All Comments on 'Eleanor Rigby: Choices and Consequences'

Total Rat crap

After reading both of HDK's chapter on this characters , I thought there was another continuation of this , so I used Lit's search and found this.

The original series left me sad , so I just hoped that there was a version that would lift my spirits , but sadly it just wasn't meant to be.

The lead Protag is just so damned wimpy.

I am not a straight BTB'er , by any stretch , but somethings just cry out for a little bit of emotional salve for inflicted wounds. Unfortunately this character is simply doomed to die of gangrene .

I liked this ending.

this woman had a full affair over a period of time and did it intentionally. No way I could ever forgive or forget that.

I never liked the original because of the absolutely bullshit betrayal and RAAC that ensued so you really didn't have much to work with from my point of view unless you took it in a different direction, which you didn't.

I don't necessarily want a BTB ending for every cheating wife, neither do I want a RAAC in every case. Many times I root for the husband and wife to find an way to stay together, but NEVER at the cost of the husband's honor or self-esteem. Often times there's no good way to do it; the affair was too public, too egregious, too cold and cruel - or the wife simply doesn't care enough to put forth the effort it takes to win him back. That was the case here, the wife did the bare minimum while moaning and groaning about what she wants to see happen.

In every story where I wished for a reconciliation, it was ultimately because the author set up a scenario where you truly believed the wife loved her husband, the "affair" was a spur-of-the-moment thing she instantly regretted, and she would do absolutely anything to get him back. I didn't get that from this story or from HDK's original. I think your story was better than HDK's 'Aftermath', but still fell short of convincing me she was anything but a woman scared of an unknown future where she would have to provide for herself.

She had to stop and think about whether or not she could give up her "best" friend. She was extremely reluctant about going to Wilkins's office and accusing him of a moral breach of conduct, whatever that is. If she was willing to do anything to get him back, then she wouldn't have even hesitated to agree to his demands.

In my humble opinion though, it was a mistake to have the daughter threaten her father, to take his wife back or else. Instead of answering with a resounding, "Bring it!", you had the father surrender and tell the wife he'd take her back. Almost as if he was scared of his two little girls causing him grief, the father is doing exactly what the girls demanded. I'm not made that way so it didn't sit well with me; my kids do NOT order me around and they certainly wouldn't dare threaten me - they know better. It was at that point I became disgusted with your version of a RAAC. I don't think the wife was worth it, she certainly didn't earn it, and I would have made those girls rue the day they decided they had the stones to lay down the law. For me, the girls slammed the lid on that marriage and nailed it shut. No healthy family has children acting in that manner.

However, as I said, I enjoyed your version more than HDK's 'Aftermath'. You're a good writer, I like your work and look forward to your stories.

Thanks!

This and HDK's original aftermath are decent stories. I was put off a bit towards the end as his forgiveness was not very well explained and rushed. Also you changed from 3rd to 1st person too many times to count... 4* effort thanks!

I think everything that was said in his comment reflected my exact thoughts … except for saying you are a good writer. I think you have potential but there were far too many faults in the technical writing and to be a good writer you have to develop the characters and story.

I didn't get the impression that you believed in the characters as real people. They were devices for you to use in a series of rambles.

So I'm probably a bit more harsh than anonymous 11/30/2016 but it is with the hope that you learn to think about the characters more and to flesh them out better as well as either get an editor to check your work or for you to realise that you have to check your work more fully. Perhaps write it. Leave it a while then check it because, I know form experience that checking a freshly written essay is far harder than going back to something cold.

Keep going, there's something there but, like many of us, you are not the finished article yet!

wimpy cuck shit.

When daughter threatened father he should have told her GOODBYE!

Daughter thinks adultery is ok

Pity her future husband

A few points just do not sit right with me. First, the psychobabble about lack of closure with Dan in high school. Just the kind of comment that reinforces the futility of counseling in adultery situations. It simply provides an excuse to make her feel better about herself and convince her that she wasn't totally responsible for her actions. Utter nonsense.

Secondly, this quote spoken by Ted is key: "Although I am reasonably sure you are genuinely sorry and repentant over the whole issue". But is she sorry for the affair or because she got caught? At no point does she acknowledge that she wanted to be seduced. She knew all along that their meetings, dinners, hand holding, etc was going to lead to just what she wanted i.e. sex with Dan. Until that issue is in the open and resolved, Ted is a fool to reconcile.

