Cate's Struggles

After a while, I looked at the bar, and Jade looked at me a moment later, and held up a glass. I nodded.

"That was sort of early and unexpected," she said, looking toward the dance floor. "Never saw them do that before. Others, yeah, those two, uh-uh, but they were hot."

"Yes, very," I agreed.

"Gotta go, hon. Lift your glass if you want more, okay?"

I nodded, and returned her smile.

Oddly, I was enjoying myself, most likely from seeing those dancers. It was as if they'd let me know I was still alive, though I was missing my love so much. Watching more of the dancers, I divided my time looking between them and that one group.

Chapter 7

Some time later, a new girl I'd never seen before came in, and looked about nervously. Right off, I knew what she was, and why she was at the club. She had to be a submissive, and by her looks, a new one at that, she was so young looking. Then again, she may not have been. She was definitely much too pretty, and sexy looking as well, and obviously all alone. Soon she would most likely find a taker, but the odds were against her finding someone as she probably hoped to find. I felt sorry for her.

It wasn't long after she'd walked in that one of Attila's group walked up to her. She was trouble for the girl for sure, for there was nothing sweet and romantic about the oversized butch. She was almost as big as Attila. The girl grew more nervous. She was about to go with her, but something held her back. It was as if she'd take a step with her, then a step away.

A few of the others seemed to be watching the scene with great interest. Then the big one grabbed the young girl's arm and started to pull at her. The newbie tried to pull away, but to no avail, and no one moved to help her. Maybe it was all the noise in the place that kept any from shouting at her—surely they weren't all that afraid of the big girl. Jade wasn't watching, and none pointed out the problem that looked to be getting out of hand for the new girl. Fool that I was, I wasn't about to let her make the girl do what she didn't want to do.

Walking quietly over to them, I stood there looking at the large one.

"What the fuck you want? A good time, maybe?"

"Do you want to go with her?" I softly asked the pretty girl. She had a slender body frame and long off blonde hair, as well as a too big a bosom for such a slender body.

She shook her head, a very worried look in her eyes, almost as if terrified, but holding her own. She just wasn't big enough to withstand the oversized idiot she'd almost gone with. This had to have been her first foray into what she fashioned as her calling in life and love.

"Let her go," I told the big one, and seeing Jade in my peripheral vision coming over, but still behind the bar.

"Alma, you and Attila and your bunch are a pain in the neck, and a bunch of dumb bitches to boot, but you're good drinking customers, so take my advice and let her go. Trust me, you don't want to fuck with this gal," she said over the loud music and noise. I doubted that anyone else heard Jade.

She'd said it in a very friendly way, but very seriously, and the large woman she called Alma looked at Jade, then at me, but hadn't let the girl go. She didn't believe Jade. I could see it in her eyes, and suddenly I was very sad and regretting what I sensed was coming.

The girl started to grow really nervous as Alma wasn't turning her loose. Jade saw what was coming too for I knew she'd looked at me, and didn't like what she saw. All I knew was that I was very much regretting even being in this place, and everything else but Alma and her prey had disappeared. If anything else had my attention, it was the body bag I often took my rage out on when I fashioned that bastard that took my Lanie from me. That rage was trying to come out.

"Jesus Christ, Alma, do as I say, you dumb bitch. I'm telling you even with Attila you two couldn't take her. You'd both be in the hospital for a long time, now get your fat ass back to your table," Jade thundered, the tone of her voice with an edge I was sure it generally didn't have.

Oddly, I heard the words, but it was as if I hadn't. Things were becoming too focused, too much else was going away, and I hoped she would heed Jade's words. She must have for I sensed Alma loosening her grip, then suddenly taking her hand away.

"I'll see you later," she bluffed.

"Thank you, Alma," I said too softly, then, "don't ever touch her again whether I'm here or not. If I hear that you have, I'll look for you."

I was certain that no other had heard me save possibly Jade, but Alma definitely heard me, then walked away grumbling, most likely wondering why Jade had spoken as she had. The girl was still shaking nervously, but as Alma walked away, she turned shyly to me.

"Thank you. I never expected anything like this," she whispered hoarsely, her eyes both pretty and grateful.

