All Comments on 'Forever Again Ch. 01'

A minor historical point (i just found this story): I assume that you are implying (or outright stating, and i missed it) that Vala was a blonde and thus exotic in Cleopatra's Egypt and in her experience.

Well, in point of fact, Cleopatra herself was probably a redhead, or blonde. She was a Ptolemy, a Greek family that came from a part of Greece where red and red-blonde hair is common.

Lighter hair was common in Macedon, but Cleopatra's family had been in Egypt for 300 years. Though there'd been some inbreeding, that's still a lot of time for genes for dark hair from Greeks, Persians and Egyptians to swamp the recessive trait of light hair... assuming the Ptolemy family had light hair to begin with, something that I've never seen documented. Red hair was uncommon in the Mediterranean basin, enough that it got remarked on when it showed up in a leader like Alexander or Pyrrhus. If Cleopatra had been a blonde or a ginger, that probably would have gotten into the historical record.

Seriously, this was lovely.

Good writing, good mechanics, all done well. I wasn't proofreading (or trying to), so if there were any errors, I was so swept along by your excellent storytelling that I failed to notice.

I simply adore hearing a character's thoughts and feelings, and you did that incrrrredibly well. The sexy, seductive dream scenes were verrrry erotic.

So well done! You’ve hook me in the one already! Thank you!