Cate's Struggles

"Oh. What have you done?"

"Nothing. That's it. I ain't done nothing, and I shoulda. I shoulda said welcome to you right off, but, uh, well, I was kind of jealous."

"Of what?" I couldn't understand what she could possibly be jealous of that had to do with me.

"Yeah, well, you see, Jade, my girl, she kinda bragged on you a lot, and... Well, I got pissed. I didn't say anything to Jade, but I know she noticed. She's been good about it, and not said anything, or asked me why I seemed pissed. Anyway, I was wrong. That was great of you, what you did for that girl. I didn't know anything then, but Jade told me. Yeah, that pissed me off more, but when some of the others said something, I knew I was wrong. Anyway, I just wanted to say I'm sorry, and, uh, welcome. Oh, and thanks for helping Jade out too. Need anything, just holler or wave, okay?"

"Thank you, I will," I said.

That satisfied her, and she left. Not long after that, I put my money on the bar, and heard Jade smirk, and say 'bitch' under her breath as I left.

Chapter 10

Spending some time at the cabin again, I swam at night—naked of course—and thought of Lanie, and of our days together. I needed to visit her mother—our mother—and thought to do that soon. A couple of weeks later, having talked endlessly to Lanie in my mind and heart, I returned to our home. The next evening, someone was at the door.

"Hi. My name is Eleanore Jablonski; my friends call me Jabs. May I come in and talk to you?"

"Yes, I know who you are. Please, come in. Can I get you something to drink? Coffee's easy, so is tea, or a soft drink, or some wine if you'd like."

"You know what, what kind of tea do you have? I think you just tickled one of my taste buds," she said in a most friendly manner. I told her the choices. "Constant Comment sounds wonderful. Are you sure it's no trouble?"

"It's a new box of bags, and they are heavy. Since you're a little bigger than I am, maybe you can do the heavy lifting while I put on some water; think you might take two cups?"

She was grinning. "Jade told me I'd like you, and so did Ariel and Caryn, and no, I'm not here to put on an Ariel and Caryn act, so relax, if you can," she sort of emphasized the if I could part. Since I didn't say anything, she looked around. "I like your kitchen. It's cozy and looks ready for conversations any time."

"If that means you don't mind sitting here, I'm all for it. It has had some good conversations in the past."

"Sounds great to me, hon," she kept her friendly face.

Tea ready, we sat to sip and wait each other out. The advantage was mine since she was the one to ask to talk. As I waited, I couldn't help but be very aware of just how well built she was to be such a large woman, though she wasn't large in the usual sense. She did have an extremely healthy looking bosom, but everything about her was compact, solid, that is. I could see why it was said that Alma wouldn't have tried anything with Haley if she had been around.

"Cate, if you don't mind me calling you Cate?" she paused.

"I prefer it from friends, so yes, please."

She brightened some at that. "Thanks, Cate, and as you know, I'm Jabs. It's a pun because of my last name, as you've no doubt figured out, but I do like to have long talks sometimes, so... Anyway, you were hard to find, Dr. Collins."

I grinned. So she knew something about me, which was okay, I hoped. As far as I knew, there was nothing to worry about as far as that was concerned.

"If Jade knew, she'd be even more impressed than she already is. But since she's so impressed now, I think I'll let her stay that way," her easy words and manner were quickly becoming infectious. "Cate, I won't beat around the bush much longer. I heard about what Alma pulled, and how you helped Haley, and I think it's great that you did. However, I also understand that Haley presents a mild problem to you at times with her attachment to you. I hate to say it, but it may get worse tonight," she paused.

Again, I waited her out, sipping as she did.

"Did you hear about what went on last week?"

"At the club, I take it you mean? If so, no."

"Haley went out to her car for something or other, but then I saw Attila, Alma, and those others in their bunch leave. At first, I thought nothing of it, but then a while later, I wondered why they'd all leave since they usually stayed. In fact, I'd never seen them leave early. It bothered me enough that I went out with Sally, and Penny, Ariel's and Caryn's partners."

She stopped to take another long drink. "This is good. Can I have that second cup?" she asked suspiciously. There was no way I was going to like what was coming next, and I knew it. She was troubled, able as she was of taking care of herself in a lesbian club. Pouring us both a second cup, and each of us fixing them to our liking, she tried another sip before going on.

"Cate, I was shocked, and frankly, so much so that I paused, and so did Sally and Penny. Haley was on the ground on her butt, her hands covering her face, and her top ripped open. No, they didn't yank her bra, or anything else, but the deed was done, whatever they deemed their deed should be."

No sooner had she started describing what she saw than my demeanor changed, and a rage started up in me, but so did the coldness and aloofness that I was feeling with Alma and just about as bad as when that spoiled son-of-a-bitch took my Lanie from me. Noticing her watching me, I prompted her to continue, but coldly.

"Go on," was all I said, and saw her looking at me harder, studying me. "All of it, please," I requested softly.

"Just before I started to them, I heard two things. The first was Alma telling all that Haley's position was just as she wanted her the better to sit her pussy on Haley's face. That really pissed me off, and I was ready to pummel them, but then I heard Attila with her words that chilled me. She said, 'If you think of going to the cops, just think of what fun we'll have with you afterward. You submissive bitch, you'll be servicing all of us for life, got that? Hell, we may do that now.' "

"I yelled at them, and we started to run at them, but the first thing was Haley, to get her away from them. Haley was crying out, again, two things. The first was that she'd not tell the police anything, but after that, she hollered out for you, and I do mean hollered, or is it wailed. I'm sorry to put this on you, Cate, but I thought you'd like to know since you would have anyway the next time you were there."

