All Comments on 'Animal Lover Ch. 08'

i very much enjoyed this chapter and the whole story so far and can not wait for the next chapter i hope that those two can work things out . and i can not wait till Emmet rips Thomas a new arse

I still think this is a great first attempt at being an author. Your story is very original and one I look forward to reading with each new chapter. This chapter however was alittle hard to follow for me. You really jumped back and forth between who was saying and doing what, without any warning. Several times I had to stop and reread a sentence to see which character was involved. You also mentioned alot of different characters without giving reference as to who they are or how they relate to the pack. Having said all of this, I still put this story in my Fav and after much deliberation I gave it a 5 star rather than 4. I honestly look forward to chapter 9.

a little chaotic but felt like it should be ~ its her first time in with pack and she doesnt understand anything. Im really looking forward to the next chapter. = )

This story gets better and better with each chapter. I can hardly wait for the next chapter. Sometimes it's just hard to follow the changes in viewpoint, since there's no clear separation in the text.

Keep up the good work!

the only problem i have is when u switch between parts they kinda run together its kinda confusing but other then that keep them coming

I'm enjoying the story. I like the new characters and also want to know what he gave up. He doesn't seem to be trying to fight for her which surprises me. I hope they both stop being stubborn soon.

Why on earth did you leave it there!!! I am so pissed at her treatment of Em then she goes and kisses that ******* how could you go and leave it there and goodness only knows how long you are going to make us wait for the next chapter. I am beginning to wish I never started reading this story that way I wouldn't have gotten addicted!!!!Post soon please I don't think I could take another story on this site that takes weeks,months sometimes years to post a new chapter, this one might be the straw that broke the camels back as my stress level is on the rise.

They are not very good Alphas she has been in the den for less then two days and yet they allow a mere omega to touch her and wasn't Stephanie supposed to stop unattached males for getting to her? Why didn't they just issued a command that she in under their protection and no male is to touch her until such time as they deem she has fully become aquainted with the way of the pack. Since it is their fault she is not already mated to Emmett you would think they would protect her from the horny males until she and Em sort thing out.

i think em is just trying to give her space being that the last two times she snapped at him in such a way. the thing with the alphas could be just oversight, as humans being in the den is not a usual thing, and i think she , consciously , is attempting to goad em in to an action that reinforces her perception but on the sub conscious level wants him to stake the claim

If that is her reason for making out with Thomas then it is a cruel one! Then to compare the loss of a job and a house to having the love of her life is pretty shallow. All Emmett has ever done is protect her and love her and this is what he gets in return! A wolf mates for life right! He has been waiting a long time to finally find his mate his wolf would not want anyone else so wouldn't his wolf loose the will to live!

I can't believe this chapter has make me so pissed and depressed please post the next chapter NOW.

This is pretty different from the usual werewolf stories, and I appreciate that. I do have a few technical requests...

Please add space breaks (****************) between scenes. I was confused about what was happening, at times, because the story jumped from scene to scene without notice.

Identify the speaker as he/she speaks. Dialogue seemed to appear with no one to claim it. This wouldn't be so bad if the conversations were always limited to two people, but a lot of the den scenes included three or more.

< i > Italicize < /i > thoughts and telepathic communication. The brackets [ ] were quite distracting, and seemed to break the flow of the story...

Be careful with the verb-tense. The majority of the first page is written in the present tense, i.e. Ariel turns, Stephanie walks, Lyssa stops, Joanna looks, etc. That is already strange, though it can be done. Then, it changed to past tense when Emmett went to Lyssa's house, and it continued to switch back and forth between tenses fairly regularly until the end. This is not something a lot of people notice or care about, but it is something a writer should care about. Your story is very good so far--I'm certainly enjoying it--and I want it to continue. I believe in constructive criticism, and simply want you to get better at what you're doing. I would recommend an editor to help you work on these things and keep the stories flowing smoothly. Keep up the good work!

STOP USING PRESENT TENSE

jumped all over the place. It was very difficult to read. The use of present tense was also annoying and the chapter could use a lot of editing. Also, Lyssa was being an absolute idiot. Not a trace of rational woman to be found. Didn't like this chapter much.

I really like the story, and I wish the chapters were longer because it is really good. The previous commenter was right though, you may want to use dashes or asterisks in between paragraphs that go from one character's perspective to another.

Keep up the good work.

love this story. I agree there needs to be more division between chapters. Some people don't like what Lyssa's doing or hows shes acting - thats reasonable. But she's angry, as anyone would be when most of their life choices get taken from them and she wants to hurt the people she blames.

absolutley love your story... every chapter has me begging and waiting for more.. would be a great published story i hope this story goes on for a long time

not fair u cant just leave it there :( cant wait to read the next one

More please more this story rocks

I understand, as an editor, the wishes of strict grammarians, but your constantly shifting points of view are the beauty of this work, in my opinion. It yields an impression of what it would be like to live in a pack, what it IS like to live in a fairly boisterous family.

It hearkens back to Austen's perfecting of the novel form in English by transitioning from epistolary writing to theater on paper, with the dialogues both internal and external telling the story.

Can't wait to read the next chapter of Animal Lover, and I greatly enjoyed your short story. I don't favorite just anyone. :)

I need my next fix. I just love your story.

really love this story. ill be checking back for the next chapter

I'm hooooooked :)

Least favorite. This makes Lyssa seem like a slut.