by scojo14
one page stories are really difficult to write. i was hoping for you to be more descriptive about the whole journey, instead of we got naked, he put on a condom, he fucked me, he came. don't get me wrong, it's a fantastic outline and potential to be a great story. put more mental visualizations, more oomph, more feeling into it and voila... you have a great story!!! keep writing!
Wow Impressive Somehow sloppys forteenths does not sound very appealing Sorry Tom wait till next time
This tale is escalating to 'fantastic' (no, not the 'great' definition, the 'hard-to-believe' one). However, I find the dialogue credible and the writing adequate, so I'm willing to count this as a good 'stroke saga' and give it 3-4stars...Hell 4* (but don't expect me to continue to be that easy unless something interesting is forthcoming.)