All Comments on 'Endangered Ch. 02'

super......don't you DARE stop writing this tale.....:) .....on another note...maybe his fluids could effect a positive change on the bodies of his women..?????...just a thought....:)

That could be an interesting twist, you've mentioned the magical properties of dragons and some fluids, but it would be interesting to have something else. There are a few grammatical errors, but otherwise it is really good; well done. Keep it up.

its good

good but needs work.

dont use the same sayings over and over again, it makes the different characters personality bleed together.It's very unlikely that 3 different people would say "we will cross that bridge when we come to it" one after the next, and more likely that you just got lazy and didn't take the time to think of a different saying to diversify the characters.

She may be technically unrelated, but the whole Susan thing is still straight up incest.

This story is well-written, and has some very interesting elements, but with the incest, I'm out. Can't get past it. That's. His. Mother. Gross in every way.

I'll look for your next story.

Yeah I like your story and hope you keep writing. The sex scenes are ok, but I find the concept to be great.

Keep the (not really his) mother as a love interest!

Well done! I thank you for your efforts and thank you for posting the results here!

I eagerly await the next chapter! Thank you!

Keep writing,

the story is really good can not wait for the next part.

More Please!

hands down the best erotic stories i have ever read

Really good so far :D when will the awsomeness continue? :p

Thanks for the feedback, I will post chapter 3 in the next few days. Then it takes about a week to get up on the website.

Looking forward 2 ch3 the 1st 2 were awesome

PLZ UPDATE SOON!

Looks a lot like Tel'aran'rhiod.

Good job so far

First time sex, incest (but not <<really>>), potential (highly willing) harem building, AND magic; yessss, thissss hassss great possibilitiessss. BTW, I'd have frickin' FLOWN (a least a couple times around the barnyard - scare the shit outta the chickens!).

I don't get the incest complaints, they're not related, they're not even the same species. Can't be incest, though if it creeps you out that's your own hangup (not the author's problem).

Maybe because I read ch1 right before ch2. But in ch1, Chris drives his mom to the university, drops her off, then goes to the high school. At the end of ch1, Chris and Annabel leave in Annabel's car. You spend time talking about how cool it was that she had a car. Then in ch2 when Chris is in the Ether, susan is driving home in her 4WD car. You can fix the inconsistency easy by having Susan drop Chris off. I know you were trying to hint at the latent dominance in Chris by having him do subtely controlling type things (such as drive his mother's car and drop her off to work). However, since his dragon hadn't emerged, it makes sense that he's still more submissive and his mother would drop him off to school.

Finally, I could sense an exponential increase in skill. In your first chapter you had tons of boring exposition that slowed down pacing and sacrifices later world building. In this chapter it was all in the moment with things being revealed through actions in scenes. Great job.

Finally, the definition of incest varies. I know its illegal in my state to marry someone whom you have adopted, but that didn't stop Woody Allen...and we all still go to see his movies. It also hasn't destroyed the Game of Throne's popularity at all.

I think you should handle it as a deeply emotional. Personally, if you wanted a long form, I think the mother would have made a great "woman scorn villain" but i'm interested to see where you take things.

If you had paid attention you would have noticed that

a) Chris dropped off a vehichle at the university, and drove to his house in Annabelles car.

b) you're reading to deeply into what the author is trying to convey. If you look at how Chris brought Susan coffee all those times before he went to work with the animals, you would realize that driving her to work was just about being nice to his mother.

c) the author never iterated (explained) how it was she took the role of being his mother, just that she took the responsibility and role

d) and finally the author has left open a lot to make clear about the magical world and its society. Ltpc has merely given a bit of background so as to have a base for building the whole magic community. I find that it is important otherwise you destroy the readers interest with a chapter that is solely building and creating a setting and social infrastructure. Done in parts as through this chapter introduced by the Characters and not the Author it makes it feel less like reading an essay and more like part of the story.

Had to stop a drop a note before continuing on. This is the most fun I've had reading anything on this site! I love the direction the story is going in!

Can't wait to read more on how Chris comes into his power and what he can do with it. Waiting for the mandatory evil character =D

.

Chris is right, his dragon can really be a douchebag.

I hope he manages to fight it off in some ways. Incest (blood or not, they're still family) is fine, but the way this story goes at it... it's as though Chris died. Chris is still there, Susan is still his mother, and the fact that he turned into a dragon has not changed that he, as Chris, has not really changed--that's really just been his dragon. Then there's the dragon completely dismissing all the years she raised him as her not being his mother... along with the chemical influences, the entire affair just leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

He could have changed without destroying his family, but now the dragon is about to induct his mother into his brood (and there's already been a clear tendency for dominance from him--the mother/child bond won't survive) against his will. It could, no doubt, tell him how to stop the pheromones (dragons presumably manage to have day-to-day lives not consisting of fucking everyone they meet, so there must be a way to control that), but it isn't sharing. Sure, this isn't *completely* the fault of the pheromones, but unlike with Annabel, the chemicals are stirring emotions that only barely exist and might never come to the fore into a life-altering storm. At least Annabel was already in a sexual relationship with him.

