All Comments on 'Fate'

I think that you're off to a good start and I can't wait for the next chapter. There are spelling and grammer mistakes that made this chapter a little rough to read. If you use an editor for your next chapter it should make for a smoother read. Overall, great start.

great storyline. very hot!

The story itself has merit, but is hard to read with all the spelling and grammatical errors.

You've got an interesting story line, but you need to work on your spelling & grammer. Try to find a proofreader or editor. Keep at it. :)

Neat to have a potential were/vampire conflict, but previous posters are right. This really needs an editor and/or proofreader. There are a lot of little errors that jar you out of the story.

please keep writing. may i suggest that you find an editor -- the misspellings and incorrect sentences are a bit distracting from your story, the characters, etc.

Well this was dissapointing. I was going to read your other series but saw you had this one first. I read it and was utter garbage. Besides spelling errors and grammar errors that take away from the story, I don't know why so many writers here at literotica have the female role raped then get all cozy with the hero. Who in real life does that? I realize this is fantasy but even this is to fantastic to be believable. Unless she's all ready messed up. She was living alone with her father, but he molested her while growing up. So the rape and getting into bed with another male kinda makes sense.

I liked your story, please continue writing it!

To all of the complainers, if you want perfect stories go buy them at the bookstore. These are just basically rough drafts that the authors are working on. Even professional writers still have to send their books to professional editors before they are published, and sometimes I still find errors in those. Let's try not being too harsh, these are not published works.

Lovely, sweet and interesting.

Please, please fix your work. It should be against the law to have so many errors. I mean, some sentences don't make sense. I understand some errors, but you had a lot of run on sentences.You should have someone proof read. Preferably someone who has aced English! I have never commented on someone's grammatical errors, but this looks like middle school writing. Sorry. The theme is good, but if you can't understand sentences than reading the story becomes an issue.If you can't see the problems that's even worse. Just have someone check it.

Unreal how many errors are in this. I really want to like (read) this story, but a lot of it doesn't make any sense. Hopefully you get someone to proof read your future stories. Good luck!

The grammar and typos/spelling make it a struggle......

Stephen J