All Comments on 'Blood Moon: Lucian's Story Ch. 04'

Just wow. Mechmanas

The story is great but way way to short. PLease could u make them longer and more offten xxx

You can not leave us hanging. PLEASE post the next chapter quickly.

Sorry you just lost me with this chapter. Up until now I was really enjoying your work but this was just so wrong on every level. I loved Lucien as a character right from the first story but there is just NO comeback for what he has just done. He could get down on his knees for the rest of his life and beg for forgiveness and never be able to atone for this.

I really can't express just how disappointed I am at this chapter. It has killed the story completely for me.

I dont like to sound mean or anything but I was disappointed with this one. This part was so short and seemed rushed. I did like what was written but a little more would be nice. I understand wanting to leave em hanging but a little filler would have been nice. I'm hoping you dont make her forgive him so easily

DO NOT let her forgive him easily! make him grovel like a dog!

can't wait till the next chapter.

Pleeease hurry.

I was really enjoying this story until this chapter but this one just make me sick. There's never a reason for rape and what you had done to her was so wrong on so many levels. I don't think that there's anything that you can do to save this story for me. I can't tell you how disappointed I am with how you went with the story. All I can say is that Lucian and his brother should be killed and all of the guards castrated and it still wouldn't help the story. To me there's no way anyone could forgive what he had done to her.

i agree with almost all the other comments. Wat he had done to her does not seem like wat he would have done after his reaction to wat was done to her in the 1st chapter.

OMG MORE! PLEASE!!!

She better be alive! :) And when she is fully recovered, I want her to beat the shit out of Lucian! Pay back is a bitch! lol

Please reconsider this chapter. If you do not, then there is no way to redeem Lucian. He purposely left her to be brutalized and gang raped. He could have just as easily confined her to quarters, pending a tribunal. Any attempt you made to put those two together, or to even have her be a whole person, would seem disingenuous at best after this episode. As a writer, I know that sometimes new twists to existing story lines come into your head. However, as you can see from the comments listed here, you have chased a rabbit on this one, and it has led you to a dead end. Please rewrite, and repost, this chapter. We'll be waiting.

unnecessary. Not to mention unappealing. Let's not even get into how this is so far from what Lucian believes in. I didn't buy this chapter and I didn't enjoy it at all.

I think you should reconsider the rape aspect. Maybe just having the guards beat her, but Lucien telling them not to use her sexually. The rape is the only part that turned me off. Other than that I am still loving this story!

I really wish you would rewrite then repost also, this chapter has destroyed the Lucien character from everything you wrote prior to this chapter. The foundation you set earlier for Lucien does not give with this chapter, he would NEVER give any female especially one that just lost her virginity over to be gang raped or beaten.

Very poorly written chapter.

I do enjoy your writing. This chapter was disturbing. I am not really sure how you are going to go about the redemption of Lucian. By submitting someone to such brutality because of what you thought was a betrayal does not bode well in the karma department. Seriously..., his conversation with Syra seemed like it took but a moment. If he bothered to voice his upset he could have prevented the great harm he has just committed. Unless he is gang raped and is at deaths door trying to protect Kiryn I can't see how he will even forgive himself for his rush to punishment. He could have just killed her in the hall. He wanted to cause her pain of the most base kind. Well, you are the writer..., I will trust you to lead us in this story. My heart hurts for Kiryn because she is alone. Every hint that you give us of her background shows us how alone she is. It seems that the pain that was glimpsed in her eyes may have been a part of her she does not even know about. It seems she lives the reality of betrayal and it has happened often. How many times does a person have to be violated and stripped of their self worth? You get rescued to be misjudged and brutalized..., and don't forget that Lita will be there to throw Jealous retribution on top of it. Sorry I am on a tare. Please tell your story. I am enjoying it, I am just totally un-nerved by this chapter because I cannot see where it can go from here. Kiryn was better off in that horrible village with those horrible people. At least there she knew her enemies. She does not even comprehend who or what she is and she has been labeled and punished wrongly in such a demeaning and horrific way. Why is the rape of a person so easy to write? It is a horrible reality that a band-aid or an I am sorry just cannot fix. Rape is a violation it should never be a punishment..., maybe only for a rapist. And why would you allow a woman to be beaten? Ok, I am done.

Hated it. There is no way for Lucian to redeem himself. Take the rape out and just have her beaten up. I love your stories, but I could not take the rape in the story.

I actually disagree with the previous comments, I liked this chapter and can't wait to find out what Kiryn has to say to Lucian when she's let go...my only advice would be to give Kiryn a back bone and a justified sense of indignation

How can you leave it there! That is so unfair more please! NOW!

I would like to see Malachi give a vicious glare to Lucian and push him out of the way when they get to the cell and gently lift Kiryn and carry her to his own room and call for the healer.

Also what would Lucian's punishment be for disobeying his king's order as Malachi told him to "Take her to a single cell and leave her there. We can deal with her after this week's festivities are over. Until then she can decide wither she wants to tell us the truth or not."

There was no mention of rape or torture!

Please don't let the negative comments cause you to doubt yourself or be swayed from writing where YOUR story takes YOU.

While I certainly can understand everyone's negative view points about the rapes,.....

I actually think this was the correct version and "Vampire Reality" of what would have happened in the story's natural progression!

