All Comments on 'Cabin Fun'

HOT, SEXY and Naughty!!

Great story but ... you would make it so much better if you submitted it to an editor on this site. Example ... "he also had his fingers deep in my pussy Bill was a pro at this he knew what he was doing next thing I start moaning loudly Bill removes his fingers and rubs my clit and I explode."

Needs sentence structure ...

I Liked

Yes it could use an editor and a bit more structure, but the last time I checked this wasn't the literary guild. I come here to read hot sexy stories, and that is what this was. It brought back some very fond memories of the first time I was with two men. God that was fun! So Sexiskye.... keep up the great work. Listen and learn from your critics but don't take them to heart... Ignore the haters (there are always a few of them)nothing you can do will make them happy. Just write what you would like to read and you will do fine.

Just wanted to say thank you for all the comments so far. I enjoy writing do I don't think much will stop me. Other then my laptop being fixed right now lol.

But thank you for reading and will get an editor next time.3rd story so I get nervous

Your English needs work. Even your very first sentence was a run-on. Also not enough getting to know the characters before they get into it; it came off as a typical porno where the housewife and the plumber start fucking for NO REASON.

Sorry if this is discouraging; there's plenty of potential for a great story here, keep working at it!