All Comments on 'A Walk in the Park'

Well done ... * smiles *

Reminds me very much of a private discussion with my man lol

A nice straight to the point story .... bravo

jessie_girl

Excellent sense of eroticism and building the story. You are a natural storyteller - can't wait to see how you will improve the more you write....and I'm not talking about the sex level, but that rare gift of being able to tantalize. terrific.

An excellent first outing that leaves me wanting to read more.

I guess the ice cream vendor probably got an earful, what with all that moaning and screaming and profanity.

The writing is decent, the story so-so.

...as someone else already pointed out: all this in a park with a vendor nearby? Plus, writing in first person (you, I) sometimes tends to distract from a story if the reader cannot accurately place his or herself in the action of the piece. You have a nice sense of erotica and the sex scene itself was well done. Simply reconsider the setting somewhat in the future.

Hey! I absolutely loved your story, it got me really hot! CANNOT WAIT to read another.

Keep up the great work!

Marcia

Great job! I loved it! Your vivid descriptions are sure to excite! Wonderful job!

That was shit hot!!

Nothing better than a popsicle on a warm summer night & doesn't it feel good.

Keep up the good work can't wait to read more of your stories/advantages.

Hi

I loved your story - you didn't just write about the sex like most do but so many other things that really made it vivid. Is that really your first attempt? Anyhow, I enjoyed it a lot and hope to read more from you. Do you visit the chat site here? If so, look out for me (WarmGlow). What you have is rare, true sensuality, it's very sexy. Hope to talk to you maybe or just see another story soon.

Jack (TheUrchinPrince@hotmail.com)