Allison, The Pumping Machine

Allison, the world champion

South France, a TV set is improvised outdoors on a large balcony hanging over the sea. Bruce Stanton, the conductor of Bizarre Sports sits in front of a table with an eye-catching grown woman dressed in ragging jeans and a red bikini top made of narrow strings. The salty breeze coils around her torso and occasionally shapes her shoulder-long blonde mane. Most of the sun warmth is gone but the slender, bare-chested woman seems at ease with her skimpy outfit, and refuses a sweater while Bruce unrolls the sleeves of his shirt. A man with headphones raises his arm and the red-light on the camera shines on.

-We talk today to a happy woman. Last week in Sapporo, Japan, this charming Canadian with French roots... or should I say her hands, have been crowned world champions.'

A fresh, spontaneous laugh bends the fragile waist of Allison over, uncovering two lines of powerful, healthy teeth. Even stirred by the fit of hilarity, her moves are elegant and measured. The kind of person you'd like to have on your side when trouble comes. A master of minds, comfortable in her gorgeous body.

-Yeah, you're right Bruce, they are the champions.

She mocked pulling up her hands and taking the chance to pin a thread of her golden mane off her face. The camera catches a glimpse of 'the champions' but their owner pulls them quickly out of sight, stuck between her thighs.

-Actually they don't always fully obey me, sometimes take their own decisions. This very same morning they woke me up so tenderly...

Bruce tilts over her and grabs the back of her arm.

-Please, Ally, don't tell me more. So, world champion now. Is it a natural talent? I was told you train hard.

-Well, you have to. There are two trends in this sport. The Asians follow a more, say, scientific approach. They take lectures on male anatomy, psychology and neurology. In some clubs they also train with latex gadgets and pump iron for finger strength. The rest of the world tends to follow a more casual approach, with priority on intuition and practice. You need to practice a lot with the real thing. There are no two males equal. The move that creams one guy in ten seconds, another can take it ten minutes. I read their pupils. Closing your eyes is not allowed. Their eyes tell you all.

-You said they can't shut their eyes, but most of our audience is not familiar with this uprising sport. Could you explain the basics for us? It'll be a privilege from the reigning champion.

-Very pleased. The basics are pretty simple; I think that explains its huge recent success. However there is a constellation of different modalities spread around the world, and the international federation, the FISTRA, is currently struggling to put out some common rules. The Sapporo championship was a big step forwards.

-You competed in a modality called timed event. What is it about?

-In fact I competed in both modalities, one-on-one, and timed events. One-on-one works like a tennis tournament. You compete against another contestant in a match, and the match is won when you get two guys ahead. In the finals there is no time limit, but in the qualification series there is a maximum of ninety minutes and then there is a tiebreak where an edge of a single guy is enough.

Now, as she explains herself, the price winners unclasp, wave, and clasp again. Nimble, neat, perhaps slightly too powerful for the rest of her frame. But definitely deliciously feminine hands.

-In the timed events you compete against the clock. It is similar to athletics racing, but rather than distances you have number of guys. There is the sprint event, with three, the medium range, with 8, and the marathon, with 25.

-And you won...

-Actually I won the three of them -confessed Allison, fluttering her eyelids two times- but in the one-on-one I lost in semi-finals.

-Yes, against the local idol. But the choice of guys was seriously questioned. Tell us about that match against Wan Doo.

-Well, the organization was accused of favouring the local athletes in the composition of the receiver squads. I think it's unfair. The Japanese made a great job with the organization, and there is as much room for chance as in any other sport. I congratulated Wan Doo after our match because I think she did great. She's a big champion and you need to make your very best to beat her. I was a little tired after the timed events, but that's not excuse.

-OK Ally, now that we know a bit on your sport we can talk about you, is that all right?

The camera zoomed on the woman that received the warm Mediterranean breeze in tight jeans and a minuscule dark-red bikini top unable to reveal any weakness in her supple anatomy.

