All Comments on 'Daddy Walked In Ch. 02'

by JELB_42

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  • 8 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
lots of mistakes

Is english your native language? You have a LOT of spelling and grammar errors. You will definately benefit from proof reading before you post a story. Errors strongly take away from ones enjoyment of a story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
blech!

DD breasts? 12" cock? just when is your 15th birthday?

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
. PLEASE STOP

`

Look, I've asked nicely, (well, nicely enough), but PLEASE STOP submitting. You are obviously seriously under age, and this stuff is absolute CRAP.

And what the hell is "pasted"? Please, please don't tell me you mean "passed"!

Now, for fuck's sake - go away and grow up. Or die - at this point I'm not really fussed, and if you'll read the majority of your feedback, you'll see that almost everyone else would be glad never to see another of your purile attempts.

Bye now. Have a nice (short) life!

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
It has potential

I think you have potential, you need to spell check your work, and think about adding more thoughts. Take your time and hang in there writting isn't easy.

AnonymousAnonymousover 17 years ago
Still too short and stilted

Although not a bad start, your story is too short, not detailed enough, and rough in language. Also, use some common sense for reality. DD breast and 12" cocks aren't normal realite and make your stories unbelievable. Try to spend more time and planning if you want to get and keeper a readers interest.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
stop and think

come down to earth, DD tits and 12 inch cock, what you thinking, speling is bad and grammer not correct

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
be nice now...

the story was alright. and although i agree that his writing skills could use some improvement, it wasnt totally terrible. stop saying DD breasts and 12" dicks are real because actually i have DD breasts and my boyfriend has a 12" dick... so... its possible.

anyways. keep writing and you'll get better.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
learn to spell

the story was ok work on spelling

Anonymous
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