Book 02: A Match Made Ch. 01

I wasn't sure exactly what day it was. It knew it was still October and that Barb had been back in town for a few days. And I knew the coat I wore wasn't nearly heavy enough to keep me warm. I knew Kelly had her reservations about me. This is not something she takes lightly and, knowing my history, she'd make sure it was absolutely the right thing for me before she agreed to bring me back into the fold. As the taxi pulled up to the stop, my heart pounded.

Am I ready to do this again? The fact that I'm naked under this coat is a good indication and, as I opened the door to the cab, my mind was made up. My legs weakened as I approached Kelly; nervous but also captivated by her beauty. It wasn't just that she was a naturally gorgeous woman; it was her confidence; an aura that enveloped any who came close.

A couple steps away, my stomach started to flip-flop. I suddenly realized I was out of practice with the proper etiquette when addressing a Mistress. I would just have to hope she was understanding and wouldn't consider it disrespectful. Once I was at her side, I kept my eyes down and decided to lead with the truth.

"Good evening Mistress. I'm afraid it's been some time and I've forgotten how to address you."

You could hear the smile in her voice. "Kara, look at me." I did, her hazel eyes were hypnotic. "Before we worry about any of that, we need to have a conversation about you." I nodded. "Let's start with why you called me."

"I need to know more about who I am. I would like to find a Domme in order to explore my need for humiliation and maybe..." She knew; I didn't have to say it.

"Kara, I will not be any part of you finding an outlet for pain. While this is often a part of a scene, it's not in your best interest considering your history." I looked away; this isn't what I wanted to hear. "I told you to look at me." Her voice was harsh; it had been soft and even just seconds before. Great start, Kara. My eyes were instantly back on hers. Initially I opened my mouth to speak but her eyes told me otherwise, so I waited for her to continue. "This is not negotiable. If you want me to introduce you back into this lifestyle so you can expose yourself to physical harm again then go home." I'm not sure why but my chin quivered. "Say yes Ma'am if you agree; I'm not your Mistress."

"Yes Ma'am." My voice cracked. It's difficult to describe the power she exuded; it was both intimidating and comforting at the same time.

"I see sadness in your eyes. Tell me about that."

I hesitated. Do I tell her about Lissy? Something told me she'll get it out of me anyway, so again I chose complete honesty. "I've recently lost the woman I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with." Tears filled my eyes, I was on the brink of breaking down and I hadn't really said anything yet. Her eyes were warm, urging me to continue. "It was my fault. I betrayed her and she can't trust me anymore."

It's as if the words were stabbing me in the heart. It's one thing to think them but when you say them it makes it... real. Part of me must have known which is why I've refused to talk to anyone about her. My heart was breaking all over again. I hung my head and cried. Oh I tried to stop but it was useless. I hadn't allowed myself to let go, and in less than five minutes this extraordinary woman had pulled it from me. I knew right then that this wasn't just about punishing myself; it was about feeling again.

Her voice was soothing, "Kara, it's obvious you have a lot of hurt you haven't been dealing with. This may not be the right time. You have my number, give it some time and call me."

I shook my head as I rubbed the tears from my face and brought my eyes back up. I did my best to sound sure of myself. "Please Ma'am. Yes, I'm hurting but I believe this will help me face my feelings. I've been sulking on a friend's couch for weeks. Something has to give; I need this."

She smiled and it flooded my body with warmth. "Very well. Now lower your eyes and don't look at me or anyone unless I give you permission. You'll be my sub tonight and you will not participate without my say so. Your mouth stays shut unless instructed to speak or asked a direct question. You must agree to do anything I ask of you for the duration of the evening until I release you. For my part, I agree to make your safety and well-being a priority and will act accordingly. Afterwards, you will be free to go and any further interactions will be at my request only. Do you agree to these terms?"

"Yes, Ma'am." I would have agreed to anything, she made me feel safe and I trusted her.

"Good. This will be your only opportunity to ask questions, so if you have them ask now."

"No, Ma'am."

All of this seems formal but it was solely for my benefit. She knew it had been quite some time for me and I'd already admitted to not being sure of the rules. I appreciated her thoroughness. Without another word she turned and headed down the sidewalk, I followed a few paces behind. With each step, my anticipation grew. It seemed like forever since I had looked forward to something. It felt good.

