All Comments on 'Attacked Ch. 03'

Is it because they're mates that she's all horned up around him? lol she didn't seem like the type to jump into bed with a guy. Give more details if you can....slip in things maybe like Julie saying she's his younger or older sister and maybe you could have told us more about her sister and what she did for her since you said it played a role in her becoming who she is. I think longer chapters would still be good. I love how you brought out the sister's personality. I still feel like I can't get any grasp on who Angel really is. I really like the story and look forward to more.

Like what your doing, but like the other comment you are leaving a lot to our own imagination to fill in the gaps your leaving.

I am loving this story but you need to make the chapters longer. I can hardly wait for the next installment!

You have left me again with questions, which normally would be good. However I feel there are almost to many questions. I personally think if you made the chapters longer and gave us more info per chapter you might get a better response and maybe better star ratings.

Now having said all the bad stuff first, here goes the rest of my comment.

You are a fairly new author at Lit and this is your first series. I think you are on the right track with this story. It feels fresh and I do look for new chapters daily (even if they are to short hehe he) I'm looking forward to the time you start to connect the dots so to speak. I will keep coming back, again because I think this maybe a story worth following!

I am not sure whether I enjoy your story or not. I like aspects of it all, but it feels so rushed and forced at times. Since the chapters are so short, you don't elaborate or allow things to flow at a more natural pace.

I feel that the characters are static and can't fully connect with them. I find it hard to believe that she didn't freak out when he transformed or is taking everything in stride. She automatically says "Madame Alpha", but I don't understand how she would be comfortable enough to do that and show "respect" already.

I also can't understand his demeanor. He is an "alpha" yet I don't get the strong masculine presence from him. He goes into this verbal diarrhea about being a werewolf and her being his mate, but I felt the dialogue to be forced and too rapid. There was no build up.

You are a decent writer. As many have said, I wish your chapters were longer. Length will let you develop the characters better. You give us small tidbits and then throw in all these new pieces (aka her sister and the death etc) without finish connecting the old ones.

Thank you all for your comments. I appreciate them all. I think chapter's 5 and 6 will be better. (I hope) As this is my first series, I hope I can make improvements to the next story I write. I haven't written anything in years and I am just getting my feet wet again. The rest of the chapters are longer than the first three, and I hope I have explained a bit more. If not Tell ME! I am gratefull for the response. It gives me hope to develop more.

There are a lot of things that you have left unexplained in the story. You have indicated that she has not been changed into a werewolf, but you haven't explained her heightened senses. I think that the chapters should be longer and more detail should be offered in the story.

I also think that your characters would benefit from further development. Overall I like the story and am looking forward to future chapters.

Passionate and intense. Loved it!