All Comments on 'Born that Way'

and never the twain shall survive. TK U MLJ LV NV

Great work as always!

You had me from the first paragraph. When I encounter such a talented author as yourself, I get so into the story that I start dreading the conclusion. You certainly have the ability to evoke real emotions from your readers. Thank you so much for your efforts in our behalf.

its going 2 be a little rough getting thru the day but this was a rock solid read. I would love to expound more on the virtues of the story alas I must award full marks & debark for the land of Nod.

Not enough sex, not enough violence, not enough revenge, and a little to long. And yet I enjoyed the hell out of it. Great story and keep'em coming.

This was another great story. I downloaded because the author has always pleased even though the teaser did not sound like my style. Loved it!

From the very beginning I was expecting trouble if she was what she said she was!

I used to date some Vassar gals back when it was uni-sex and they were all very complicated.

Thanks

I had NO sympathy for him. He was a fucking idiot. he saw the clues ...he has a brain and he ignored them.

Sure NYC and TN can --and DO -- get along but NOT when its ALL NYC and ALL me all the time. NO marriage can survive that. Given the wife's back ground her lifestyle her family wealth and the values her parents displayed this marriage had NO chance . Zero.

Despite their efforts, I couldn't help feeling that I was a loser. I'd tried to play the dating game and had lost. I tried love and marriage, and again I had lost.

Stupidity in the end usually wins and ALWAYS costs you a lot .

and thinking with your Dick is ALWAYS stupid

Thanks for sharing a great story!

Hooray!

Good read as all ways. I would like to read more of this character and his friends in NY. The upset lesbian roomy was an intriguing little teaser.

I just got sucked into it.

Well done again. Fine character development with a good story line and plot.

thxs for posting

Thanks for writing and sharing. Great tale!

So original, so off-beat, yet believable -- I'm from NY <g>. The character development was outstanding. Perfectly composed; I would not change a word of it. FM, you are a master wordsmith.

About the only note that really jarred was the bit about him needing to be prompted to save his profile. He would know that stuff. Otherwise, very well written.

Enjoyed it alot. Wish there were more stories like this one. Real characters and a believable story

outstanding writing...and please, keep the Ms Sarah stories coming

Great all around author.

Really good! I enjoyed it thoroughly. IMO your best one yet, and one of the best LW stories in months

but for a good story it needs a lot more. it's really depressing reading your stories. especially this one. the other series is a clear call. eventhough not a lot more cheerful.

my english teacher would say: well done, mission failed

how come ? well this is literotica ! and in no story so far and for sure not in this one , I have found a single sentence that I could identify as erotic.

if you invent even sadder characters and behaviour, they have to invent a new doom category

insipid characters

Excellent use of language. Compelling story. Should be a plus 5 category.

Held my attention till the end, and extremely well written.

made me remember Heathrow acouple of years ago. that was fun and very touching. anyway, great story.

Your Sara stories are still my favorites but this was still enjoyable.

Excellent story - well sculpted and very nicely paced.

...and a low-key but very believable tale.

Harry's right, but he's also wrong if you look at the story through the love-smitten POV of the narrator. Of course there were clues, but love transcends everything until, well, until it doesn't!

Once he found out about her he did the right thing; he came away disillusioned yet wiser, more importantly with pride and honor intact. He didn't need papa's tainted money and he'll be all the better in his future for having walked through the hot coals of deception and betrayal at so young an age.

Author I think you are getting better at this. Each story of yours I read seems an indefinable tad better than the last - a little more solid and/or believable; certainly a little more intriguing and entertaining. I had an appointment this morning but had to finish this before I left. Yes, very shallow of me but I don't read a new FM story everyday.

Thank you,

N

I hope you haven't moved on from Miz Sara

I loved this story.

