All Comments on 'Daphne was Taken Totally'

I loved the fact that she was discovered and remorseful (what an idiot she was). But she got away without any punishment for betraying her family so completely-her husband just accepted it. That was rather unsatisfying because she needed to feel enough pain to avoid doing it again. At the end I wondered whether any reasonably intelligent family member could ever trust her in future.

very good build up and then... puff.... what a let down,,,

Right?

Surely this was done it jest.....right!?!?

It would take a great deal more than 3 months to return to anything even resembling normal, if ever. She may pull the marriage out of the fire, but it would be a long, anguishing path. Once trust is destroyed with betrayal of this magnitude, it can never be fully restored.

Just another lying whore story

and you devote the last few, short paragraphs to his forgiving her. You need to work on your character development. You have the slut down pat, but failed in developing the husband as a human being. She does not, did not, love him. Yet he takes her back. Right. Hell must have frozen over because you sure as heck failed to set up any good reason to take her back. She humiliated him and cheated him, and had no respect for him. Why would he take her back. You wrote no legitimate character development to make that possible. Oh, boo hoo. She cries and he gives in. Not a chance. This is just an excuse to write unerotic sex scenes. Boring.

But mostly wasted and it's sad.

It's like you just gave up at the end?

Better than a lot of QW works ... except ending! The downturn started with the 'nephew/gigolo' - it had been too fast in development before, it became hyperfast! Then the recognition and resignation. Too good a job had been done on her rationalizations. She would have been, I believe, slower in recognizing her errors. Hubby was NOT well-developed, but his willingness to reconcile was very unrealistic. He MIGHT have taken the kids back to help save her sanity, but a lLOT of the story would be in their adjustment to the poisoned relationship and a vastly different dynamic!

3*

AND STICK TO IT!

I agree with jejazz, there was potential here but it was wasted. I think the whole story happened too quickly. The seduction needed to take longer and the discovery of the infidelity by the husband was too soon. And there ought to have been some fallout if not revenge.

had plenty of potential but missed the mark by a lot. Oh, PM is after noontime not morning.

I am so dissatified with this story. I hate it when authors spend so much of the story on the infidelity and then sum up the reconciliation in two or three paragraphs. Then they wonder why their ratings are so low. That is why people have such a bad taste for reconciliation. It seems so unnatural. it is an afterthought in the story, when it should be just as much of the focus as the infidelity. This type of story leaves a bad taste in the people's mouth who actually like reconciliations.

Previous comments pretty much hit it on the head.

Don't know why Malky would want the cheating whore back. She is nothing but used damaged goods full of other men's cum and probably knocked up by one of them. The world would be better off if the cunt died of AIDS and Malky too since he's dumb enough to take her back. But then maybe he like eating her stretched out fuck hole full of another mans sperm. Not even worth one star

After 3 pages of bitchdom, Malky(?) takes her back inside of a sentence? Dumb. Others have rightly told you to mind your POV, but your command of the English language is laughable.

"I am married, and have been for the last 9 years to my husband,"...but before that I was married, just not to my husband. Dumb.

"My legs taper in a straight line" You don't know what the word taper means, do you?

"she laid the blame for that at Malky's door for being so intransigent" What was Malky intransigent about? Do you know what intransigent means?

"Ready by 1.30 she prepared to meet her detractors, namely Mr Cunningham and Daniel." Her 'detractors?' How were they her detractors?

Just stop.

you should have tidied the story up by noting that she and Malky passed their STD tests. Also, since there were probably tapes of her actions, you could have written that they called to threaten her unless she returned, but she called their bluff as their games and payoffs would have come to light as well, and so they backed off.

All the detail and then you end it in a single breathe? This has to rank up there with one of the epic failed endings of all time. Just awful. Can I vote zero?

Change?

All forgiven because women are basically stupid cattle incapable of thinking for themselves or taking responsibility for their actions. How about some of your female characters saying no? I know, story will be too short and the cuck fantasy would lose out...

her former company and make them pay her for sexual harassment Im talking him sue for that and destroying his marriage he should divorce her doesn't mean he cant collect a cpl million from her former company and still keep her around as a nanny to their kids he could even fuck her occasionally but now after what shes done he is or should be independently wealthly enough to also have other ladies to fuck and if he did what could his bitch of a wife say anyway after fucking her boss his boss and his bosses nephew plus what a few clients id say they made money off her so that cpl million they have to give hubby for fucking up his marriage and his kids lives is fair compensation 0 now 5 when you correct your mistakes in writing how hubby responds to his cheating whore of a wife

The ending sucked and appeared to be rushed. Oh well.

You should write another chapter? where the husband sue her ex-company for mega-bucks!!!

Learn it. Your writing will improve a LOT.

No real ending, No plot, A part 2 where the bad guys were held accountable and a bit of payback would be in order. No person would simply tolerate and forgive their partner for that!

But there is no excuse for putting this crap on the Internet. The point of view continually changed, sometimes in the middle of a sentence, the main character is a secretary and makes more money than her husband. The sex sounded more comical than erotic and the internal monologue was truly bizarre. Please don't write anything else. Ever.

