by Dark_Brother
...you kept switching back and forth from past-tense to present-tense towards the end there. Awkward as hell and ripped me right out of the story at first. Still, all in all, a good read.
The quote from the Wheel of Time series is: "Death is lighter than a feather, Duty heavier than a mountain."
I'm beginning to think youre Brandon Sanderson and use this as a passtime. Great work
I'm surprised to find another author whose favorite works were written by Sanderson and Jordan. Keep up the good work comrade.
Loving the Jordan, Sanderson and gaming references! Keep up the good work!
she was raped because of him if he just leaves her for shanna that would have been just wrong
Death is lighter than a feather, duty is heavier than a mountain
Multiple partners (harem life), leather, submission, bondage, corsetry, exhibitionism, etc are examples of kink. Making her *really* horny was (probably; I certainly don't actually know) my dearly departed Depression-era grandmother's notion of kinky.
...that you kept switching verb modes between normal narrative and an almost Damon Runyon-esque present indicative mode?
(For those not familiar with Runyon's fiction, the basis for the musical "Guys & Dolls", here's a sample (close approximation, from memory):
"I wonder he does this, but I do not ask him, as persons who ask questions may obtain reputations as persons who wish to find things out."
Now we gotta get Lela into this being that he is a father of a new species....
Really don’t like when women exclude the main character from conversations. Essentially excluding him from decision making.