"You're welcome, now go home, and learn to be very picky about who you think about going with," I told her. I walked back to my table oblivious to any who might be looking at me, which I was sure a few probably did. There was no denying that those eyes had affected me. Thinking about it reflexively, I knew I hadn't looked at any woman's eyes since Lanie's. My body bitched at me for parting from her, especially my pussy which was crying unashamedly at my stupidity. What I knew was that I missed Lanie something terrible, and I didn't know what to do about it but wish she was still with me.

"You're a fucking sight, hon, and that girl is ready to give you anything you want, and you walk away. Christ! Who the fuck are you, girl?" Jade asked, but again, just as a friend, and quietly.

Jade had brought me a fresh glass of wine, and I took a sip of it, and shook my head lightly.

"Jeez, you musta really loved her, huh?" Jade read me, but if anyone had paid attention as Jade had, I was sure they would have said similarly.

My words came unbidden, and softly. "I still do."

"She break your heart, hon? I'm a bartender, and you know bartender's have an unspoken license to listen to people, huh?"

"Yes, Jade, I know that, and I thank you. Please be sure to warn Alma that I meant what I said, will you?"

"Yeah, will do. Catch you later, hon," she decided I wanted to be left alone, and left me to my sorrows.

Back at her job of making a good go of her club, I didn't look at anyone, just sat there and stared at my glass of wine. Why did Lanie have to die? Why, damn it, why? I wanted to holler.

Chapter 8

"Can I talk to you?" an unsure, and squeaky voice asked.

Looking up, I saw her again, the pretty blonde. "Go home, girl," I said somberly.

"Please," she didn't give up. I shrugged. She sat down. "I do thank you."

"You were lucky. You wanted to go with her for a moment, and you nearly did. You're going to get hurt, if not here, somewhere else, now please go home," I told her, and hoped she'd take my advice.

"I can't," she said sadly, some tears falling over her cheeks. I couldn't think of anything to tell her. "Can I go with you?" she asked in a little-girl's voice.

Oh, how my body and pussy wanted to take her. My heart saw Lanie's eyes as I looked at this girl's once more, but knew I was hallucinating, that Lanie was the one I wanted. I remembered how Lanie's body felt, how delicious the feeling was. I shook my head in defiance of my body and pussy that both raged at me in their anger.

"Please. I won't be any trouble, I promise I won't."

"How old are you?" I suddenly asked.

"Nineteen," she said. "I know I don't look it to most, but I am," she ended, still very nervous.

"You think of yourself as a submissive, right?"

"Yes," she said, "I think I am. For sure, I love only a woman. No men. Not ever," she gave me the condensed rundown on her life's sexuality.

"It's a trap for you, something you'll get addicted to. Go home and then try to get some help if you want to make it to twenty." I advised her, knowing my words were wasted.

"I wish it was someone like you that saw me first," she softly told me. "Won't you at least let me go with you? Honest, I won't try to do anything."

My first impression was that she meant it, but I knew that one couldn't always count on first impressions no matter how certain a person seemed to be when they spoke. Still, I'd been certain when I'd seen Lanie the first time, and soon I found out Lanie had been certain too when she saw me.

"Will you at least tell me your name?"

"Cate," I admitted quietly.

"I'm Haley. Cate, I know you have to wonder about me, and I don't blame you, but no one has ever done anything to help me like you have. I can't forget that, and honestly, I don't want to, and not just because you're so hot looking," she seemed to be speaking from the heart, and nearly making me smile at saying I was hot.

She was a very sweet sounding person, as well as a sexy looking young girl that someone would take very soon, but it would probably turn out very bad for her if she wasn't more selective.

"Look, see that group over there, the big group with that very cute looking girl in the blue next to the other cute one also in blue? Jade, the owner here that was at the bar with us said they love new people. I've watched them a lot, and they do seem like a very nice group. Be kind to yourself while you look for a Mistress, and make friends with them. They may even help you, or one of them might suit you and she'll want you and take good care of you. Trust me on this, Haley."

"I know I'm pretty, but you're alone. Right?" she decided to find out.

"Yes, that's true, and yes, you're very pretty, but I'm not looking. Okay?"

"If you're alone, you should be looking—you're too gorgeous. You are, but if you don't want me, I'll go there. Will you stay and wait until I'm okay there? I don't want those others to get near me."

"I'll wait and make sure you're okay."

