by Boxlicker101
This is a great story - after reading the first part I was very glad to see it was recent, and had a chance of being continued. I really enoyed the writing style, the descriptions are a pleasure to read. I look forward to further installments!
Perhaps it needs a tweak. Brenda is ravishing and voluptuous so how come nobody cares that she has disappeared. Perhaps it would be better if she was a feisty but average looker, then of course she could be submissive as a result of never attracting attention until becoming a ponygirl. The conflict of emotions within her would then be very readable. I always find that reading about a character that is less than perfect in a mans eye makes the story more believable. The degradation and humiliation that Brenda feels then makes her more appreciative of the attention she actually is receiving, makes her stronger.