An RAAC? Seriously? Pathetic!

It was not a mistake but a deliberate choice. Repeatedly. She wouldn't have stopped if she wasn't caught.

She does not love Ted. If she did she would never have considered having an affair. When you love someone you are always thinking in terms of the spouse. You do not have an affair because you know it would destroy your spouse, therefore you can only have the affair if you do not love them.

The affair started when she started having get together deliberately without her husband. She was cheating on Ted even before the first kiss. There is no "technically" about it. She was giving to Dan what she was not giving her husband. And she knew it was wrong, but kept doing it. She did it in secret because she absolutely knew it was wrong.

If you can't do it in front of your spouse you shouldn't be doing it.

She says she will do whatever to get back with Ted, but immediately balls on separating with Helen and going to Dan's workplace. Certainly seem like she really wants to get back together. The smart thing would have been to drop her at that point because clearly Ted and the family are not important enough to her.

Terrible resolution. If she was real I give her 2 years before she cheats again. She already broke a bunch of promises and vows without consequences. She told Ted not to worry and then went out and did it anyway. So she tells him she loves him and won't do it again, but of course she can't be trusted.

I need happy endings.

I don't even know how old this story is, but thank you for a happy ending. We need more of them.

I was hoping you were going to take your time to write a great reconciliation story. It was not. Just a good sequel. It take a really great and talented writer to turn around a cheating story into a believable reconciliation tale. And while you didnt write a RAAC, I think the story needed more development to make it a believable tale. Half the story you basically re-told what had happened. Show more than tell.

The only two great reconciliation stories I've read are Ohio's Ari, and Longhorn07's Requital. And neither of them are two pages long. Good effort, just not enough.

For all the reasons the husband said. She did nt just fuck the interloper. She took time and love away from her husband daughters and family unit.

No way would I take her back.

HDK IS BY FAR THE BETTER! Nice try but alas it just not quite what I like 4★ WOOF!

Although Jerry Springer would love It! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! ( I can't help myself ) See Ya!

Much of the dialogue here was stilted and unrealistic. People don't talk like that in real life. Other than that, an OK story. --JRZ

Pathetic Raac. Husband is wimp coward who huffs and puffs but does shit.

Fairly blatant betrayal, and the only reason it stopped was an ugly discovery scene. Granted, she's only getting the chance at this point, but it seems a low-cost path to recon. Sleeping in the guest room and counseling?

But you told the story very well. Loved Dad taking care of Dan again, although hubby should have been the one to take out the trash. Reconciliation a little too quick, guess it was for the kids. Wife seems remorseful, but should be made to work very hard to regain trust from husband.

Any father worthy of the title would have (1) kicked the wife to the curb, especially in light of the fact that she didn't rebuke her bitchlets for their comments and injecting themselves into the issue and (2) would have told the bitchlets that he hopes they enjoy living with their mother. His failure to do those things taught the bitchlets the wrong lesson.

I liked HDK's ending a lot more. *2*

The story was well written and worth a highest rating, but I still didn't like him taking the blame for her BFM. I call bullshit. It wasn't a mistake, it was a deliberate act, multiple times. There was no love, only selfishness.

detroitdave

Second time. Really like this finish to the story, especially the complete destruction of Dan.

i bet should the cucks daughters marry a man that cheats on them that they will stay

given the daughters attitudes I would stay with the whore and once a year take a two week vacation alone, the same two weeks the whore was cheating, and I'd enjoy my self with as many women as possible, and I would tell each of my daughters husbands what their stance on staying with a cheating spouse is and testify on their behalf show the little whores decide being married to a cheat suddenly inst really that important

I am with Anon 11/23 but with a small footnote. I don't know what kind of peace and happiness is possible living with such a cheating bitch! In addition, what lessons does this teach two impressionable and emotional daughters. This ending is unsatisfying and unsatisfactory. I would prefer a bit more of a "saddletramp" slant on this. Dan getting a 'lesson' is OK but what about the slut? Ted is now walking on a tightrope and not likely to be at peace with his 'new' relationship with Ellie In real life this marriage is a zombie ready to rise up from the dead and do great damage to Ted and the girls! Good story, well written but I feel like the end has yet to be 'written; 3***

Like to see more of how it goes. Thanks

One might be able to understand and maybe accept a stumble and a one night’s stand but three separate instances is unforgivable. Contrary to his daughters’ wishes the only choice here was to BTB and find someone else. With his reputation he wouldn’t have to look far or very hard for a suitable replacement!!