Ive got to confess that you offered some tantalizing threads for misdirection that almost caught me flat-footed. Mickeys life-style and his suggestion to contact a particular dating service. Susans voice was low and throaty and many more misleading clues. You certainly had me off-balance and wondering right up to where she stopped him from removing her panties. I was this close to believing all those clues.and then I remembered this was in the L/W section of Lit. I managed to take a step back and reign in my imagination. Still, I was not disappointed in the rest of your story.

I do agree with some of the other commentators that the main character/narrator was a bit to wimpy and clueless for my tastes, but that is certainly a subjective comment on my part.

Enough said. Thank you for sharing another great tale with us.

Dear Author there are 2 relative stories on Lit. SW_MO_Hermit's story "Return to the Land" and Scouries' story "O'Scouries Valentines Day Wife". A bitch and a slut are in those stories and your slut is similar character. All three women came similar wealthy families in all stories from NYC. If an average man wants to bring up his own children in happy family circumtances and do not want to look for continous extramarittal activities, he had better an average sex drive woman. What a pity StangStar06's excellent story about it there is not here on Lit but on SOL "Iraq, I Run".

Harry may be right to think with our cock would take ourselves in wrong direction.

are you the reincarnation of Peter Sellers?

Just wondering...

I too was caught by the misdirection (was susan trans ), was she gay and going to run away with Beth? I liked the main character and his friends,decent people whom many would judge for who they are,a "hick" and two "queers"...and well off conservative types who created a monster (susan).I suspect she was a narcisist,primarily b/c her parents gave her everything but love.and attention.That need for new thrills is textbook......

And for the author bravo! As always well written ,nice too see literate fiction on here....and yes pls bring ms sara around again and again!

Dear Anon I am not so great comic artist as Peter Seller was only I like very much to laugh........For example on you. What makes somebody insult other readers instead of discussing about the stories, opinions and etc. For me it is very humorous....

I echo the concerns of some others. Harry was somewhat right, Peter was a bit of an idiot but not seriously until they were married and the other two Misskateers weren't moving out. WTF??? Before that, Susan was a bit high maintenance and a bit eccentric but not horribly so. She says several times that she does what she wants to and doesn't pay attention to her parents. A bit odd but she treats Peter pretty well. By the end is is obvious that Susan is a selfish, self centered, lying, disrespectful, unfaithful, spoiled brat. She got married because it was a neat thing to do, not that she had any idea of what being a wife entailed or that she really intended to be one.

But not much of that was visible to Peter. She hid her behavior very well.

In some ways I liked his leaving without taking anything. But on another level, Susan has spent her whole life without discipline or consequences. Now Peter let her continue that trend. Susan never pays a price for her behavior. He sees her out later and she is continuing on as before. That's dissatisfying.

Also, the lack of erotic scenes is a weakness in this forum.

However, the story as a whole was enjoyable. I liked the characters and I liked the inventive flash mob scenes. I like that he finally started to recover although there were some annoying self pitying scenes to go through. "I'd tried to play the dating game and had lost. I tried love and marriage, and again I had lost." Really pathetic. But he gets by it. Peter is not a strong character, he is kind of schlepping through his life. But he takes determined action when he finds out he has been betrayed. That's always refreshing. I even liked how Susan was portrayed because I was surprised at the depth of her self involvement. Surprise is always fun. Some clues WERE there but she is completely into her own desires. That's unusually maladaptive and THAT was the surprise.

Thoroughly enjoyed it, but you know most of us consider this a pleasant diversion to build anticipation for another Miz Sara story.

Looking forward to anything you post.

Well-written, flowed nicely, a well-deserved 5. Erotic scenes and less of the wimpiness could both have been solved by Peter himself, had he watched the DVD of his wife's cheating. The description of the video might have provided some explicit sex and if properly handled, there would be no complaints of the story lacking eroticism. But Peter shies away from viewing the disk because it would be too upsetting, thus exhibiting avoidance behavior. A non-wimp would have dealt with it and used it to become stronger and to reinforce his resolve. Thanks for writing.

He doesn't have a dick OR a brain.

