by fairlyagilex
its 'staring' not 'starring'
'woman' not 'women'
apart from little mishaps like that every things fine.
How in the world did I miss this story?
Yes it is too short but well worth the wait for updates :)
this has been the longest chap yet..everyone needs to relax. so far so good, give us more soon loving this
I can see you're trying, and I'm fronting you one more five, but I really hope you get that editor and spend more time on this story. I'm sure you have it in you to turn this into something really good.
i just read all three chapters and im trying to figure out how the hell i missed this story! you are now one of my fav authors! update soon!!!!
And the plot line is still not strong enough...It reads like a first time effort..which it is.
Hoping for more chapters to come soon though I hate Jason cheating on his wife. Natalia is such a sweet girl and I definately want to see Jason having to go through a tough time proving that he is worthy for a second chance back into her heart !
Cheating stories because they piss me off but I really like this one.
continue please.
for more. Please update soon and don't disappoint your readers by giving up on such a potentially good story.
People can be such haters and flamers! Ignore it and update soon. Loving this story SO much
It would be good to get an editor. There are several mistakes that make it hard to follow like you say Jason walked away and you meant james and then you mentioned their blow up at Nick's and I think you meant the one at Jay's where she was staying but maybe there was another. I still hope to learn more about who they are. We know Jason has money and she didn't but how did their relationship start? What kind of people were they before they got married? How were they as a couple. She alludes to alot of mistakes by him and hard times to work through and it would be good to explain briefly how he's screwed up in the past. He really sounds like an ass. He acts like she owes it to him to forgive him. Hope she hangs tough despite the pain.
Thank you all for the reviews, be it positive or negative, it still means you are following the story :)
Cannd: Thanks for your feedback! I believe the beginning of the chapter introduces their history. "Elizabeth was one of the interior home designers Natalia worked with. Not only was Liz Natalia's co-worker and cousin, but she was the woman who introduced Natalia to Jason in December of 2006...." and so on. This is not extremely detailed, but more about them will be revealed as the chapters go on. Thanks for pointing out some things to me, such as the reference to Jay/Nick, but I'm I'll be sure to edit & resubmit the material. Thanks again :)
But you take to long to get to the Point. with James and Jason in Proximity to each other there should be a Little flexing and maybe jawing between them as Jason seems to be full of himself.