Out of her chair, she came around and kissed my cheek. "You are gorgeous, and I wish you were looking. I hope you change your mind," she whispered.

It was so odd. The certainty she spoke with in her voice was so reminiscent of my own with Lanie. Was fate, fortune's wiles as Lanie had referred to them, teasing me, or was it one of those weird and unimaginable occurrences of circumstances happening again like lightening striking in the same spot twice?

As promised though, I waited. It wasn't long before they'd taken her in like a brooding bunch of mother hens looking out for one of their lost chicks. She was safe, but I wasn't. As I watched for a moment, I was about to leave while she was distracted, but my new self-appointed guardian angel was looking at me with a friendly smirk on her face.

"Damn, girl, you're something else, and damned if I don't wish I knew you better cause I have a feeling you need a good friend, and for some reason, you've elected me."

That got my attention. I elected her? My face showed how perplexed I felt.

"Yeah, that's what you get for saving me," she grinned. "More wine?"

"No, I'm leaving, but thank you." I pushed a twenty at her, and she just looked at it.

"Can't even let me buy you a drink, huh? That's gratitude," she twisted that too, but with a smile.

I was getting very used to Jade.

Chapter 9

Working on my martial arts regimen was suddenly the only thing that was steady in my life, that along with my occasional trips to the club, The Kitten's Korner. The near altercation with Alma spurred me to take my training more seriously. Not that I thought I'd really have a problem with her that couldn't be easily handled, but one never knew. And that brought about something I needed to look at, though I didn't want to: Haley.

Haley was a worry to me, most likely because of the too great similarity of her reaction to me, to what drove Lanie and I to each other so quickly. True, I had championed Haley, so to speak, and that most likely affected her outlook, but because of my background, I had to wonder just how skewed her outlook was, or if it wasn't skewed at all. Still, was that enough for me to go poking my nose into how she was doing?

I hadn't gone to the club in three weeks, and I was feeling a pull, or a push, to go there again. Maybe it was how Lanie and I had worked with those two girls to help them out that was driving me 'professionally', though I wasn't professional anything to Haley. However, since I was searching for a purpose now that I no longer had Lanie, or anything else, I went back there.

* * * *

"What took you so long?" I heard Jade's friendly voice. "Friends aren't supposed to stay away like that, you know. Wine?"

"Hi to you too," I said, "and wine will do, thank you."

No money exchanged hands; we'd settled on me leaving my money as I was leaving the club. It satisfied my need to be a paying customer, and Jade quit quarreling with me about taking my money. As I began to walk to a table, I stopped to scan for Alma. Spotting her, I stared for a moment until she looked at me. My stare continued as she tried to stare me down, but not long after, she lowered her head. She couldn't hide the nervousness she felt, but how she turned away told me that she hadn't bothered Haley if Haley had returned.

"Naw, the dumb bitch got the message," Jade said as both she and my glass of wine sat. "She's not as stupid as she acts. So, how've you been, hon?"

"Okay. You?"

"Still doing a fair business," she said.

"Fair? Aren't you jesting just a little?" I asked with a smile.

"So I fudge every now and then," she grinned. "Your little girl keeps looking for you when she comes in."

"She's not mine, Jade," I didn't promote her continuing to talk about Haley.

"Huh! Tell her that. The kid's stuck on you, girl, but she's doing great with the group you sent her to. Good idea."

"They come up on occasion," I said, a small smile on my lips, glad that Haley was known to be with the group and being accepted by them.

"Yeah, Ariel and Caryn have taken her under their wing; give her all kinds of attention. If I didn't know them, I'd of thought they were trying to steal her from you, but they're just great gals just like the rest of them."

I didn't say anything, so she took that as a good cue to leave. "Holler if you want another."

As I was liking to do, I watched the dancers, and also noted the 'group' having their usual good time. Not long after, two of them started for my table, I was sure, and very purposefully. That set me on edge; I knew what was coming, and I didn't like it. However, I had sent Haley to them, so I would have to suffer them.

"Hi," the one said, "I'm Ariel, and this is Caryn. Can we talk to you a minute?"

"Okay," I surrendered peacefully.