Although Susan noted in the first chapter that her son would be gone when the dragon awoke, her only reaction (after relief that he wasn't kidnapped) to seeing him was to marvel at his new fancy dragon form. There wasn't even a suggestion that she might have felt that Chris no longer existed or was only a fragment of himself in some new being--although the rest of this chapter has had her saying that he isn't the person he once was (although from a reader's perspective, he pretty much is).

His life is being rearranged by this dragon. Who he fucks and who his family is are dictated by this dragon. We couldn't even say that the dragon is just a part of him, because it's reactions to things (such as Anabelle biting his ear) is completely unlike him--even if he were to take on draconic characteristics, he wouldn't be calling her "petulant female" like that. It's like Chris is a prisoner in his own body, given the illusion of control that the dragon can clearly take at any time.

"Chris is right, this dragon is a jerk."

"His life is being rearranged by this dragon. Who he fucks and who his family is are dictated by this dragon."

And yet this dragon IS Chris, they are one and the same and must repair the schism brought by an inauthentic upbringing ("You have to hide your true self!"). This idea represents adolescence and the tumultuous becoming of a sexual adult--one reason the story is popular. It represents becoming familiar with and accepting the whole new side of you that you didn't have before.

The sure way to have sexual issues is to keep thinking of Chris and this dragon as separate entities. If you don't see this later in the story and come to like Chris/the dragon as they are... I would have to say that you are very unfamiliar with your sexual self, certainly have not accepted it. However, I get the upheaval being unwelcome at first; that's a natural response. Like I said, a delicious comment that's so perfect for this point in the story! XD

comes from how little we know.

The tiny bits we were told in Ch. 01 and now the scant additional info from 02 present a huge canvas for the author. Elves, Treachery, Power, Good and Evil, in other words, no limits.

lead on ltpc

lead on

This is a brilliant story but the ni nose thing is strange. Every time I imagine his facw I think of voldemort from Harry potter. Still I brilliant story but

Think of Voldemort from Harry Potter, of course not the pasty sickly colour

Excellent 2nd chapter it just gets better and better I cannot wait to see where you go with this you are a excellent writer. :-)

This has caught me completely off guard - so much so that I skipped right past commenting on Ch. 1!

What an amazingly fun read, and I can see you have a ton more planned, so cool!

M

What's not to like in this story? The writing is good, and has been well-edited. The inner logic to the story is holding together, and it's a damned good yarn so far. Kudos!

I thought you were gonna shave Susan just like everyone does to MILFs and Cougars thankfully you didn't. So thank you very much!

Susan is not blood, so it's not incest. She's the perfect fit. The writing is great. A few odd sentences. It's important to re-read after stopping and starting. Your spelling and grammar are spot on.

So to make dragons extinct all you do is hunt them a fair bit. This make breeding inside the species difficult and hybrids are born. This makes pure blood breeding even more difficult, so more hybrid breeding. In the end it’s just hybrid on hybrid if your lucky or just hybrid on human. In the end the dragons are bred out not shot out.

So this puppy love git needs to find a nice full dragon girlfriend who actually knows some dragon shit and can make full dragon babies.

A two dragon pair would be excellent for protection and fighting. While a dragon human pair is disastrous for safety.

I know dragons are fantasy but why would a new and hunted, in hiding with murdered parents and not knowing even basic dragon shit, dragon, pair up with a wannabe chef with no tits?

Still reading the story though.

Just what bearminx said.

This split personality thing is annoying. Wasn’t there a bit in the change that had the pain in the head that went away after the dragon won? What did the dragon mind win, nothing it seems? The entity is a dragon, not a human. However the dragon was impersonating a human for more than a decade, but he is still 100% pure bred dragon.

So this human shit is just a charade, a lie to ensure survival for a few years. Now the dragon is out the lie is just that, lie, it doesn’t exist. With that train of thought then the dragon has had its body and mind hijacked by a human that won’t leave just like an overstayed guest in your house.

Hopefully you will merge the memories of the human years into the dragon mind and just have a dragon as they are rare in the story. So having a scitzo dragon is a waste of a powerful dragon and the species is on the decline. Watering down a dragon to human principles is crap. Human have no magic, live short lives and don’t breath fire. So trying to fit human norms to a dragon is pathetic and degrading to the dragon community.

While waiting.......

This has to be one of the best multi-chapter story arcs I've read on this site!

I just finished binging the series and am eager to see more! Glad to see that you are on Patreon and have signed on as a supporter to keep abreast of the progress toward your next chapter! Keep up the great storytelling!

OMG ... brilliant tale, fantastically written too, cant seem to put it down :)

Chapter 2 of Endangered is brilliant sci-fi story telling at its finest. An exciting plot, and appealing characters, mixed with a marvelous romantic element, make this chapter an exceptional reading experience.

Does being dragon come with split personality, lol? :D

Dragged along to ch 03...

wow

absolutely magnificent read...

500,000 stars if i could, you have me hooked

"I don't think you'll get pregnant, not yet anyway, my dragon says I need to bite you first. I have a venom to induce fertility, it's all some elaborate mechanism to ensure females get pregnant with my young rather than another males."

How so? unless he's done something to make her currently infertile, how does this stop other males?

My third or forth reread. Great story, just wish there was more to come.

Really enjoying the two personalities. Great take on the situation

Quality of writing shines through. I forgive a lot of mistakes for free, often first time writing, but this stuff is just very good.