Very entertaining and easy to read. Thank for a relaxing and enjoyable read

As always a very impressive story. If your not from the NY area you certainly did your research thouroghly.

Having lived my entire life in the NY city suburb's and being exposed to that Hampton's midtown penthouse kind of crowd I found the lack of any real consequence's in the slut wifes life to be kind of a letdown. These people go through life like they are coated in teflon nothing and no one means anything to them. The flash mob was good and it's not like I have to see a woman doused with gas and lit on fire everytime but something to remind her not to fuck with other peoples lives/hearts like they don't matter in the least.

My thoughts would have been for him to take the apartment kick out the Miss-keteer's and move his gay friends in or too let his lawyer loose then demand wifey and dad at the settlement and sign everything over to some charity. The only thing these people value is their money and their sense of superiority to us ordinary mortals, it's the only way to make them feel the pain.

Loved the story. Truly well thought out and presented. The jury is still out on the ending at the gay bar.

Please continue to share with us.

You captured the angst of moving to NYC right out of college perfectly. The world is your oyster...until New York swallows you up and you crack your tooth on the pearl. Wish I had thought of a dating service. I loved the warmth your characters of Mickey and Beth exuded. They heightened the endearment of your story Francis Macomber. Also some great, tension filled red herrings throughout that I thoroughly enjoyed. I particularly relished the gentle rhythm of your writing. I was slowly galloping and pointedly meandering with such exquisite, neurotic delight sentence after tender sentence. Brilliant short story. Thank you!

Excellent - well done

When I first started reading the story, I didn't think I would like it, but the further I read the better I like it.

I do think he did the right thing, not watching the CD, but I think part of his divorce settlement should have been, that her and her dad had to watch the CD together. Show her smug-ass father just how big of a whore his little girl really is, and why her husband was divorcing her.

Thanks for the read.

Thanks for sharing. I can see you put a lot of effort into this. Great job! 5*

Just shut the fuck up!!

I read your comments and half the time they are so poorly formed or so sloppy with misspellings that they you can't understand them.

This one is just mindless dribble. Is there supposed to be some point to what you are writing?

Your writing is something else.. well done.. i am a fan...

I think what some critics here fail to remember is that two people do not go into a relationship expecting the other one to be unfaithful. If they are not looking for those clues obviously they won't see them until they are hit over the head with it. As they say hind sight is 20/20. These stories are a lot like the proverbial Friday night horror movies. The audience can sit back and criticize the half naked girl for going into the dark room because after all its a horror story we would be disappointed if the murderer was not behind the door waiting to pounce. The Loving wife category is chalked full of cheating wives so we already have a preconceived notion that the wife is going to cheat so if we know that then why doesn't the wimpy husband know that. Every day life doesn't afford us the opportunity to use 20/20 hindsight.

Yep, Stii_Anonymous' comments were spot on. We read so many of these stories that we can get what I call Siskel and Ebert syndrome. I owned a few theaters years ago and I would watch these two ego maniacs review a good movie and tear it apart. After watching so many movies they couldn't just watch one for pure enjoyment.

After reading the story I thought how often have we made mistakes in our life only to think back realize we were a bonehead? I'm sure in real life Peter would have done the same. But it's a story and without drama and some stupidity there would be no story.

The characters while exaggerated to make the story interesting were realistic enough.

The writing was as always from this author well done.

Thanks for a good story!

Very creative and well written. However, I deducted 1 star because I didn't fine it to be erotic, the story was just to strainge to be realistic, and, even more so, because it didn't leave me with a feel good feeling.

A wonderfully accurate picture of NYC as it appears to the young among us. I was taken by the time spent developing all your characters... yes, even the two snippy bitches sharing Susan's apartment. But Mickey and Beth are special, realy special and I suspect drawn from real life. This was a particularly well written tome, with most if not all the angst found in our early years spent seeking the perect mate. And you point out that one does not always find that person. As an author myself, I have found that many readers can't accept a woman cheating on a man, although they have no problem going the opposite direction. Were i you, Mr. Macomber, I would ignore those biased readers and cherish the others taking time to render their appreciation for a tale well told. 5 stars!!!!!

