All Comments on 'Closer Ch. 03'

I could see from the beginning that you had raw talent, and only needed a little editing help to let it shine. I was right.

Not bad at all but Mackenzie is really starting to work on my last nerve. Dont know how much more of her I can take. No and no means no. She is actually dragging the story but I wont hold that against you. Lol... Cat

I loathe McKenzie. The only way she gonna get and keep Justin is if she blackmails him and drugs him and although he has the ability to be a dumbass I can't see that happening.

Mackenzie is an obsessed stalker. She needs to get some professional help. Crazy bitch. But I love Justin and Kim together. You are a really great writer.

I love the chemistry between Justin and Kim. As for Mackenzie, the b**ch is jealous with envy.

This is concerning all the comments dissing Mackenzie. She is not crazy, AND she is not a bitch. She is like the best character in this story and Kim does not deserve Justin. Kim's a slut. Honestly, who the fuck has sex on a swing and in the library. I mean I know Justin has his moments where he's an a-hole but Kim is jus a poor little whore who'll end up like her mom when he leaves for college. He's wasting his time with her. Besides he and Mackenzie are destined to be together. HELLO they're going to the same college. Kim should end up with John and Mackenzie should be with Justin. Kim just disgust me. Did you write Kim's character just to piss me off? You have too much talent to be wasting your time writing a character like Kim. Face it people all she does is bitch, complain, cry and whine and abuse Justin. Is everyone forgetting that she slapped the shit out of him? The nerve of that bitch! Oh and she totally caught an uncalled for attitude with Mackenzie in that bathroom. Mackenzie was just telling the truth. Justin belongs with her. Anyone who wants to reply to my comment can bring it becuz this is just my opinion and of course since I am a princess my opinion is the only right one.

You are HILLARIOUS!..... too bad you're delusional as well

Dude, R u serious?

This story is soo fucking hot. I'm so happy that Kim didn't just forgive him and i was soooo proud when she slapped him. Oh and to that Mackenzie comment i just have to ask..ARE YOU ON DRUGS?

Mackenzie IS such a slut. I love Kim and Justin together.

Is she dangerous...she has a nerve to call Kim a slut, ho, etc when she is the one that has been open like 7 11. She got a lot of nerve.

As for John, what in the hell is his problem why would he do what he is doing for that ho...he makes me sick too.

I am glad that Justin listened to his stepfather and told Kim that he loved her and of course she admitted that she loved him too.

Thanks for a great read and I can't wait to read what happens next...because the ho is still scheming to get her man the idiot.

To the bitch who wrote about amazing Mackenzie is can really suck my clit and that's all the attention i'm going to pay to yo--

moving on, this story was HOT DAMN!!!!!!!!!!! I cannot explain how happy I was when I came on here today to find out that this story was updated!!! I'm SOOO glad that Kim slapped Justin because I would've punched him until I saw blood and I'm not playing. After he took my virginity and made me walk TWO HOURS HOME? Wow, Justin is lucky that I wasn't the girl. Anyway, keep up the great work!

ps - everytime I read this story, i think about Justin Timberlake being the white boy lol. anyone with me or is that just me??

good job

Justin does kinda remind me of Justin Timberlake. Lol I thought I was the only one

Love this story, I adore Kim and Justin characters, they are so different but somehow they work just because they are so different, I can't wait to see what the future holds for KIM. For the person who said Mackenzie isn't that bad, WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM AND ARE YOU READING THE SAME STORY?!!! Mackenzie is a racist, snobby, vain, criminal (she drugged Kim) pompous bitch who needs a hint, a clue and grow a functional brain because her so called upper class and status doesn't seem to keep her off her back or with her mouth open for any random guy she is just a slut who doesn't get paid. Why would Justin fall for that! Like I said Team KIM

OK -- To the author -- Enjoying the story & can't wait to see the rest.

Now on to "The Princess". First -- REALITY CHECK - if you need to scheme, drug, and plot to make someone bend to your will -- that's on the lines of CRAZY!!! Two - It is illigeal and you're princess ass would be in J-A-I-L if you are caught so if you are thinking Mac is on the right track --GET HELP/. Third - so far sleeping with one person still does not make a person a slut. Sleeping with many because its fun -- that is a slut no matter how white & pretty you THINK you are princess.

Let be real -- you got the attutide (as many do) that since Kim is black and Mac is white -- Mac should win. REALITY CHECK -- it doesn't work that way because the look on the inside doesn't change!!!

If you have seen a part of yourself in that character less we all suggest a look into professional help or a good lawyer on retainer because if you think you could get awaay with these anatics -- look for alittle jail time.

Lakergirl

i know high school is a bitch, but ill glad i never got to meet girls like this except when i see them on tv. i wonder whats going to happen? high school doesnt last forever. will kim and justin??

loves company and so does Mackenzie. Waiting for John to come clean and Justin will be ready to beat the crap out of him as will Kim.

Well, I noticed that this story rec'd high ratings so I hoped that I would also enjoy it and I did not. Does that mean I hate the writer or would want to disrespect them in some way? No. Too many Lit commentators think negative feedback equals obnoxious, offensive messages. I think comments should only include what you would say to the person's face.

In that vein, I tried to pinpoint my issue w/the story (characters mostly) and it is definitely the believability of the characters actions & motivations. I can't swallow a best friend of 10 years or so would hang out w/others who bad mouth said friend.

This same best frind lets the woman he loves set off on a 2 hr walk home to & thru bad neighborhoods. What???

And, John...no info or rationale is offered as to why he is Mackenzie's Igor.

It is not explained how they come to be attending the same school.

That's why I didn't like it and I regularly read to chapter 3 before deciding whether or not to cast a low rating, so I didn't select "one star", I just didn't vote.

Lastly, the writer should continue writing they clearly have skills w/storytelling just need to consider characterization and how that should be reflected in actions/thoughts & emotional content.

All the best!