So the loving wife cheated on her stupid husband and slept with the guy her husband hated five times. How did the husband retaliate? He retaliated by banishing his wife's best friend from his house and by making his wife accuse her lover of sexual harrassment. Did he divorce her? No. Wow what a smart man! 1 bright star for this jewel of a story-telling.

all she did was say I'm sorry over and over. Everyone know she's sorry. she's a sorry piece of trash. And in this case she's already infected the kids with her whorish ways.They are on her side no matter what, so he should go ahead be content being a cuckold for life. Or dump the slut and her minions now.

.... yeah thats it! you took a good story by HDK and made it a cucky wimpy ending... and u call urself writing dragon? can ya pse change ya name to writingfaggot?

I really didn't like when his girls threatened him near the end. His wife should have stood up for him and told them to back off and that it was all her fault not his.

He was to easy on her...Cheating does cause to much pain...He should have made her sign the divorce papers...and then make her fight to win him back...that would have made a better story...........

Five times with all the other betrayals. There are consequences when she made many, many bad choices and she has to sit in the corner for 5 minutes. Bullshit.

Stories I read on lit was HDKs original, I loved it and actually felt for poor Eleanor. Reading your version I want to see her burned at the stake in town square. I think you added some details to the original, that caused my change of heart, thus it did not feel like the same characters. Still good effort.

Caught in the act the first time is one thing, but 4 times before that is premeditated and NOT forgivable. I gave it 4 stars for the good writing but couldn’t go for the 5th star because her actions. To me, the stars for a story reflects not just the author’s work but also the plot.

How many times if not caught?

Huh

jtwheels

Once again, reconciliation is fine but he should absolutely fuck any woman he wants to from this point on. And rub her face in it every time.

I really like this sequel to the story. It's just the way it should have ended.

This was a good ending to the first story but is lacking in its own ending.

I guess my own imagination isn’t that good because I like total endings.

Then I don’t write stories either.

Four stars ⭐️ .

Bill

she did not go to his work and confessed, some other husband did that, which means that she could not do that even when her husband demand it

the ending is not convincing, she did not go back to her husband except after she had no other options

He wimped out. She got away with being a whore for another. What were her consequences?

None, in the end, none!!!!

Worth 2/5

...Helen did nothing to “push” Ellie into Dan’s arms. Ok, she did remind Ellie about the high school relationship itself, but she sure didn’t say ‘You should go for it’.

When the curtain finally dropped at the fund raising offices and Ted showed up to pick Ellie up, as far as I can tell in HDK’s original story, Helen “voice” didn’t say she thought Ellie was in the office screwing around, seemed smirk-less and innocent.

“I haven't seen her lately, but she is probably in the office getting all the games and tickets ready, Ted," responded Helen. "Want me to look for her?"

There was no “WAIT! DONT... go in there.” Or furtive looks of smug satisfaction.

Just an observation.

stupid piece of crap writing. minus 10 stars.

There are those whom I'm thankful they no longer contribute to this site. "writingdragon" is among those...

Zero consequences. Willing cuck. Yup, always the husbands fault. Surprised we did not have a counselor and wife ganging up on him for all his misdeeds. Cucks get one star. Cucks are disgusting and pathetic.

“none of this lets you off the hook” as he immediately lets her off the hook

Not mine. It got freaking sappy at the end. The errant wife analysed her behaviour as if she had been led on by a counselor.... Nope!

Good story, but I did not like his daughters great near the end if he did not reconcile. They should have stayed out of it other than being supportive.

It's funny how some leave me feeling like the reconciliation supporters are pussies but there are a few stories where the critics of reconciliation seem like pajamas in their parent's basement pimpled keyboard tough guys who have never actually had a woman they didn't pay for.

Had always thought the original 'award speach' ending didn't do the story justice.

That said, you did get a bit winded but you did wrap up story with a better conclusion.

Well done.

So, daughters take skank side and he apologizes? Hubbies fault? This author is starting to specialize n willing cucks. Very distasteful and full of garbage. Not a valid effort. One star.