Nuf said.

This story deserves more than 5 stars. I loved your character development. I realized toward the end that his two roommates had developed from strange, even weird characters into a wise, sweet and loyal, if quirky pair. His pain was if anything under-dramatized and certainly in scale with the betrayal. The pacing was great. A very satisfying read. Thank you for sharing the fruits of your talent.

Makes an even 3. Keep on writing, but please try to give your males some balls. This was often painful to read.

Thesis more like something Danielle steel would write definatly not erotica but a good story none the less

Given the title and the early progression of the story, when she said to keep the panties on, I was expecting her to have a dick. That would have shaken things up a bit.

Excellent story. You have a knack for creating outrageously bad female characters. Some are maliciously bad, some are selfishly bad (as here), some are opportunistically bad, and some seem good but just seem to be able to perpetrate terrible betrayals (like in your most recent submission-Darkness...stairs).

I thought the flash-mob breakup was pretty good. The bitch deserved a burn greater than she received. Her betrayals were so profoundly selfish and unfeeling, so disrespectful. Even her delusional suggestion for him to accept her way of being was spectactualarly deviant.

It must be fun to play with characters who are capable of such outrageous behavior.

The fact that you pull real feeling and emotion into those extreme situations in such a quality way is a testament to your writing talent.

I will always read your stuff.

Very good work, as usual, look forward to your quality submissions, the CC scene was superbly done!

Your storys are boring...you've got no sack You gotta get out more and stop polluting Loving Wives with your ridiculous trash.

So sexy i couldn't wank for a week!

Boring and inept. "1*" !

You must have had to do a fair bit of research. I didn't think of her as a bad female character like one person commented. She was spoiled by her parents because they allowed her to have anything she wanted. She was addicted to anything. The bad or dark females were clearly the roommates. The main character was just misguided from birth. That's just my opinion. I read these stories mostly for the story itself the sex is simply a plus. Saying that this was a great story!

I echo all the positive comments. I am enjoying your stories which is the only requirement for me. They are well developed and entertaining and take us to different places. This is my second one so I will continue my entertainment. Thank You

Ron Wood - Old Marine Vet

Although this is well written the main problems I have with this story are that Susan gets away scotfree and that Peter is a loser.

Second point first, although he has great job and is relatively successful he has no one to share it with his wife humiliated him and broke his heart, his parents are dead and I guess he has few other family and from the way you wrote the end he has few friends in Nashville and his two best friends are miles away in New York. Not only that but while reading this I thought he might end up with Beth especially with her kissing him on the lips(no tongue?) but instead he's alone in Nashville a loser in love it just seemed like a wasted oppatunity.

Now why didn't he try to either get revenge or at least something out of the divorce? He has her by the balls with both pictures and a video not only that but he knows that her parents are loaded and there was no prenup so if he didn't want revenge at least hit her asshole father in the check book. Why then does he leave with only the rings a quick q&a session and an std.(she had fucked countlessen so there was noway she'd not pick up a nasty reminder) If he wanted revenge and you as the writtir didn't want him to resort to violence(rightly so)then why not have him post a copy of the sex video to everybody that he met at the parents little party afterall there would be noway for either her or her stuck up parents to avoid the humiliation of their friends, neighbours and peers seeing Susan have sex with some ginger prick. Also he works for Google why not have him post the video online have the website direct people to said video whenever you search her name? At least that way you know that the world can see what a nasty slut she is. Again it's a lost oppatunity to at least let him have some dignity instead he leaves the marriage with nothing but a lot of emotional baggage, two wasted years, ten to thirty thousand dollars out of pocket and a std. He also gets to live with knowledge that Sysan and her friends were literately laughing in his face the entire time he lived with them.

