All Comments on 'Break-Up Songs'

I had noticed several years ago that my playlists had far more 'cryin' songs than happy ones, and even my wife noticed my recent purchases have tended to be a bit 'angsty' in her words. (It might have been me playing Theory Of A Deadman's 'Me and My Girl' three times in a row ...) Whatever the case, it seems I feel more moved by the break-up songs than the hearts&butterflies ones.

This will be my 22nd year of marriage, and I still love my wife very much. In the last year we have become closer, becoming more 'in-love' than we had been for a while (the cliche of married complacency is all too true, though we never fell into the extreme/dangerous end, just got used to each other & stopped showing it as much.) My life is great ... but I still love the sad songs.

You have done a better job examining your own feelings, spelling out your thoughts - now that you've shared them I can see some things I had not expressed even to myself yet. I can add only one item, that maybe these songs ring truer because the happy songs are unable to capture the giddy nature of love, while the cryin' songs CAN make us feel the hurting. The old saying "It's easier to destroy than to build" may be true for our feelings, too.

I'm glad to hear you remain positive on love and the search for another to share it with you. Best wishes in your search, and thank you vary much for writing this piece. Aloha!

TH in Germany

Let's face it, when we are happy in love, we live in that state. Our minds, emotions, and hearts are poured out to the object of that love. Our heads swim with joy. We smile. I don't think this is a formula for great art. :)

In pain, we obsess, hurt, and need to pour out our feelings, yet the object of our intensity is alienated from us in some way... so out it pours into art.

The happy songs are there, but most of us hate to admit that we like them,even when we find ourselves singing along, or smiling alone in the car at the thought of our love.

When we are in love, our intensity is poured out into our lovemaking, our affection, our kind deeds- all given to our lover.

There are songs about the wonderful day- to- dayness of life, but, like happy songs, they aren't the ones we remember, or admit to loving.

Being "in love" is a short window of time for the most part. But the pain of life, even when we have a lover, is ever- present. Those sad songs help us process. Like you said Hooligan, they remind us that we are not alone in our pain, and that we can survive.

You have given us a thought provoking piece here. Thank You.

Like the previous commenter, i hope you find what you are looking for, and i hope that once you do, you press on, even when said stiletto is firmly in place. Good luck, from someone who can handle only a certain amount of song induced pain. ;)