All Comments on 'A Woman in Hardware Ch. 13'

I enjoyed this long awaited development in your story. The suspense leading up to this has been good -- I was hoping for a somewhat more intriguing story though -- it seemed somehow a letdown without some attention to what is happening for Chris before he arrives home.

I was disappointed with the extreme wordiness. The flowery effusive and superlative adjectives took away from my enjoyment of the story. I found the juxtaposition of the $64 words with improper spellings and typos and dropped words or grammatical errors irritating and comical at the same time. There was a previous episode that suffered with this kind of writing. I much prefer a good story with simpler language than one with the fanciest wording.

The excruciating detail of the sexual encounters sometimes gets to be predictable and boring for me. Maybe others really get off on that ... I find that after a while I start skimming and skipping when it is like that.

Spending some serious time with someone willing to serve as an editor could help focus your writing to make it really excellent as a fun arousing read. Sometimes this process can be uncomfortable, but my writing usually needs plenty of help after I think I'm done with it. It's a rare writer who doesn't benefit from the guidance of an editor.

Other segments of this story have been much more fun to read because the focus was on the story -- with plenty of interesting and fun developments of character/plot. It's almost like someone different was writing/editing some of those parts of the story.

Keep up the good work!

I read the story, 11 parts I believe, and at one point I had the distinct feeling more than one person was writing... Not a bad thing I suppose.