour of every day, but I most likely still will anyway as it's the best story i've read on Literotica). Thanks DW!

I can wait for instalments this good - please publish so I can pay for my pleasure

I still had big tears running down my face!

Poor little girl with grown-up emotions. I actually feel sorrier for her than anyone else in this chapter.

:)

Thank you soooo much for that FYI... I was about to freak out, I thought the story was over. ugh I hope you post soon. poor little Hannah, growing up too fast, hopefully Ciara will get through to her.

OMG, YOU NEED TO FINISH THISN AND PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY. CAN NOT STOP CRYING.

I love this story!

how?!?! don't stop writing pls! hope you have another story lined up after "a slave to the servants"....

I'm interested to see how you wrap this up. I think I know what I'd do, but it's a long shot. I really do look forward to your submissions. I'm always so busy during the week, but once Friday comes, I'm searching for the newest chapter. Thanks so much for writing it!

When I first started reading your novel (yes, I called it a novel), I wasn't sure I liked Ciara/Rachel. Your character development has been excellent. Damien, Bane, Kein, Cristoff, Evan, Ciara and little Hannah are fully developed characters who I've grow to care about as I read each chapter. This story of the all the stories on this site is the one I constantly look for on Tues (yes, I admit I start early) or Wednesday. Thank you so much for such an enjoyable read and some inspiration as I start on my own writing projects. :)

I love Hannah. Her sentiments on her mother Rachel’s enslavement are clear, true, and more than justified. Rachel has been brutalized to the point she no longer remembers her true, free, self; her daughter does. I eagerly await discovering if Hannah shall become Pateria’s Pallas Athena or Furies made flesh.

I hope this story continues through many many more chapters and, as others have said, your imaginative writing is something well worth paying for.

okay so I know they aren't going to die but still I feel aweful for them. I just don't understand why they should be punished? I mean they didn't touch her, she touched them... stupid Hannah

Glad you put the fyi, would have been wondering where the story would turn and how Hannah would react to her mother going to different men.

Very interesting, seeing the comments of others who seem to really enjoy your story yet abhor the 'slave.' I wonder if you will end up bringing a few of those 'Nillas over to the 'Dark side- We got cookies!

Love your work, looking forward to the next chapter.

With the lack of 'fangs' along with teeth currently, will this be a fault because of the human side of Hannah or will it just make her even more dangerous when the teeth -n- fangs come in?

didn't quite get the men on the last page, are they going to the women with "The little one wants our heads"? hahaha

Hopefully it will make Hannah see reason when mom gets upset by the loss of her men... temporarily, she will need protection against other men, anyway. And then if she's not a slave to them she'll be a slave to worse men. Now that might make Hannah really upset, lol.

Then again it's not like the men aren't slaves to the women, and who made them slaves?

Oh noes, me is rambling again. And I don't even want to predict where this is going. But it's so boring to just shout "awesome story" after every chapter.

I thank you much for taming down the mind control thingy ;)

And in a neat way, too. Feeling much better now. Awesome story!

The comments here really add to your story - there are a great bunch of people adding their perspective and insights along with it. Personally I really like the way you developed Nu - reeh's character. It seems she wants Hannah to be strong, but not bratty. If she hears the truth of the incident, she'll probably be pleased by Hannah's emotions regarding women being slaves; yet being personally responsible for her mother's situation will likely temper retribution. I suspect she's going to be really pissed off that they ran tho.

Lame :/ on re-reading your story today, apparently I changed the chapter ending in my brain while commenting. Anyway, Ne - reeh WOULD be really upset if they ran but it seems to be against her character to punish them terminally for Hannah's actions.

I cried a little! I was so proud of Hannah but so upset about the guys! Can't wait til the next chapter!

please keep writing it!

I love your story absolutely addicted to it - love the brothers please please please (I'm begging here) keep them alive - Hannah's great I love how you have her wanting to protect ciara - saddened how she's lashing out at the brothers though but I can see why... I am anxiously waiting next chapter

I have to vote to keep the brothers. You are delving into a complicated bag of emotions and situations but it seems that this society you have created deals in many absolutes, that being the case Hannah touched the brother not the other way around. Please I add my voice to those begging for something other than the brother's deaths and punishment.

I'm sure many of you wonder why the men will be killed if they even touch Hannah.

My personal opinion is that-- girls never live with the men. Almost all men have never seen a baby girl close up, maybe an older one flying in the distance. Many men don't like the women much. Some of those men might want to hurt a woman and might see Hannah as a helpless target.

Therefore the absolute rule-- touch her and die.

CH17 should post on Wed. as usual.

This is a great story. Don't kill off your main characters. The story would suffer.

Poor Hannah. It's hard to be conflicted and to have such a sense of responsibility, especially as a baby. And there is nothing Ciara can do to stop it because Hannah has seen everything she has seen and felt everything that she has felt. I know they will work it out somehow.

Love this story so much. I was away for a while and was so excited to see 3 chapters when I returned. Love them all and I can't wait for the next!

I absolutely love your story. I swear I would buy this sequel if it were in stores. I'm looking forward to reading your next instalment.

I can't wait for the next chapter.

Amazing!! As always. I can't wait! Great job DW and Steve!

Great story line, very engaging, and thought provoking.

Wow! Great writing and a vivid imagination, found the series over the weekend and am anxiously awaiting the next chapter <biting nails> Thanks for the great story!

Where's the sex?!?

You are very prompt with your next chapters, I love this story so much! I've been checking every day, you just made my night. Thank you so much!

crap where is this going now. i can't see her killing off her favorite men, maybe she could have a serious talk with hannah instead.