We arrived at the 'club,' which was actually a house, a short time later. Through the back door and down the stairs without seeing another person. As soon as we entered the basement, everything was transformed. It looked similar to many of the places I'd been to before but classier. I stole glances as we walked amongst the crowd and Mistress greeted several other Dommes. The lighting was dim except for several alcoves spread throughout. Each was setup for a scene to be performed and had floor to ceiling curtains that could be pulled for privacy. The energy in the room was electric; I'm realizing how much I've missed it.

As Mistress ushered us around, I felt eyes on me from all sides. Of course I wasn't permitted to look, but god was it making me hot. What happened next set me on fire. Yes, she knew. "Pet, take off your coat and hang it by the door." That would mean walking through the crowd and back again, naked. On display for everyone. I ignored the thundering in my chest and unbuttoned my coat slowly, for the pleasure of Mistress of course. As I slid it off of my shoulders and into my hand, I felt my entire body flush at once. I turned and began my journey back to the door. Some of the bodies moved aside as I approached, while others made me wait. No one would dare touch me without Mistress' permission but their gazes were enough.

By the time I'd hung up my coat and was making my way back, my thighs were slick with arousal. The urge to look up was beginning to consume me. I wanted to see the hunger I was feeling. When I got back to Mistress, she was facing away from me. I knew this was only a ruse; she had kept her eyes on me the entire 'exercise'. Not to see me naked, although I admit that notion is exhilarating, it was to ensure no one acted inappropriately. No doubt the same eyes that followed me had sought who my Mistress was and I can tell you with absolute certainty; having seen who it was, they were on their best behavior. In turn, it put me at ease, made me feel safe.

She continued to talk for several minutes before recognizing my return. It's then I noticed she had also taken off her coat. She must have found someone to handle it for her because it was just missing. I stated that she was beautiful before, but add to that sexy as hell. The mid-length leather dress hugged her body. There couldn't have been room for air between it and her silky smooth skin. From what I could see with my eyes averted, she had long sleeves and the front dipped dangerously low. The legs that came out of the bottom of that dress however, I had a wonderful view of. Her three inch black heels made every muscle stand out on her toned calves.

I was pulled from my moment of adoration by her voice. "Pet, Mistress Jamie has asked to borrow you. She enjoys tying up subs in one of her slings to be on display for her guests." Her guests? She must be the hostess. I'm honored she's taken an interest in me. I'm unsure if a response is expected since there wasn't a question posed, so I stay quiet.

Mistress Jamie begins to walk away. Do I follow? "Come with me," she calls over her shoulder. That answers that. I follow close behind, not wanting to lose sight of her. We stop at a contraption placed in the center along one wall. It's difficult to describe, but I'll do my best as she fastens me in. "Stand with your back against the wall, hands out to your side and feet spread slightly apart." Her tone is concise and even. I do as I'm told. It turns out I'm not staying in this position; it was merely to help with the tying of all the straps; and I mean twenty or more. It took several minutes for her to finish. While her demeanor was cold, she was gentle as she attached and tightened each one. Every tug on a strap heightened my stimulation. There were ones around my wrists, upper arms, ankles, thighs, stomach, shoulders and another placed firmly between my legs. It rubbed my throbbing clit and was fastened to one around my chest.

Mistress Jamie leaned close to my ear. The crowd that had formed since we began had made it difficult to talk normally. "I want you to nod if you're okay." I did. "Good. There are additional straps around your wrists, ankles and shoulders." I had wondered about that. "They are there to support your weight. This sling will lift you from the floor, spread your legs and pull your ankles as close to your wrists as you can tolerate." Holy shit, okay. I nod, more than a bit nervous at this point. The sweat snaking its way down my neck is proof. "Good girl. Are you ready?" I nod again, hoping like hell I'm indeed 'ready'. She didn't hesitate and hoisted me off the floor. It took my breath away.

