All Comments on 'Attacked Ch. 04'

it is a good chapter but i think it needs a little more detail and possible be a little longer i am enjoying the story and look forward to future chapters

I like the characters and the story can grow to be a great one. You need to slow down though. First, Poor Darryl didn't cum!!! lol What the heck. Now aside from that, the scene was too rushed. It could have been slowed down and had more detail. You had a huge event, he warns about his wolf coming out so you could have either had it happen or explained that Darryl kept his wolf under control knowing that the wolf being bigger would huirt her since it was her first time...just whatever but adding emotion to it. How did she feel? Aside from that, I really think you need to make longer chapters. I was so excited to see the next installment but it being just one scene was a let down. I'd rather see it take longer for another chapter then get one so short and I know that tends to be the feeling of many readers in the genre. I also think you should have someone read over it for mistakes. Little errors take away from it so an editor could catch those. You have the makings of a great story. I hope you'll consider these things.

i'm with cannd on this one...it seems your trying to push out a chapter as soon as possible. now i dont mind that but the development of the story is going to suffer...take some time and build the chapters a little more. you can go into greater detail and depth if you would like. HAVE FUN with your characters and your story, do not feel scared to poke fun at them.

I would like to remind you that the comment preceding mine are not meant to be mean, but rather to encourage you. It must be extremely hard to be an author and unsure if you are on the right track. Well you are on the right track. If someone comments for longer chapters, it because we like your story and would really like to read more of it at one sitting.

As for Angel giving herself to Darrell, somethings just can't wait. I get it, once Angel made her decision there was just no stopping her. And she did honestly think everything through. So although it surprised me, it wasn't really out of character for Angel. We still have the shower or any other time for them to come together and make love for the first time.

Never mind what people say about it been a bit rushed.

Yes probably Angel did have sex rather quickly with Darrell. But it seemed right and Angel did think it out. I agree whole heartly with Love at first sight and can understand you. This is a great story and I cannot wait to read more.

Being an author can be hard ometimes but hang in there you are doing alright.

I'm in the process of writing my own story and have been trying to make my chapters longer. It is not easy but you will get the hang of it soon.

Keep writing you are doing well. HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011

I waited a few days because the chapters are short and I wanted to read a few of them at the same time. I am really liking the story as a whole, I just wish the chapters were a little longer.

Too short