I'll end my rant now and say that I like your writting the details you put into it are great and you do flesh out your charters but this story just had too many problems for me not just because he was such a loser that he fled the state but that she learnt nothing and carried on business as usual and therefore I could only give it a three.

I think a story is good not only that case, if the characters are 100% sound people who do total exact and complying steps in the stories. The stories may be good if the main characters make smaller mistakes in the stories or they are not total succesful sound souls . Some posters would like Platon's ideas for the characters and for the authors and the smaller character mistake does not forgive to the Authors. Yes the total sound people may be 5% of the mankind, and some readers, posters claim such main characters in every stories . Yes this character lost his parents in his young ages, he was loser from that time. .........or the those posters think themselfs among the 100% sound people group????

isnt understood in the big city. TK U MLJ LV NV

Must be easy with practice. Damn cretin. The story? 3* .

he was lucky no std or worse. he should have made the old man pay.. both were sick humans. she a nympho and the father was her destroyer

Some of your characters were stereotypes (her father and his friends), but in a short story like this it can't be helped. Unlike other commenters, I don't think that there were all that many clues that she wouldn't change before he got married. True, she craved excitement, but excitement does not have to equal infidelity.

Harry was right on, he selected her by looks alone. When they got back from their honeymoon and the roomies didn't leave, that was a major clue he was in trouble.

Well done story, with minor quibbles about the legal aspects. In NY you can't serve your own papers. Also, her parents' fortune would not be touchable in divorce court, it belongs to them, not her. Any trust or other properties would be her own separate property, again not touchable. To make her (assumed) fortune community property, she would have had to sign it over to them both. So, the only community property would be what they earned during the marriage. What your separate property earns during a marriage is still separate.

That said, it can be costly defending your rights, so by not dragging it out he did her old man a favor.

5*

Regards

All your stories are well structured and well characterised with interesting twists that keeps you coming (!) back for more. Not necessarily erotic as such, but superbly well written ! Start building the plot to your full length novel, several of your stories could do it. Keep us informed as to your progress.

Kind regards, The English English Teacher.

I picked up another great piece of truism during the reread. That truism was uttered by Mickey before he set the young man up with the web site. Mickey had remarked that his new roommate wouldn't find a suitable woman in a bar or nightspot because the only thing they would have in common was alcohol. I did find a lovely woman in a nightclub/bar after my first marriage of 17 years had failed due to her cheating. I was new to dating when I found her and we started off partying and having fun. It was the one thing we had most in common the first year besides our love for each other. My new wife never could overcome that part of her life and has been an alcoholic ever since. No since boring you with the disadvantages of being married to an alcoholic for many years, even when you love them, but you get my drift why I think that advice is so true. However, finding a lovely woman on a website evidently can have it's disadvantages as well?

Nice tale, and well written...

Old Marine Vet

This was the latest in a series of good stories by this writer, good in a lot of ways. First of all they make sense, they're well written technically, and they arouse the reader's emotion.

This is a sort of true-life horror story. There are a lot of sites like that out there and you never know when you hook up via an on-line service, what you're getting. On the other hand, you never know what you're getting when you hook up with somebody you meet in a bar, or at work, or across a crowded room. People are mysteries, whether you're just meeting them or have been sitting across from them across a dining room table for 20 years. If there's one truism I hope I've expressed in my work, it's that you never have any guarantees in this life. You can be betrayed by someone you're dating, or your wife of 36 years. It's called life.

Secondly, the hero is guilty of nothing. He met a girl and fell in love. He trusted her. That's what most of us do. Unless you have serious problems, you don't walk around looking for reasons to mistrust the people closest to you. That's why honest people are so easy to screw. Should the roommates have sent up a red flag after they hung on post-marriage. Yes. But, it only proves the wife was a little weird, as well as hot and sexy and very loving.

