Because of You

There was a large reception was at The Ranch of all places. Maybe now the place would hold happier memories for me. A large contingent of oil rig workers was there by invitation including my old friends Jared and Jesse. I had a chance to catch up with them and some of the other rough necks I had worked with.

Kelly as the maid of honor and I as best man were sort of thrown together all night. There were pictures, seating at the bride and groom's table, and the traditional dances. I don't really think we had to be forced to spend the time together; in fact you couldn't have separated us with a crow bar. We spent the evening enjoying each other's company because we wanted to. Needless to say, a good time was had by all who attended.

The first week of the honeymoon, I called Billy Ray at least every other day to understand how to handle some unexpected items that came up. By the time the third week came around, he had to call me to find out what was going on. I had grown into the job and was doing well at it.

The newlyweds decided to extend their trip for another two weeks because the business was in good hands. I was glad when they came home and I could go back to my old job and get rid of the responsibilities of being the "boss" of Jones Oil.

While her new step-father and mother were gone, Kelly and I continued to meet a couple of nights a week for dinner and have our little adventures on the weekends. Once the new couple returned we saw no reason to stop spending time together. In fact I had more time now that Billy Ray returned we increased our "dates", both in number and in activities.

By this time Kelly and I were more than just good buddies spending time together. We were half assed in love with each other and had started to talk about "us". I had come to the conclusion that I couldn't wallow in self pity or cut myself off from people anymore. Maybe I would be hurt again but I decided I couldn't go through life being afraid of loving someone or having someone love me. Kelly in this case. I knew that she could hurt me but I thought it was worth the gamble.

Every time I would start to hint or talk about moving our relationship up a notch, she would smoothly changed the subject or get me to talk about something else. Now I know it's usually the women that want a clarification on a relationship. But considering my history, I wanted to know if I was setting myself up to be hurt again. Mainly I wanted Kelly and me to be "us" instead of just Kelly and me. Hell of a turnaround for me, don't you know.

One Friday night after dinner, Kelly suggested that we go dancing. We had been to a couple of neighborhood bars and danced a few time, but she wanted to go to a big dance hall. She wanted to go to The Ranch. I wasn't thrilled with her choice as it still held some bad memories for me. I thought maybe it's just another step I need to make to get rid of the baggage in my life.

We got to the honkey tonk and it wasn't too busy as it was only about 8:00; it would start to fill up around 10:00. Kelly and I had just come back to our table after dancing when up jumped that same damn devil that had screwed up my life before. Remember him?

I had pulled out Kelly's chair and she sat done when I heard, "Hello Jason. It's good to see you." It was Marsha Ann with her flavor of the night or week or whatever, another urban cowboy.

Seeing Marsha Ann brought back all the anger and hurt from so long ago. Feelings I thought I had put behind me. She was still very pretty but had a hard look about her. If she was a horse I would have said she had been rode hard and put away wet. Marsha Ann stood there waiting for me to say something to her.

"Hello Marsha Ann," I said without enthusiasm.

"I haven't seen you in what about a year and a half or so? How have you been?" Marsha Ann looked at Kelly like she was a rattlesnake under a bush. "Aren't you going to introduce us?"

That was the last thing I wanted to do, but I was sort of stuck with a dry well. "Kelly this is Marsha Ann, my ex-wife. Marsha Ann this is Kelly, my......." I hesitate a little. Did I introduce Kelly as a friend or my girlfriend or what?

"Hi, I'm Kelly Volmer, Jason's fiancée. Nice to meet you." Kelly said and saved me. There was a challenge in her voice.

Marsha Ann was a little shocked at the word fiancée. To be honest, so was I but I tried not to show it. Good ole Marsha Ann wouldn't let the challenge go unanswered and said, "Give me a call Jason and we can get together to talk about old times. Any reason two old friends can't have lunch or something, is there?"

I was steaming. First I was angry at myself because of the feelings that seeing Marsha Ann drug up. Then I was angry at Marsha Ann for trying to put Kelly down by telling me to call her and the way she looked at Kelly. All and all I was about as pissed off as I had ever been.