From the jolt and pain, you'd have thought I was ten feet off the floor; it was more like six inches. After letting the initial shock subside, she began tightening the straps, slowly pulling my ankles out and up. My knees bent and were forced apart. The burn on the inside of my thighs was numbing. Farther and farther apart, the leather between my legs was pushing deeper. I don't know if she was waiting for it, but I nodded when it got to my threshold of pain (a little past it actually). The crowd clapped and the murmurs were building to a dull roar.

Lastly, she placed something in my right palm and said, "If it gets to be too much, pull that and you'll be released." I nod. She adds with a hint of mirth, obviously pleased with herself, "But I know you won't dare pull it. You'll let all of my guests stare at you, helpless. Won't you?" I nod again. Honestly, I have no idea what I can handle, but the challenge is invigorating.

Don't ask me how much time passed. Hosts of people came by, ogled, laughed, barked out demeaning comments and the like. Me? I could FEEL and that felt so fucking good. One visitor in particular made an impression. She stood there for a while and said nothing, then finally came close so I could hear her. "You are quite beautiful." Chills, her voice was low and raspy. "You like pain. So do I. And I'm so good at giving it." The flood gates in my pussy opened. "I've taken it upon myself to slip my card in the pocket of your coat." Her fingertips touched my cheek, I flinched. "My name is Mistress Veronica. Call me." Before I could respond, she was pulled away.

Her voice was replaced with Mistress Kelly's. "I don't think we've met. Who are you, exactly?" Her voice was a knife.

Veronica scoffed and replied curtly, "Leaving." I didn't dare tell Mistress what she said to me, and the event signaled our time to leave. As I was carefully lowered and the straps removed one by one, an overwhelming feeling of guilt hit me. What would Lissy think of me here, doing this? This isn't what I want, is it? No - I think. Tell kitty that, you slut! The tears were brief but telling. What I thought I needed was a distraction from what I want. I want Lissy back.

Mistress brought me my coat and we left without another word. She was not happy with how it ended. Her radar had been triggered and was having no more of it. As we stood waiting for my taxi, she was brief. "Kara, you did well tonight. I'm pleased. I can't stress enough that I don't want you venturing back into this lifestyle alone. If you want to continue to pursue it, I ask that you call me."

"Yes Ma'am." My hand searched my pocket and felt the thin card inside.

"Good. Now be safe." She turned and left as my taxi pulled to the curb.

** October 30th **

Kara

I'd been a machine the past few days. For the first time in a while, I felt a sense of purpose. After my night with Kelly, I realized that my priority was Lissy. Yes, there were answers still to be had and healing to be done but it was clear to me that I needed my partner to do it. We'd figure it out, together. After I stopped feeling sorry for myself about what happened on my birthday, I knew the reason why Lissy had run. It was the same as my reason - panic. What would we say? I'm sure she even doubted whether or not she saw me, just as I had her. One thing I knew with absolute certainty though, she loved me. I just needed to get in front of her again and this time, I won't run. I'm ready to throw myself at her mercy, beg for her forgiveness and do whatever it takes to win her trust again. She's my everything and I can't and won't live without her.

Back to the machine and my purpose. I started with showing up to work on time again. Seems obvious but it helped me get back into a routine. Often I'd show up early and was able to cut out of the office a bit early. This gave me time to catch a bus and get over to Lissy's side of town before she left for the day. The first couple of days, I went for the sure thing. I waited near her office to get a glimpse of her as she walked out. I needed to see her without the pressure of approaching. Something to take the edge off for when it was time. It worked, I think. In the very least it made me happy. Just those few seconds changed my whole evening. I was giddy even. Barb must have thought I was off my rocker, more than usual, but I know she was just happy to see me not sulking. So was I. The dreams had stopped too. The routine was working. Soon my love... we'll be together again.

A couple of days before Halloween I decided to try and intercept her at the coffee shop by her office. I'd seen her there before and I just had a feeling that today was the day. Filled with anticipation, I barely slept the night before. Finally at 4am I got up and showered. I tried to relax and see if maybe just the possibility of seeing her today would allow me a much needed orgasm. I hadn't been able to cum since we were together last. No chance. Kitty was on lockdown... little bitch. She had clearly established a 'Lissy or nothing' policy. I giggled as I dried off; nothing was going to get me down. Can't say I blamed her either, I felt the same way. It's okay honey, we're going to get our girls back.