Third, it's easy to hate the wife. She betrayed her husband and left scars that will take a long time to heal. On the other hand, she told the guy she had been spoiled rotten. When you're raised with absolute wealth and no limits and you can have absolutely anything you want, and you're gorgeous and hotter than hell, why shouldn't you think you can have anything you want - including guys to keep you company when hubby is away. I think the ending is spot on. She's not devastated after the divorce. I think she probably missed hubby, but SHE and nobody else is the center of her world. After hubby was gone she probably waited a little while, found good looking hot guys, had great sex, enjoyed wealth and a life most of us can only dream of, and she probably forgot hubby fair quickly. You can say all the bad things about her you want, but she's going to go on enjoying her life while you're bitching and moaning. And if she were a real person and she were aware of the readers, she simply wouldn't give a damn what they thought. Just like in real life.

As to the readers who demand - SOMEBODY MUST BE PUNISHED - I'd simply say, grow up. In real life women like this aren't punished. They go on to either have a lot of marriages or they finally settle down and make a good marriage and get even richer. Daddy should have been punished? Why? He is very rich and he loves his daughter. STRING HIM UP! The wife's friends? They're either wealthy in their own right or they're riding on her coattails. Again, happens a lot. And they didn't love the hero. Why should they derail their gravy train for a stranger?

So what you're left with in the end is a young man who went to the big city, got bruised and screwed over but walked away with his honor and morals intact. Sometimes nice guys don't end up well, but sometimes they do, and you have to hope that he'll meet one of the millions of young ladies who are decent to help him mend a broken heart. Again, happens every day.

I liked the story, I liked the hero. And you have to wonder, if someday he and his ex might meet up again. Rich spoiled girls, and guys, sometimes grow up. And sometimes they realize what they threw away. Probably not. But it's something to think about.

DQS

Not only does this story merit a second or even a third reading, I find more about it to enjoy each time. One of the best on the site.

Just a wonderful story and you just have to know that the ex will end up with aids and die. 5

Great writing, great plot. Way beyond the standard 2 dimensional short story! Great!

A fun and enjoyable read. The storyline was fascinating.

I like the optimism of DQS. A sequel with the two meeting years later would be a compelling story.

making beth change her opinion and uniting them

It just stuck with me, it has been 3 days since I read it and I'm still thinking about it, now that is a great story.

this was one of the better tales on this site. it was not over the hill on super

human sex and more true life. some women can not keep their panties on.

I almost passed on this tale because of the gays but you did not go over the

top on that.

It's been said that the best revenge is to live well, and frequently in real life that's the best you get. But in the realm of fiction there's satisfaction to be had from seeing the bad guy get what he deserves. Doesn't have to be violent or extreme, but something to let your reader go away with a feeling that there's justice in the universe. In this tale,it appears that everybody went back to where they were before the story started - no harm, no foul. Just a bit disappointing.

All that aside, I've read several of your stories, and am pleasantly surprised at the quality of the writing. Please keep it up!

I loved the story, the ending and your characterization of Mickey. Your protagonist went into the big league, played well, lost, learned a lot (of life lessons) and came back home. The journey you've let us be part of was great!

It's already been mentioned before, but a sequel to this would be amazing!

I realize this is not germane to the story, but bigger bedroom or not, there is NO WAY in a 3 room-mate situation where one pays 60%.

All things being equal they should each pay 1/3 or 33 1/3%. They share equally in the common spaces, he has the bigger bedroom, maybe bump his share to 40%.

But for him to pay THREE times what they're paying? (40% divided by 2, they're each paying only 20%) In the words of Judge Judy, "That's ridiculous!"

@KarenE

I encountered a situation exactly like you mentioned a few years back. A 3 bedroom house with a gigantic main bedroom plus bathroom en-suite, a small bedroom and a tiny box room converted to be a tiny little bedroom that was only twice the size of a single bed. The person who got the massive bedroom did pay 60% of the rent. Iv no idea how the rest of the rent was broken down as I zero interest in the tiny box room so asking about rent was redundant. While not the norm, what you posted about does happen.

I MIGHT buy the 60% in a situation like you just described, but that was much more extreme than the situation in the story.

