by sexyR2
This is my first submission. While I thought that it was fairly good, I am rather shocked at the rating. I figured high "3"s as opposed to low-mid "3"s. Tell me about why you feel you rated it as you did. I was going to make it a series, but don't want to waste the readers time if you feel that it is sup-par...
The author...
SexyR2,
I can only speak for myself. I feel there was plenty of potential in the story, but it was a little racy. I think you might benefit by making more out of the emotions experienced by Debbie so that we buy into her story. It would also serve to slow it down. At present, it is too unfeeling.
I would like you to continue with the story and try to develop the emotional content. I guess it is one of the challenges of writing erotic stories.
JC
Hi sexyR2
I agree with the previous comment about the story lacking a bit emotions. I gave you 4 stars for this story as I think your storyline is great. But for me to give you 5 stars I need to get more under the skin of Debbie.
You got me hooked instantly. You do need to continue this one for me... please!
This one starts fast, which can be a good thing, and there is something to be said for not getting too bogged down in details. BUT, take your time on the sex and make us feel for Debbie. Keep going, it's a good start.
It was a great story, until the ending. I would have found it a million times sexier if the ending had been reversed. If she had woken unsure of what was to come and had found a happy and wonderful man in her shower, ready to be her master but so much more as well, that would have been a sexy ending.
Just my opinion.