Cynthia's Affair Ch. 01

"Now, it just may be that he is preoccupied, inundated with work, worried about his job -- any number of rational causes for his seeming lack of caring. Again, this is not uncommon, and many women find themselves in what are commonly referred to as "loveless" marriages. Frankly, most of the time, the lack of interest and demonstrated affection is a mutual thing and both husband and wife are just as happy to settle down to a comfortable, companionable relationship, held together by inertia, children, grandchildren and shared memories. The problem arises, as with you, when either party wants more than the other can, or will, give. That is the problem we must address.

"From what you've said, you have made real efforts, without success, to elicit signs of affection from your husband. Under the circumstances, Mr. Silkin's one alternative, that you learn to live with it, is the path that most women take. They sublimate their desire for affection and romance, accepting security and comfort as replacement for the more sensual pleasures. Divorce, of course, is theoretically another choice, but, as you said, you have no interest in that alternative. Now, Mr. Silkin is a marriage counselor, trained to mediate damaged marriages. That limits the proposals he can make. I, on the other hand, am a sex therapist, concerned with my client's mental and physical health. I want to find a way to help you, to find a way to solve your problem, not worrying about your husband's situation or the marriage itself. Obviously, your problem is best handled by preserving your marriage, but only in the context of your happiness. Therefore, I have to suggest another option, a possibly dangerous one, but one that I have proposed to other women in similar situations and with considerable success. It may sound immoral, or unethical, but I would like you to consider the possibility of having an affair."

Cynthia gasped and started to speak, but Dr. Butler went on, "Wait, I know that the idea of an affair, adultery if it is with a man, is hard to accept, but it could solve your problem. Understand, I'm not talking about a classic love affair where you run off together. No, I want you to consider a liaison with another person, exchanging affection and enjoying each other's company, as an adjunct to your marriage. Understand, finding such a person may be difficult, perhaps impossible. There is the danger of getting in too deep and ruining your marriage because you do want to run off together. You might be caught, your indiscretion revealed to your husband or, worse, to the public. In other word, there are real problems and dangers, but, it has worked for other women, actually saving their marriages by providing an outlet for their natural desires, desires that were not being met at home. Let's leave it at that for now. Go home, think about the potential risks and benefits, and see me next week."

The one thing that Cynthia had not revealed to Dr. Butler was the fact that she already had speculated on having an affair. Before, however, the thought had been merely that, speculation, with no serious intent to follow through. Now, with professional support behind the idea, it became more real, more serious -- and more frightening! This was going to take some careful evaluation to answer some very significant questions -- did she really want someone else, who would it be, how would she go about it, what would the effect be on her marriage, could she keep the affair separate from the marriage, did the morality issue bother her? These and a multitude of other issues inundated her. As she discovered, the fantasy of an affair and the reality of having one were two very different things. This was going to take very serious thought!