Ciara can't go to someone else...Hannah has to understand Ciara's feelings too. Maybe somehow Ciara can bond w/ Hannah and the men again. Somehow...it's gotta work. I like this story too much. But it is funny how it is a lot like the male/female roles on Earth in the past and a today...just it's the men that rule here instead of the women. Men use the women for sex and discard them on Earth and the women do the same to men in the story. Maybe that another part of why the hate in Hannah is so strong...memories from Earth, plus her mother's situation, plus her genetic instincts, plus being taught by the 'women' equals real hate for men. This my favorite story.

This story is really good. It wasn't time for erotica for Ciara. The baby is still a baby...doesn't even have any teeth yet so it certainly isn't time for her. Ciara really just had the baby...has a whole two weeks or even a month even passed yet? Her body has to heal before taking five men. This allows the anticipation of that part of their relationship build. Keep going like you are going with the story...it's good. Really good.

Dont have therm killed off, the story wont flow the same without them. The youngling will just need to learn.

poor hannah needs to bond with her mother and father

please update soon! I've loved this story from the beginning!

DW submitted CH17 on Sun. AM. Therefore normally it would have posted for you to read at 12:01 AM this morning. It didn't. This is Lit's fault. We hope to see it soon, just like you.

the relationship between Ciara and Hannah is incredibly well done, especially the dynamic formed by the shared past experience.

Today is my bday and i was def looking forward to some Damien:( but owell... Sorry the site is being dumb! Xoxo

Sorry if that remark seems snarky; please believe that is not my intention. While reading this chapter, I couldn't help but compare it with Jean Auel's (first) book. I like how you're showing how alien the world and its people are with the subtle comparisons and contrasts with what is human. Few writers are able to do this well, and you've done a marvelous job here.

I love this! I started reading it this weekend and haven't been able to stop. Please don't stop writing!

okay this chapter i Cried! i know as a mom it is my worst fear that my son will grow up too soon, and i really got connected. I also know that it would kill me that my son would ever hate his dad so yeah i really cried there. I know being a "slave" is bad but they really are all slaves... but all i know is im addicted to this and i cant stop reading.

I Loved it!

Yes, I do notice the blips, and in other stories they aggravate me.

Here, I am carried along by the narrative, the characterisation and, an extraordinary imagination made real - so I can only admire. I also know that you are a true 'amateur'.

Thank you for providing a most stimulating alternative to Christmas tv. I intend to get up to date by Jan 1st.

PS like a previous comment - the sex is secondary!!

'Yes, we're working on not putting in the incorrect, yet correctly spelled, word. We both understand how frustrating that can be to read.'

'All commentary is welcome whether you liked it or hated it.'

Don't worry! just keep writing. x

This chapter showed your talent for comedic writing at its best! The reaction of the Brothers to baby Hannah and her actions is just too precious for words. I was touched too by her relationship with Ciera/Rachael and believe that I have learned something about being a mother from this chapter. .

I have said it before, many others have said it as well, you NEED to get this published in a mainstream forum.

I am loving this story, and I really like how you comfort your not so avid readers at the end by foreshadowing what will probably be some sort of "happy"ending.

Love the story. Don't care if it has sex or not.

I agree, I don't care if it doesn't have sex in it. It's a great story without it. I might even be bored of the sex lol

This story is amazing!!! Really, doesn't matter bout the sex anymore! I found this chapter HILARIOUS with Hannah and the brothers, and all the betting going on! Made me laugh out loud!! Great writing, love love love this story

You know for all my pervyness, I didn't know I was a S&M chick, but I read all the chapters over and over. Love it. Cry a lot, but love it.

78 yowm straight. Dw you are building this story up and forward beautifully. I am fearful of the ending, as I am a romantic and want happy endings, however I am trusting you and looking forward to the second half.

I don't want them to die. You draw me in and won't let go. I have to read the next chapter.

Ok I had just warmed up to Hannah (in the previous chapter all her screeching was a little annoying to me, I'm not a patient person ;)) and then she goes and does this? I know her feelings come from Ciara's deep pain but still! Ugh, If it weren't for your little note at the end of the chapter...

You really left us a cliff-hanger here :) You are a fantastic writer. I love your story and the way you tell it.

P.S: Go over the text, sometimes you mix up the use of these two words:

Breathe: verb

Breath: noun

So, 'when you need to breathe you take a breath.'

check out: http://www.grammar-monster.com/easily_confused/breathe_breath.htm

I'm not sure that it's necessary to italicize the english words unless they're in dialogue. When they're italic in the narration it distracts me. Great story though.

This little girl is too much for me at times, I understand her fight for her mother and the hatred she has for the men....but she even try to see the love they show her or is the pain inside of Ciara that unbearable that it muffles everthing else... Her hatred needs to be redirected to those who she her mother and father ill will. Great story still loving it as always... PS the little brother comment at the end was not need...fyi.

Am I the only one who thinks that maybe Ciara is carrying maybe two or more children inside her? Probably would be two (But I still am not sure) If the people around her think she is carrying the rarest and unseen type of woman... isn't it possible that she may not be? Eh, the way this story goes it probably is... I wonder what will happen if it is what they think it is... would Ne-reeh take her back to the compound to be a breeding slave again? Ugh, this is torture NOT KNOWING!!! But I can wait... I wish you and your babe good health and many happy years together :)

First off, the story is so damn awesome that I didnt really mind there was no erotic in this chapter. Next, you said she hasnt grown teeth yet? Then why is her speech perfect? i dont know, im afraid i dont quite understand that part...