All Comments on 'Fists of Repentance Ch. 01'

This was so badly written it wasn't erotic. I don't mean to gripe, but really, this story needed an editor in the worst way. Tortured construction, run-on sentences, odd punctuation... Well, I'll get flamed for these comments, but I don't care. I truly suggest the author get with a good editor prior to releasing any more stories.

beginning with an interesting angle to a cheating spouse story. I will look foreward to sea where the writer takes us.

<p>I agree with the first comment. This whole thing was written with a third grader's knowledge of grammar and punctuation. The "writer" shows no skill at developing a story line, constructing plausible dialogue, or (in fact) anything related to the craft of writing. I have to note the vote in favor of this story demonstrates illiteracy similar to the story on which the comment is based. </p>

<p>Ron123XYZ@foreveranonymous.naturally</p>

the story so far,and am waiting to see what her revenge is.I read for enjoyment and not to mark the authors work as if were an examination paper,some people should loosen up.Those people obviously majored in English,but failed on common sense.

Not a word rings true. Even the excuse for sending Leslie home early, the pill bottle, is lame. What pharmacy needs the bottle to refill a prescription?

fucked up mind you must have, somebody save your family hopefully

collection of sentences I have read on this site. Idiotic characters with no brains, morals or any type of common sense.

The only possible way out of this is the idiot wife waking up from her dream. Ending the second chapter with one sentence asleep would help greatly. The only way you could improve this part is withdraw it from the site.

More like StupidBitch Chump to me. Nuff Said. Not worth any further effort (Commenting or reading...)

My My...

I just got home and discovered Part 1 went online today and WOW...what kind and constructive feedback LOL

Between all the words of support here and the several bits of email feedback I've received, its clear, as it is with most of my submissions, that I'm equally loved as I am loathed...

And thats a feeling of accomplishment I'll take anytime...

To the folks that hated part 1, you'll really be wasting your time reading the rest of the series because its basicly more of the same..(come on now..you know time is way too precious to waste on my drek)....on the other hand to those who liked part 1..feel free to read on..hopefully you enjoy the ride:)

Everyone, God Bless,

Stardog

...

Why create and pound a writer contrived weak helpless woman unless your needs are on the sick side writer?<P>

This senseless contorted absurdity reveals more of you than what you intended little sick one. Do you smile as you drown puppies and burn kittens as well?<P>

As you disgust through your words, one wonders your purpose except to deliver pain to the jaded similar to yourself sicko's who need it to get excited.<P>

A sad waste of little talent and cruel intention. Why is that your mission writer?

nothing right about this story at all ...if she didnt do something insti8nstive like stabbing one of them or setting fire to the house after she took the kids out and making it so her hubby and his bitch couldnt escape ...realistically she would have taken pics or something to end her farce of a marriage ...after all alimony and child support for 3 kids would probably break her ex hubby anyway ...id have m=took all i could get and the house also and make him continue house payments ...id have left him with enough money to be able to live confortably in a card boardbox after i was through with him..that is if i didnt biurn the house do9wn with them in it ...after all i had taken the kids and went shopping ...i have no idea what he did to burn the house down and i have no idea why hed be with a naked girl fucking ...i sure hope you can i dentify who she was as i plan on suing her estate for alienation of affection for committing adultery with my hubby...

to vindicate you. After reading this I assumed it was a first work, took the time to look and discovered you had actually written before. That was a major surprise. the story as written smacks of latent lesbian tendencies on the part of the wife and the drug user slut. I am afraid in my life I have never met a women that loved that much that would have let another woman just walk by her after finding that. Since I am a bit older than you and probably with a lot more expeience than you, I find that a contrived setup. We have a just past teenage age girl who is a slut and who is a known drug user fucking her husband and no mention is made of STDS or AIDS. Even with no other risk factors such as being a slut, the drug user itself is a severe AIDS risk. No test as discussed and she resumes sex without any testing which may take a year for a total negative result. Now you are painting a scene with a woman who is child centered, highly church centered, with no self esteem, no backbone, and is just plain stupid. Of course the husband in this is a male dog around a bitch in heat, and just thinks about scheming himself out of this. The teenage girl depicted here is way to mature in her actions to be an addicted teenage college dropout. But never you mind writer, you keep writing and they will keep cutting you down with constructive criticism. Oh yes you alluded to no positive criticism, it was menttioned before and is being again, get a good editor to proof read for grammar, contruction, and content.

Interesting first chapter. It held my interest and I liked how you built up the tension in the end again as you did in the beginning.

So, you've had no formal training? You can't teach someone how to write. Either they have it or they don't. You certainly have it.

You handle the bashers well. It is unfortunate that they shit all over your work.

Good job. I shall look forward to chapter 2.

except, "BS" and I won't waste any time reading the 2nd chapter.

I don't believe this story. Husband has sex with local teenage slut and wife just stand and watches, then resumes her loving? marriage. You can't be serious. Noone could be that dumb.

the Ct. Yankee

Of course it isn't "realistic". It's not supposed to be. For a good erotic story, the connection to reality need only be sufficient enough to allow you to hold the setting in your mind. Beyond that, anything is fair game. Great stuff stardog, keep up the great erotic fiction. Let those who want erotic history look elsewhere.

Of course it isn't "realistic". It's not supposed to be. For a good erotic story, the connection to reality need only be sufficient enough to allow you to hold the setting in your mind. Beyond that, anything is fair game. Great stuff stardog, keep up the great erotic fiction. Let those who want erotic history look elsewhere.

Extremly good erotica,believe me ignore the bashers,they havnt a clue.

I sense hints of withdrawal symptoms from some of your critics,I wonder why.?