All Comments on 'Coffee Break'

You seem to have created your own private universe. Since I'm not a part of it, I couldn't ever get into the story. A good story is one that draws you in, and this one worked hard to prevent that from happening.

Wow, Heidi's even more fucked up than Kylie.

I think you should have written a story about how she first realized she had the power and how she came to decide on how to use it before writing the story of her punishing someone. It was an ok read but hard to completely understand. Overall you're a good writer, aside from a few spelling and punctuation errors. I look forward to seeing more from you. Thanks for your time.

1. Jeez, overreaction much? Someone needs to explain to Heidi the idea of the punishment fitting the crime.

2. I second the request for a prequel/origin story

3. Dammit I HATE when time-stop stories ignore the existence of AIR (i.e. if you stopped time for the entire universe except yourself then the air would also be frozen, preventing you from moving or breathing). All you had to do was put in a couple of lines inventing some aspect of the "magic" that accounted for this (like how the Star Trek writers invented "Heisenburg Compensators" to fill the plot hole of how the Heisenburg Uncertainty Principle should have prevented the transporter from taking a perfect scan of something) and I would have been happy.

These are nitpicks though; I still gave this story a 4.

Is there some link between king wesley and chrystal wynd? This story is really close to "black coffee" but not nearly as good. And one of the bimbo stories, also chrystal wynds trademark, even mentions Chrystal Heights, which is C.W.'s trademark town. What's going on here? I am an avid reader of LIT and bdsm library, and a budding writer myself. I invite readers and authors to contact me.

So she's now permanently a lesbian?

This is one of my fav stories. When you get a chance I would love for you to write another one about Heidi and the two lesbians or just heidi doing something like this again

Brilliant. There is a minority of people who deserve to be treated like that rude woman

Have to say I don’t often see stories on this site with a mic pretty ribbon around the ending so it’s nice to see a happy ending on one of these. Really well done really hot scenes and well written.

Great story, amazing creative mind you have, highly erotic story, mind blowing, thank you

That was stupid....