In spite of the fact that I really liked this story, there was no pain for the whore. Zip. That family deserved pain, expected pain. I would not have let them down. You knew what Mr Devereaux hated and could have even given the money to some group he hated........just my take. Still, I really enjoyed your story.

Growing old in that lifestyle punishment enough. Vengeance is much overrated. Move on and enjoy your life.

Great story

Continuity error –"Very well, we should be able to have a complete report on her activities for you by tomorrow afternoon." – Since he wants to know what she does tomorrow NIGHT, a report by tomorrow AFTERNOON isn’t going to be much good!

Again, you have him going back to the agency the next afternoon.

His attitude confuses me, first we have: "So you have no actual proof of what went on in the room than night?", which implies doubts about her infidelity, despite how obvious it is, then we have: There were thirty-seven profiles on her computer, and I'll bet she fucked every one of them!", with no hope for reconciliation.

Why the ambivalence about viewing the CD? If there is no hope for the marriage, what’s it going to hurt?

“I went directly up to Susan, and as she looked up at me with tears streaming down her face, I handed her a copy of my petition for divorce.” – I understand that she is a “wild child”, but if he means so much to her that his divorcing her drives her to tears, WHY THE FUCK did she cheat on him?

I THINK I understand her reasons, but then why the tears over the break-up, there is NO way he could have meant that much to her, hell, she even wants to CONTINUE playing around and is even willing to SHARE him with her room-mates! And on a similar note, let's say he DID agree to stay - what if HE wanted to stay on EyeContact, and play with more than just Missy and Briana, how would she feel about THAT?

And I know it's a cliche on LW, but I'd like to see an epilog where she winds up lonely and alone, with even Missy and Briana moving on to happy marriages!

Settlement - I'm of two minds here: One side likes him taking the moral high ground and saying, "Fuck the money!", but the other side says that money is all they understand, and she/they should pay SOME price for her betrayal.

@ParPlus10 Re: Siskel and Ebert - I disagree with your opinion of them. One of the things I always liked about them was their ability to judge a movie for what it was. If I'm not mistaken they both gave "Thumbs Up" to "Animal House", where most critics, if they deigned to review it at all, would put it down because it didn't meet their standards of Great Cinema, while S & E could see what it was and what it was trying to do, and review it on that basis.

I think you write beautifully. One of the great things about writing for free is that you get to choose the plot and the outcome. I liked the no nonsense not over the top rendition. it was a realistic and apt approach. As to susan not getting her comeuppance, of course she did. she was rejected and for once did not get her own way.

Well done and thanks for all of your stories.

I went a different route, however. Once I found my wife of only 2 years who swore she was ready to start our family and made a big deal of flushing her birth control pills was cheating, I was done. There was no reason to ever see her again. My life was in ruin when I saw the pictures her old room mate gave me, I'd always liked Karen and she liked me. Having been married to a cheater, she didn't like what she found my wife was doing. My wife was obviously enjoying her ex-boyfriends cock in his back seat while he pounded his sperm into her.

Marybeth was at work when Karen stopped by. Before she came home, I had already blown the pictures up to 11x14", I'm a photographer, and hung them around the house we were in negotiations to buy. I packed up everything that was mine, stopped by the bank and took out one penny less than 50%, then drove away from my life. She could have everything. Marybeth made slightly more each year than I made and I left my lawyer with all the papers needed to handle things in my behalf. My company had a transfer available, although it wasn't for 45 days. I drove from Charlottesville to Denver and spent the 6 weeks searching for a new home.

Karen stayed in contact with me. It seemed Marybeth wasn't taking being left very well. She had been hospitalized, sent home, had a botched suicide attempt when the papers of dissolution were served to her, then hospitalized again. Marybeth swore she would find me and make it all good, refusing to sign the papers. She was advised by everyone to sign, but repeatedly refused. I had stopped the home negotiations and the owner had another interested party so I advised him to go ahead with them. Because of that, Marybeth was evicted from what she thought would be our dream home, moving back in with her parents.

