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I was waiting in place for my next target, trying to figure out how she managed to track me down when she appeared again. That's when it occurred to me that when Psyche mentioned "undying love," she really meant it.
Psyche was now Immortal.
Somehow, she had managed to get her hands on some ambrosia. With the Food of the Gods comes their powers, not the least of which is the ability to home in on any one of the other Immortals at any given time.
Venus denies hooking her up with the shit. Yeah, mom. Sure.
Anyhow, the crazy chick followed me around for a couple of months, solid. I was forced to rush my jobs. I began to get sloppy and fuck up the lives of some relatively decent people. She wouldn't let me eat, sleep or think in peace.
I finally gave up and went underground.
Literally.
I packed up and paid a visit to my great uncle in the Underworld. Pluto is really a pretty fun guy and his realm is off limits to even the other Gods, when he so wishes it to be. (His wife is a little "off" though, if you know what I mean. And she really has a thing for pomegranates.) I convinced him to let me hide out for a couple of months. Closer to 6, actually, but he has hi-def cable and every sport package imaginable. I was in no hurry to leave.
Psyche did her best to gain admittance. She went so far as to offer to blow Charon in return for a ferry ride across the river, but lucky for me, dead guys are pretty resistant to her trashy charms.
Eventually, I got a message from Jupiter, Himself, ordering me to return to my duties. Apparently, the porn industry was suffering greatly from my absence and I needed to get back to work before there were some serious economic repercussions.
That was a few days ago, but unsurprisingly, Psyche was waiting for me at the gates. I charged past her and have managed to avoid a confrontation by outrunning her, but I really need to get back to work. I was told that Justicia's people can take care of just about anything in the legal arena.
That's why I'm here, filing for this restraining order.
It's a good thing too, because the crazy whore is getting more desperate. She follows me everywhere now. I even saw her ducking into a room down the hallway as I came into the building.
Which one? The third door on the right, just as you enter.
What?
No... you have GOT to be shitting me...
The Office of Child Support Enforcement?
- COMMENTS
thedemonIxover 7 years agoAnd demons dont laugh to the point of urination...
Very good story... Nicely done...
Anonymousalmost 13 years agoI just loved this, I quite like the old pagan myths and your writing was superb. That ending is too funny for me to properly describe, and I think we all learned a lesson about dabbling with aphrodesiacs here. A truly remarkable description of Psyche there, my pants feel a size to small. Bravo!
Anonymousabout 14 years agoThat is the most hilarious work of erotic satire I've ever read. In fact, it's on my top ten list of satire, period, and when you consider the fact that you're now counted amongst the ranks of Swift, Twain, and Pratchett... well, you understand how much I loved this little piece.
Yrs,
Kieranfoy.
GravityLifealmost 15 years agoWOW!!! Did not expect this story to be that entertaining but it was absolutely pure fun, sexy, lustful enjoyment. The description of Psyche was to die for and Cupid's tone and personality totally made the story. Great Job!!!!!