"Well, first we thank you for sending Haley to us; she's a real doll, and we love her already," the one called Caryn said. "We're also thankful that you took up for her. Jabs wasn't around that day—Alma wouldn't have tried anything like that if Jabs was around—so we're glad you helped her. Uh, Jabs is the one with the checkered blouse," she said.

"But we wanted to talk to you about Haley," Ariel came in again. They were smooth at tag-teaming. "We talked to Jade, and know she talks with you, and she said she'd not seen anyone with you, so we wondered...well..."

"Haley has her heart set on you, and she is pretty. Okay, more than pretty, and downright sexy," the other one quickly took over, "and she's smart too. We know she'll be here anytime now, and she's always looking to see if you'll come in. We hope you don't mind too much our sticking our nose into your life as we are, but we're hoping you'll give a thought to Haley. She's crazy about you, and, well, it worries us..."

",,,but she's sweet as can be, and we're afraid she might wind up doing something dumb if she gets feeling down," Ariel jumped in smoothly, finishing the sentence as twins are said to do.

I nearly laughed, but held it to a smile. These two were more than gorgeous in their own right, and it was unusual to hear girls such as they were to the eyes talking as they were. I liked them, and felt their warmth.

"What are you smiling at?" Caryn asked, but with a smile on her lips too. Both of them were smiling.

"You two look quite different in specifics, yet a lot alike in general. What's odd is that other than that, you two could be identical twins. Do you two always finish each other's sentences? You'd make quite a study, you know."

They did a half laugh, half giggle thing, their eyes shining as they looked at each other, then back at me.

"Yeah, it's odd, huh?" Ariel said. "We're like best friends, though all of us together are best friends."

"It's just that Ariel and I are a little different. Our partners were best friends before either of us met them, so I guess we just naturally became best friends with each other too. Ariel is great. I had trouble with Attila when I came here, and she scared me enough that I left, but Ariel found me in the parking lot, and well, she's terrific. Because of Ariel, when I came back, I met Penny, who's now my partner, so..." she trailed off, story finished.

"That's a sweet story, and so is all you're trying to do. Thank you."

"Hmpf!" Ariel faked disappointment. "She's dismissed us, Caryn. Let's go back and pout at our table."

"Aw, she's okay, Ariel. In fact, why don't you join us," Caryn asked me. "We'd love to have you."

"And match make to the end?" I grinned.

"You're tough," Ariel took her turn, "but please keep in mind what we said, okay?"

"I will, and thank you both again. You are both very sweet and kind just as Jade said you were. Haley has good friends in you."

They left, and I mused quietly in my mind and heart. There was no doubt that they were wonderful girls to have as friends, and I found myself wishing I'd had some friends as those two were. It made me wonder what their stories were, their particular circumstances.

Not long after, I heard Haley's voice. "You're back," her voice pricked my ears. "Do you mind if I kiss you, Cate? After all, you did save me," she didn't allow me to answer her question without adding an addendum to it. She was more than pretty, that was for sure, and I was glad she'd made friends who liked her, and most likely, that she liked in turn.

"Women friends generally always kiss when they meet," I said.

I should have thought of what I said. She did kiss me, but on the lips. It wasn't a long kiss, just a regular one, though not as I expected, and it was very firm, enough that I knew her lips would be remembered by mine, and that they would soon be bitching at me with their memory.

"Have you thought about my offer? You know, that if you change your mind," she asked quietly.

I didn't respond. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help it. Will you be here for a while? Will you dance with me?" she asked rapid fire.

"I'll be here a while longer," I said, and left the other alone.

"Please don't mind if I look at you some. I still think you're gorgeous," her quiet voice, and full lips that I finally paid attention to said, then she left.

I watched as she walked away, then saw Ariel and Caryn watching me; they'd probably watched us both from the start, the little busy-bodies.

When I looked up at the bar, I saw that they weren't the only ones watching. Jade was shaking her head slowly from side-to-side with her skewed lips pursed in disapproval. Though I wished they would leave me alone, I still felt a sense of connection with them all, a shade of belonging, and maybe caring too.

Almost immediately, another of the girls working the bar came over, but I still had some wine in my glass. I wondered what this would be about.

"Hi. I'm Evelyn, Jade's partner. Mind if I sit a minute?"

"Please," I said, gesturing to the chair.

"I know I'm kinda late, but I wanted to welcome you to the club, and kind of apologize."