All Comments on 'Afternoon Delight'

It was a good read, but you really must use proper punctuation. It was almost like getting aroused and then having to stop in the middle, and start over every time there was a run-on sentence or if a comma was left out. Bummer. But the story made sense, and was very believable. I think you should continue to write, but really proofread for punctuation going forward.

... the dreadful punctuation made it difficult to work out what the h*ll you were intending to say!!

Get yourself an Editor to guide and advise you.