I won't be as needlessly harsh as the other commenters, but this was really a huge disappointment. I have been a past fan and won't shy away from your future submissions as a result of this piece, but it is so utterly short of your past performance as to be startling. Please take the time in the future to return to the quality I have come to expect from you. I will put this off to aberrant solar activity, a rift in the Force, or monthly cyclical interference. Please do not disappoint again.

You ended the long tale with several short paragraphs that showed Malky totally accepting what had gone on in the past. No emotional release. The promise of a good story was short circuited.

patillie

Not every story has to have a burn-the-bitch ending. This story was going along the predictable escalation route to a gangbang and BTB. I found this ending refreshing. My only criticism is that it was a bit abrupt. Maybe because you never really let us know how Malky was feeling or what he was thinking as her sexual activities--time away from home became more of a problem. Kudos.

was too abrupt. The story needs to be longer.

Three and half pages on her forgetting about her family, half a page on the poor schmuck that takes her back. Hardly appropriate. When does he get a say, or is he as worthless as she says? If your going to spend time on the setup you need to spend time on the finish. Not to bad until the 3rd to 4th page. Keep writing, Good luck.

Did not need a BTB ending, but it really needed an ending. It really just ended with everything "forgiven" no wait nothing was forgiven or resolved. She is just unemployed with an extra 100k in her account. Nothing learned, nothing done, sorry you really need to find a way to properly end this.

She is a whore, slut

Malky is a wimp

1*

Lady, you are one sorry sick fuck.

Just bad writing.

I think the author needs a editor. As the story had all the ingredients for a good plot. Cheating wife, powerful bosses, company facilitator ( whore), loving husband, loving children, corporate environment, money & wealth, deceitful boss etc.

One suggestion for the husband character, as he is a house husband he would meet fellow house wife's at the school gates. So one or some could have been former solicitors or barristers. Maybe their husband's were or could be in jobs were they could have looked into the dealings of the wife's company and know of the managers who were manipulating her.

Husband could have joined a local top gym, got buff taken kick boxing classes while the children were at school. He could have formed relationships with women at the gym who want his wife to fail !

So many possibilities !

@ TornadoTys The Author is not Revenge Story Writer! The Hungarian Joke: The male hedgehog get off from a washing brush and told himself, "Errare Humanum Est or To make Mistakes to be Human Attribute!".

Mulky more than proved her right. He is a cum-slurping wimp.

It's not that the ending is so abrupt it's her change from sex crazed submissive slut to co-housewife. Also as an American I was thrown by the use of a "." instead of a "," as a thousands separator and thought she was way underpaid for her "work".

OK, so Malky was a wimp, a sissy, not a real man, etc. for 3 1/2 pages. Then he finds out and all of a sudden she loves him with all of her heart and can't live without him? Really???? Yikes. I give her 2 weeks max before she's stripped and spread with Daniel's cock up her cunt.

Not believable

Bullshit

THAT was redeeming herself?

She willingly betrays her husband and children over and over and over.

The cheating cunt whored herself out loving every minute of it.

Then resigns and punches her boss.

All of a sudden she is no longer a cheating cunt.

Such bullshite

Why didn't you have the husband apologizing for his terrible behavour of leaving her? Beg her to take him back since after all her whoring around, she did resign after all.

Sounds stupid doesn't it?

Well guess what, not nearly as stupid as your waste of space story you pathetic prat.

. . . the ending was terribly rushed. Could have been much better, but you blew it at the ending. I'll give you three stars for the effort.

This tale is pure crap at its finest.

Complete trash and waste of time.

This writer must be a complete freaking retard to write something so stupid pathetic nonsense like this lame story.

1* for this crap.

I'm sorry, but this may be your worst attempt at a story, and you've had.some stinkers.

I wish the truth were more often like this; but it seldom, if ever, is.

How the hell did she reedeem herself? Got lazy and rushed the ending.

Did she redeem herself? Most of the story was whore being a whore only for the husband to take her back and pretty much straight away, really?! Dont write anymore loving wives stories please

Sure, OK, Why Not?

He doesn't have anything to lose, except custody of his children. And if he is stupid enough to trust this slut he deserves whatever shit gets dumped on him. Darwin laughs.

Well that was certainly misleading and dumber than a Trump fan sniffing his outhouse odor's.

he needs to make her sign a post-nup

“B-but baby I can change!!” Lmfao what a retard, no wonder she doesn’t respect him

What exactly did she do to redeem herself? Quit her job and said she was sorry?

Sorry, not buying it.

Bullshit

Were that it was so easy. Not! So she just shows contrition, and he is supposed to accept and a mere 90 days later, everything is okay? The story is written for an alternate universe. Did the money make her a whore? Well..... yeah… Kind of, morally if not technically. Not much respect for the husband, for certain. Their domestic arrangement would have needed serious review and revision to work going forward. Just reversing the house spouse vs. breadwinner roles doesn't make a story. Sorry.