All Comments on 'Birthday Wishes Come True'

I realize it's suppose to make it more intimate, but it is so awkward.

It's the real sign of a mind control freak.

It's the last refuge of really poor writers. It's an attempt to draw the reader in emotionally, but it ALWAYS fails. Unfortunately, some "writers" never learn. First person can be done effectively, but first person, present tense sucks.

There were some good ideas in your story. The writing was ok, but I agree with the other comments regarding style. Hope to read more from you.

The writing style was akward, but well intentioned. Emotionally the story never quite engaged, perhaps because the characters were not clearly drawn. Aside from that the story was inventive and funny in its way. Thanks for writing.

I'm not normally a fan of the "I" and "you" stories, but you pulled it off (so to speak)! the pace was really good. The use of words and descriptors kept the reading in time with the action. Characters could do with just a tiny bit more work, but not too much or you'd lose the special/suprise air to it.

I'm my wife wouldn't have taken me to a porn cinema and let another woman fuck me she would find something better to get me excited.

Sorry no stars