She found me but thankfully it took 14 months before showing up on my doorstep. My neighbors turned out to be wonderful folks and they were just little older than me. Jonna was 7 months pregnant when she agreed to help me when I received an email from Karen. It really worked out perfectly. Jerry was worried, the husband, but I swore she would be safe. Karen let me know Marybeth knew my address and would be flying into Denver that afternoon.

I acted surprised when Marybeth knocked on my door, but I let her in. She swore it was all a mistake and she would do anything to make it up to me, if only I'd let her back into my life. In retrospect, she was pitiful, but I needed to have her totally out of my life. After exactly sixty minutes, while I was seated in the living room listening to my soon to be ex, we heard keys in the door, then someone step inside. It was Jonna and she sang out, "Hi honey, I'm home!" When she walked into my large living room with a bag of groceries and a big pregnant stomach, I thought Marybeth would faint dead away. She was devastated. Her ranting and raving were almost demented and I asked her to leave and when she got home to sign the papers. The door almost fell off after how hard it was slammed. I thanked Jonna profusely for her help.

A week later my lawyer called and let me know she had signed and he had filed the papers in court. I had to wait 4 months before I received the papers in the mail, showing I was a free man. After contacting Karen, I didn't expect what she did, but it shouldn't have surprised me. She immediately contacted my now ex-wife and told her the whole story, I was living alone and the woman had been a friend helping me out with the okay of her husband. Marybeth was devastated yet again and she began looking for me once again. That time, I didn't open my door and while she stalked me for a while, a restraining order stopped her.

I am now remarried and yes, after 4 years, my wife is now 7 months pregnant. Marybeth? Karen said she turned to slutting around and I was well off without her.

Still five stars. Love the ending with him just on a random date. You did well avoiding the formula tic ending where he finds Mrs. Right and lives happily ever after.

Thank you for your efforts, and thank God for giving you this talent and for allowing me the privilege to read your stories.

Horrible ending. No revenge on the fucking slutty scumbag. 1/5

Another slice of someone's life. Interesting read.

I'm sure life will catch up with Susan soon enough, but then, she has daddy and his wealth and influence to fall back on, so she will still do ok ..... In her own way she was an addict and the excitement of first dates was her drug. I would have thought meeting a guy who tried so hard to make every occasion fresh and exciting would calm her down, but no.

How about that dvd ? I would have wanted to know what was on it, especially after Beth advised me not to view ! !

Good story .... 5*

the bitch didn't pay. fuck it.

Great story. Loved the way he became so close to his roommates.

Story is well written and interesting plot but I'm sorry but Susan getting totally off - ain't right! No lessons learned, no morality, no real revenge, just a cuck escaping with pain. At least get him a $million to give daddy some pain and maybe then daddy will send her to a shrink; Susan remains in her spoiled rich-bitch syndrome.

This story was perfect. Revenge would be a waste of time. It wouldn't even touch her. Daddy would pay for his princess and she would learn nothing. 'Cause she was born (or raised) that way. He was well rid of her with his (Southern) honor intact. Perfect.

At very least give her father the video

Susan just walked away. Didn't feel like the right thing. The whole story was just uncomfortable. Nothing seemed to fit and that led to the story failing to entertain.

Loved the story. Loved Peter's connection with his roommates, which goes to show that people, however different they may seem, are just people.

Just a quibble, but I would have liked to have heard a little more explanation as to why Susan dated him for so long and eventually married him, given that she was addicted to first-time meetings with different men.

Also - as a response to all those folks who felt Peter should have gotten a big settlement from Susan's family - keep in mind that they were only married a year. In NY, "marital property" would basically only include that property acquired by the parties during the marriage. Peter would have absolutely no legal claim on the Devereaux family money. And, since he was the one who filed for (and wanted) the divorce, he wasn't in a position to extort money from them in exchange for agreeing to the divorce.

Again, good story. Thanks, FM.