So .. a daughter wants dad to accept the cheating slut of a mom?…Dad.. please explain to any prospective suitor of hers what they are in for!

I get its hard when there are kids involved but this deserves nothing less than a divorce.

WTF, the Kids taking the moms Side solves it?? Shitty way to tie a bow in a heap of excrement.

I liked it ,you did both sides well

The kids getting involved spoiled it. They should have been dealt with and then mom n dad could work out a reconciliation or a divorce , whichever way it went.

You got tired or ran out of ideas after daddy beat up her lover. You rushed the end to get it finished. That’s sad.

He should have dumped her

Awesome job at closing up this piece that seem to be left waiting for someone like you to come along properly finish it!!

albertin55@gmail.com

He has deep seated fear she will trade up. At first chance with old flame she does exactly that...

He should have divorced her.

In real life a woman like that would walk away with the lesson that if caught she can cry her way out of trouble. That woman would cheat again but would be more careful.

Thank you writingdragon, this was a great sequel, you did a very good job!

Did not like it. Loved the writing but the kids should have not gotten involved. She screwed around after being warned. 4 months is allot of time but he paid a heavier price then she did. She feared the repercussions of her actions but not the deed of what she did. In short the husband is a little bit of a cuck

I especially like the consequences of telling the kids, both parents and REMOVING the best friend. Let’s just say that rings very true to me. 5*

What a bunch of California style psycho-ology ... Make the husband, somehow feel like he set himself up to be cheated on. Then let the whore stay close until the next guy shows up . How insane of an idea . 2 stars

He felt he did something wrong? He allowed almost grown kids to not only insert themselves, but to take her side,and to threaten him? Just wow.zero self respect, the way of modern man. Shw as warned, then after the fact wants to make it up. Coulsd some genius cuck author please explain exactly how makig it up is done? Buy an unfuck machine? Please , just exactly how is it done?

I would have laid into my daughter for talking like that to her father. I would hope to never be in that situation but it's not their place to be involved.

Interesting to see the similarities and differences to the story sequel by harddaysknight.

My opinion is that he should have dumped her at the get go. But the reconciliation was well done and different people have different views so getting back together worked for him. 4 stars.

Bill S.

Ended better than I thought it was going to but in this he was wimp to the end he should have gone after the former boyfriend.

Could have been a good idea, but a little long on words, short on actual meaningful action to demonstrate any repentance on her part. The part with the daughters trying to intervene at the end seems stupid. A little bit repetitive, kind of drags things down.

Another spineless husband. One minimum requirement should have been the signing of a punitive post nuptial agreement. With my background there would have been an ex-wife and two dis-inherited daughters.

Nice writing. Not my type of ending. No BTB but I would have asked for a divorce.

I gave this story 4 stars, but for the writing & story telling. The action within... that's another story. While I'm in favor of reconciliation where warranted, I'm not sure here it is. Ellie didn't cheat once, but 3 times, probably more by the story & her telling of events. There's no mention of her getting STD tests. It seems that the husband took to a 2nd chance too fast, even though a couple months past. What didn't help was that she didn't readily cut the friendship with Helen, but in a way was forced to.

So while I give the story 4 stars, I given the action within 2. Bob

A good version of the finish to HDKs story. I commented on that one that I felt the second part wasn't quite as good as the first. I still feel the same with this. But it was a very well written piece. BardnotBard

Excellent writing and dialog. Not a fan of reconciliation in this case - MC gave in far too easily and not enough consequences for the cheater.

good story not sure about the ending

This version is better than the original part 2 but still disappointing. The circumstances around the cheating and the position she was in when she got caught are too extreme to believe forgiveness would come that easily.

The relationship would be over and even if it wasn’t it would take years to get to forgiveness, not a few months. They would likely have to break up and get back together later.

Don’t like what Jen said to her father. If my daughter said that to me in that situation there would be very bad issues between us. She is challenging her father and he let her walk over him. What does she challenge him on next. I know she wants to keep the family together but challenging the father is not the way to do it. If this was my daughter, with that one sentence she would seriously damage her relationship with me, and would need to rebuild it so I could trust that she sees my point of view as well. Made this a bit of a personal comment but didn’t know how elder to put my view across.

He should have gotten a post nup signed before the reconciliation.