When I hit the sidewalk outside Barb's condo Wednesday morning there was a spring in my step. I had a destination, a purpose and, most importantly, confidence. I hailed a cab and as we drove, I thought about the past few days and my brief Lissy sightings. She was beautiful. There is an air about her, confidence and kindness. I had been too far away to catch the details of her face but my memory filled in the blanks. Her lips, those legs and that neck... I shivered. Yeah, I have it bad and I miss her something terrible. Before you say anything, no I don't just miss her body. It just happens to be the only thing I can think about at the moment. I have the feeling I may be under the influence of my kitty's burning need to be reunited with her love. I get it, really. The cab's abrupt stop in front of the coffee shop broke me out of my daydream. I paid and headed inside. This was a long shot but in the very least I'd get a good cup of chai tea.

As I waited for my order the nerves started to set in a tad. I wasn't going to back out, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel slightly sick to my stomach. When the barista handed me the tea, my hands were shaking. Deep breaths Kara, come on. I grabbed the cup with both hands and made my way to a table. Sitting is probably a sound idea. Time began to fly by. Commuters, one after the other, came in and back out again. Usually I enjoy people watching but there was only one person I was interested in seeing.

After 9am came and went, I knew the window had passed but I ordered another tea and stayed until 10. I wasn't going to let myself get discouraged. Instead, I used the time to think of my next move. Just before I left, I had another plan. Halloween would be a perfect time to catch her at her house. I laughed to myself as I entertained the possibility of dressing up and showing up under the guise of trick or treating. Yeah, it's a silly idea but it didn't stop me from having it. That's one thing her and I always did well, silly. Nope, I think showing up as me would be more than enough. Goosebumps flooded my skin as I headed back out into the cold and went to work.

** October 31st **

Lissy

I think the only reason I went out to dinner on Halloween was the whole 'trick or treat' thing. Normally I don't mind the kids and all the rest of it. These days? I had no interest in any of it at all. I have no idea what sort of silliness Kara and I would have dreamed up. Having dinner alone was a miserable solution -- trust me! But I took some sort of solace in the thought that at least I wasn't 'alone' -- as in -- the restaurant was reasonably full.

I ordered a bottle of red wine, a New York strip steak, a salad with blue cheese dressing, and potato chips. HA! Kidding! My heart may be tattered but I still have my sense of humor. Course potato chips made me think of Twizzlers, which made me think of those blue eyes I miss so desperately.

"Lissy! I'm surprised to see you downtown after work. Is Kara coming or is she in the ladies room?"

Bette? You have to be fucking KIDDING me! I knew who it was in the first couple of words. Talk about trick or treat!

I tried to make it a snarl rather than a scream. "What the fuck are you doing here?" I saw her body shrink at my anger.

"I... maybe this was a mistake, Lissy. I just wanted to say hi to you both and ask how... Maybe this was a bad idea."

"Bad idea? We're not seeing each other thanks to you." Surprise and shock registered on what I stupidly thought was a pretty face. "Yeah, Alexis, that's right. Your idiocy, not to mention Kara's lack of honesty, led to our breakup."

If she was devastated to hear that we weren't a couple anymore, using the name Kara knew her as seemed a dagger. Her eyes darted side to side as she looked for anyone who might hear our conversation. The restaurant was crowded but the area around us wasn't. I wanted to get in one more shot.

"Has the Department of Professional Regulation contacted you yet?" She turned completely pale.

"I better be going." No eye contact. "Have a good night, Lissy." She shuffled away. I took a big gulp of wine.

My server brought my dinner. I wondered if she'd seen what happened.

"I'm so sorry; would you please get this ready for me to take home." I smiled. "Your service has been fine. I'm just not as hungry as I thought I was." She never looked at me as she took my plate in her hand.

"If that woman was a problem I can speak to my manager and have her removed." Let me say that it was tempting.

"Thank you, but it won't be necessary." I handed her my credit card. "If you'd ring this up I'll be on my way." A thin smile, a nod, and she left. I poured another glass of wine. I might as well drink this -- I paid for it. I put the glass down and shook my head. Wine isn't going to bring Kara back. Whining isn't either. Fuck it -- I took another deep gulp.