It's goes without saying that while many of us still continue to enjoy immersing ourselves in the "Sugar Sweet Happily Ever After" stories found in repetitious multitude amongst every category on this site, ........

I find it refreshing and BRAVE for the lead romantic character NOT to be so predictably written as the usual "Sugar and Spice Hero" !

As the author of this wonderful story, You really should consider the intense reactions found in the reviews of this chapter as BOTH a compliment and challenge....... Now, the REAL test is... Can you BOTH delight and deliver us from this evil ?.......

My bets are on you babe,...So shock us and thrill us and ...rock all of our "Hearts and Flowers" world up a bit!!!!

Unless you want a female lead that has no backbone... no sense of self worth whatsoever, there is no way that they could ever be together. As a female, I would NEVER forgive a man that left me in a situation to be gang raped repeatedly, not only left me there but told the men to do with me as they wished. There is nothing he could do EVER that would make that up. Nothing. As suggested by others, please rewrite this chapter, please.

Ahh yes poor Lucian he felt so bad when he gave permission for her to be abused that he screwed every woman he could get his hand on, I feel so sorry for him NOT!!!

The crush Kiryn had on him should surely be dead now and I am hoping that they will be replace by deeper feelings for Malachi. I know a few coments have blamed him aswell but I can't see it myself he told Lucian to put her in a cell for a while, not to have her abused, he just wanted to get to the truth. It was Lucian and he alone who decided to do more than he was ordered! I would like to know the punishment that he should get since he disobeyed the king who had a soft spot for her himself and was only taking Lucian's word that she had betrayed them, yet he didn't order her to be hurt in fact he told Syra that she would be safe where she was. So I can only imagine how enraged he will be when he sees her!----willieone

ignore the people who tell you to rewrite. (unless YOU want to rewite of course) Not every story can have a perfectly happy ending, and not every part of the story can be sunshine and happiness. I really enjoyed this story, and yes, the rape/abuse part shocked me. BUT I don't think it ruined the story. In his mind, Kiryn betrayed him...yes, he over-reacted. Do I think that she should forgive him easily? NO!! I also don't think that he meant she could be used sexually when he told the guards she was to be given no quarter. He will be regretting this for the rest of his life. I don't know where you plan on taking this story, but rest assured, I will be looking for the next chapter(s).

As a writer, I understand the choice to put something like this in a story. It hurts, and it sucks, and people may say nasty things or stop reading, but you have to put it there to tell every aspect of the story. And if someone doesn't like what you write, then they don't have to read it...it's as simple as that.

Dang, that's just harsh! Personally I do hope Lucian is forgiven. I will admit, I would forgive a man for that kind of mistake, but would I completely trust him again? Doubtful. So we'll just see.

Life is like a roller coaster.i don't like rape,but it happens.i survived and came good at the end.if i made it.then the story will.be care full how you write the next chapter.like the rest say,don't make her forgive him easy.they are soulmates.all i ask is do your best.x

whn r u gonna write d nxt chaptr............n dnt re-write ds chap........plz write fst m waitn

I'm extremely glad I found this jewel of a story while I searched the word 'betrayed' in the search box. I hope you update soon!

I have been waiting for Chapter 3 and 4 for awhile. I'm glad you continued with the story. Wonderful job!

excellent chapters. please write the next ones asap. I can't wait another minute to find out what happens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it's one of the best I've read on this site :) I can't wait to read the next chapter! please give me my Blood Moon fix soon ;)

I can't belive Lucian did that to her, I really hope he sufferers from his horrible action. I can't imagine how she can forgive him for this but at the same time they are just meant to be :)

great work!

I love this story! Please don't delay with the next chapter, I am dying to know what happens next!

Wow, you sure made it vivd what he did to her. Lucian is an insect to me now...after I thought he was so good. I know he felt betrayed since he had feelings for her starting when he punished her. Didn't he say that what the humans did was something that he couldn't understand them doing to "so lovely a creature." Can't he read thoughts...why didn't he read her thoughts that she didn't have a clue why she had fangs. Why do that to a woman no matter the reason? Disgusting. I can't know how she will not be broken after what she went through. I just am appalled. If she gets through this...

But I also blame Malachai and Syra. If Syra found out what she was in the moments after she'd been put in the dungeon but could do nothing b/c of Malachai's order to leave it be for the week, why would she not go to see her at least. Even if she couldn't approach the King to fight it, she could go see her or have her mate tell his BROTHER that the girl was not guilty. Why let a second week go by then without fighting for the girl. She at least could have gone to see her and found her being violated and abused.

Oh, Lucian. How could you do that?

Damn you Lucian!!!! She aught to bite the shit out of him first chance she gets!!!!

I am so disapointed with Lucian and with all that just went on that just for the hell of it I almost gave you a just one star I belive she should make him grovel for two to five hundred years for the first week alone

This is the only part of the story that I have any problems with. Why is it that in fiction people undergo horrendous abuse and one the people the put them into that situation realise it was a mistake they are almost back to normal as quickly as it takes for the physical wounds to be healed? What happened to PTSD, Flash backs, instant phobias, and all the other mental damage that happens to people that go through this sort of thing? Even if you include a mystical link between mated couples, it's the damage is still there.

One truism about the human psychi is that it takes moments to destroy, and year to patch it up again, and patching it is all that can be done.

I'm sorry I'm saying this about your story, as apart from this it is a really good story and I look forward to reading the rest of it.