"No, I won't be calling you Marsha Ann. We have nothing to talk about at lunch or anywhere else. We're not friends and I don't want anything to do with you. I told you when we split up to go to hell. I meant it then and I haven't changed my mind. Go to hell and leave me alone."

I took Kelly's hand and started to lead her out to my truck. Shouldn't have done what I did then, it was petty and below me, but I couldn't resist. I said, "C'mon Kelly let's go, something stinks around here."

Marsha Ann's "cowboy" was younger than me by four or five years and shorter. He was huskier than me and I guess that gave him courage and he puffed himself up to challenge me. "We don't talk to our women folk like that where I come from," he said in a phony Texas accent.

"Then go back to where ever the hell y'all come from, boy." I answered. I think my anger had over road my good sense and I wanted to hit something.

Kelly stepped in between us and told the young man, "Buddy, you're about to make a bad career move here. It would be best for all of us to walk away."

Marsha Ann grabbed the guys arm and pulled him toward the dance floor saying, "C'mon Bobby Jo, he'll kill you if you fight with him. I've seen him hurt men before. He's a brute."

As we walked to the truck, I was muttering to myself. I opened the door for Kelly, jumped behind the wheel and drove away; still muttering to myself. When we got to her place, she turned to me and silently asked for an explanation. I think she was a little upset; her eyes bore into me like a laser.

I told her that I was really disappointed in myself. That all the old anger and hurt had came back when I saw Marsha Ann and I thought I had put all that behind me. She nodded as I talked and said she understood.

"What about this fiancée thing you said to Marsha Ann?" That really surprised me."

"I thought Marsha Ann was trying to put a spur into you and I thought I would give her back some of her own medicine. Make no mistake she didn't have to come by our table, she did it on purpose. She wanted to torture you a little. I thought introducing myself as your fiancée would set her back a step or two." Kelly smiled at me proudly.

"One good thing about seeing Marsha Ann tonight, it showed me that I have no left over feelings for her, other than the anger I showed tonight. Now that's gone too. She hasn't aged all that well, I guess her party lifestyle is catching up to her. She looks hard."

"What left over feelings did you think you had for her Jason?" Kelly's stare wouldn't allow me not to answer truthfully.

"I guess I missed her and thought maybe I still loved her a little, in spite of what she did. Now I know that isn't so. I missed being part of a family. You know a wife and maybe kids someday. That's what I missed, not Marsha Ann." I was being as honest as possible. "Where does this leave us Kelly?"

"You know how I changed the subject whenever you started to talk about a more serious relationship? Those left over feelings you talked about were the reason I did that. I could tell that you had something unresolved concerning Marsha Ann and until you dealt with them, I didn't want to get too close. I didn't want to love you and then get dumped," Kelly said.

"Well I'm free now Kelly. I love you and know that all my ghosts are gone. Will you marry me?"

"Are you sure that's what you want?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. The only reason I haven't asked before is that you seem to shut me down when I got close to asking you before. Please, will you marry me?" The hugs and kisses we exchange in the front seat of my truck that night answered that question for me.

*********************

Kelly and I have been engaged for a year and the wedding is in two weeks. The long engagement was to make sure that all my demons had been killed. They have. Billy Ray is going to have to run the business without me for about a month because Kelly and I plan to take a long honeymoon.

We are going to the Grand Canyon and hike down to Phantom Ranch. It will be my second visit but a new adventure for Kelly. After that we are going to Laughlin to spend a few days with my friend Ron. He has promised us the VIP treatment. When we leave Laughlin, Kelly and I are going on a cattle drive in Colorado. We will help move a herd of cattle from the high country pastures back down to the ranch in the lower valley.

If we have the time I will take Kelly to see the Pacific Ocean. None of these are very romantic, but the romance will be being together. We need to take the time while we can because when we come back I have a new job. I will be the big he dog at Jones Oil. Billy Ray is going to retire when we get back and he has made me a full partner.

He says a man will always work harder for himself than for someone else. Betty Sue said it's just an excuse to do something nice for Kelly and me plus it keeps it in the family.

I'll say it one more time: It's really good to have friends

Quote: Life goes on