All Comments on 'An Ad For Seduction'

Good story.

Interesting presentation.

Thank you.

brilliant story i love puttting in the word that wasn't spoken .

unlike other stories i read now i want more parts of this very erotic story . brilliant the story as was the writing do keep them cumming . an ad for seduction

Thank your for the comments. I have decided to continue on with this story. Hopefully it will be approved when I summit it. :)

I will say that the "jury is still out" on whether I like it or not - the main issue of needing to find out who the anonymous person is. However - this may be P E R F E C T to continue. This is just me. The premise, the rising action, the suspense - very good. Do try to proofread. There was some pronoun ambiguity and prenoun error. I was able to figure it out. But - PrettyGirl - I liked it a lot - and I think you have a talent for storytelling. My name is Melissa - I write under MarriedMelissa. Keep up the stories.

I liked that. It was a bit unusual but not too far off real experiences I have had. Sex is always somewhat risky in spite of what people like to assume. Risky for the psyche, risky for the body sometimes, potentially risky for the wallet too! Might as well have the fun along with the potential for cost. Might as well... ...go for the best fun you can have.

...but lacks detailed description or connectivity between the characters to enhance the bare plot. Consider how both parties or just one of them might feel and respond to each moment rather than rushing on past the denouement - which you may have leapt over in the course of your concluding justification paragraph. Do keep writing - you do have basic story telling good craft. Sweet O.

This is a really good start and I agree with the other comments that the building suspense is great. I think there was a little awkwardness but it fit the story very well and matched the emotions the characters were going through. The biggest thing is that the Anonymous role is unresolved and we want to know more about that relationship. I would also say that when it finally got to the romantic part between them it seemed like you skipped right over the passion of it all which took a lot away from the climax of the story. I will be interested to see how this develops in your next installment.