-There must be a mistake in my papers- he said pounding a notebook on the table- it says you are 38 years old?

-I-Am, Bruce- she recognised grabbing her elbows.

The lean toned arms squared a perfect frame for a couple of breasts that could beat a teenager in a wet-shirt contest.

-How did you start at this?

-I came very late to this sport. My former husband got me into it but he wanted to restrain it to the close circle of our friends. By that time Tina Jo had her challenge on at the Fast Fist. She defended her title every Friday evening and had gone undefeated for at least six months. From our parties I knew I was good and wanted to test my skills against Tina, who was arguably the number one in the country.

-The tape of your first match against Tina is an all time best seller. How do you recall that event?

-It was my first public performance. I was painfully nervous, and Tina was very intimidating with her leather bracelets and muscle-ripped arms. She called me upstage to discuss the rules in front of the audience, pinning me with her huge metal-green eyes. I had studied her and knew part of her success was undermining your self-confidence with some of her foreplay specials. She used to perform single-handed pull ups or long hand stands taking advantage of her fitness background, so...

-So you did something she couldn't expect which drove her mad.

-Exactly- admitted Allison with a grin that lifted her cheeks.

-You challenged her to arm-wrestle!

-I did. I'm small but pretty tough and my husband had instructed me. The coup was successful. All of a sudden her fierce look was shadowed and her aura was gone. We took a couple of faulty starts and she lost her temper and called the receivers to come. There was an army of them. We decided to divide the receivers into two lines of initially the same number, and let each guy to switch to the opposite line after being done. That way we made sure that we pumped exactly the same guys, one half me-first, the other half the other way. For about one hour the pace at which I sent guys to Tina's queue was balanced with hers, but I noticed she was growing more and more strained and put her under pressure. My feelings were incredible and I infected the guys with them.

-Tina was battling against them, I conquered them to my side... fffeeew, it still takes my breath when I recall that night. I walked into the Fast Fist being a perfectly unknown housewife from Vancouver and came out as Allison the pumping machine who had outplayed almighty Tina Jo at her own game. I lost my marriage but won a second life-span.

-Actually you destroyed Tina, she sold the Fast Fist and retired.

-Not exactly. Two months later we had a rematch under different rules at a quite obscure club in Boston. She argued after one hour the guys at FF were too loose and that gave advantage to my skill over her power. She wasn't dumb. So we contested using fresh guys only, with a 90 min time limit, just to avoid running short of them. At 30 sec to time we were 22 all. I saw Tina's back muscles all rippled, she was using both hands. With the soft tip of my fore finger I pinned mine by its neck against his own muscular belly and played full scale vibrato. The poor guy burst out as an atomic bomb. After that second defeat Tina Jo did retire.

-After Tina you enchained your feats till becoming world champion in Sapporo. Is this a breaking point? What are your plans for the future? I heard you'll turn professional next year.

-I received an offer from a club based at Rio de Janeiro. They have a very competitive league down there, and many clubs are drafting international stars. I enjoy Vancouver, but I think I reached the top and I need new challenges. Most American pro-women pump for Brazilian clubs, and they are starting to recruit Asian girls also.

-You always talk about woman, is this an all-female sport? And if it is so, what about woman on woman?

-We're very open-minded at FISTRA and male pumpers are allowed, and they do register occasionally in the tournaments, although I have to say that their performance is not always top class. I guess most receivers are more inspired by female pumpers. Girls pumping girls, that is an entirely different business. I am aware of a few organized contests, but they do not belong to FISTRA.

-Did you ever take part in those contests?

-I felt curious enough a couple of times, and found out I was not particularly good at that. I think I lack motivation to work a girl really hard. And those are not porno divas moaning before they even got touched. You got to really get involved to make them lose control.

-Finally a personal question Allison, you told us you had divorced. Are you engaged now?

-I'm afraid I am, Bruce.

-Dam! So tell me something, what does he think of your skills?

-Oh! He never allows me to use my hands!'