"Yes, thank you," I said woodenly, my cold rage becoming worst than an icy frost in me.

"Look, that's the only reason I'm telling you," Eleanore said. "I know how you helped Jade, but in no way am I suggesting that you settle things with them. The important thing, I'm sure you'll agree, is Haley. They traumatized the hell out of her. Since neither Jade nor anyone else knows anything about you, but how you've been with Haley so far, I didn't know what you might do or say, but as I said, Haley is the important consideration. I hope my telling you this won't get your dander up, but frankly, seeing you now, I wonder if I didn't make a mistake. Then again, as I said, you would have found out. If I may, I'd like to offer a thought for you."

Drinking my tea slowly, but steadily, I knew that somewhere in me, I already knew what I would do. Eleanore took the time to drink most of hers too. "More?" I asked, still with soft words that I knew she found too soft to be believed.

"Don't do it, Cate," she said softly, her hand touching mine gently.

I looked at her hand, then her eyes. We locked eyes, mine blank, I was sure, but her hand didn't leave mine.

"That's a marvelous group you all make. I've enjoyed watching all of you; it brings a sweetness to my heart that I've needed. Since all of you are very close, I take it that you know how to contact everyone?"

"Yes, I do," she said warily.

"If you think neither Sally nor Penny would mind, I'd like to talk to them, and maybe Ariel and Caryn, if you'd be so kind as to give me their numbers. Will you do that for me? And you're right, Haley is the important—and only—consideration."

Seeing her relax, I knew how she was thinking: I'd defused her mind's thoughts about what I'd do.

"I'm sure they wouldn't mind," she said, and pulled out a small notebook and tore a piece of paper off of it, and wrote their names and numbers. "One more thing, Cate—do you know about Haley? How she came to be what she figures is a submissive?"

I shook my head, and wondered what she knew.

"Are you sure you want to know, seeing as how she's so attached to you?"

"Yes," I answered immediately.

She told me. It was a psychological horror story as I'd not heard before, the only good thing being that Haley had miraculously made it this far sexually and more or less psychologically, intact. Haley was more or less wholly and totally deprived of all options available to most any newborn. It reminded me of my own sorry beginnings, but mine hadn't been so bad by comparison. I nearly broke down and cried, but I caught it right away.

Circumstances! Fortune's silly wiles! A combustible mix considering there were so many people in the world now, and far too many of them with evil in their minds and hearts, and in their deeds. Haley was a walking time bomb for being taken advantage of in ways that were too chilling. And all she'd ever found that she wanted was me. I honestly wished it were otherwise.

"Thank you, Eleanore. I'm glad you thought to stop by and tell me. Sorry you had such a hard time finding me, and I thank you for taking the trouble."

"Cate, I want to ask if I'm right in thinking you're not going to do anything rash. I know you have your doctorates, and that takes a lot of doing, but..."

I smiled, and wondered if she knew the falsity of it. "Don't worry, Haley is my focus here. She must be looked after first and foremost. Again, thank you," I told her with my most doctoral face and demeanor.

"I'm glad I talked to you. Jade was right about you, you are a most worthwhile person. My words, but hers were similar. She likes you as much as Haley seems to love you, and I do believe that Haley does love you, Cate, if that's worth anything to you."

"Yes, and thanks," I responded as if pacifically.

"You're welcome, and thanks for the tea. And if you'd like, please do join us at our table. We'd all love to have you, and there's no match making in that."

We hugged, and she didn't hold back. It was as if we were parting friends who wouldn't see each other for a long time. Lastly, of course, we exchanged kisses on the cheek before she left.

When she was gone, I went to my favorite sitting chair, and let what would come to me come as it would, and what came is an anger and rage worse than I'd had with Lanie's death, and though I did feel guilt over feeling my anger so strongly, it didn't keep me from sitting and letting it all come to me. My beginnings not being too dissimilar to Haley's, and what had just been done to her similar as had been done to Lanie, I knew the rage was well justified in me, thus I let it do as it would, but did all I could to be as objective about it all as I possibly could. I did need objectivity in this, and was thankful for my ability to focus.

Chapter 11

As I sensed my rage continuing, I still went to see Ariel and Caryn, as well as Sally and Penny. They said much as Eleanore had told me, Ariel and Caryn from talking with Haley afterward, and Sally and Penny first hand as they saw it. There was no deviance. None of them divined the rage that seethed in me, and right off, were glad to give me how to contact Haley. Jade being the only one that knew about me, I gave them a vision of me that said I was uncertain. To do what I knew I had to was going to require more than slight deception, but I knew how I'd do it.

Lanie and I had spoken very openly and frankly about all things sexual, and a lot of that time was on submissiveness. We'd both experienced it, Lanie experimentally, and me as a practical thing that Lanie had put me through from her knowledge and experience with it. In other words, I understood Haley's world, and what its grip on her was. It was an addiction that I sensed she'd probably never get out of, it was so deeply ingrained into her from birth, then by the continual trauma from her mother, well-intended though it was. I would be very careful with her. Extremely careful!

* * * *

Haley was thrilled that I'd asked her to go to the club with me. Picking Haley up, and taking her kiss that she insisted on giving me, we went to the club. When I told her part of what I planned to do, there was a great fear in her, but her trust in me was too great in her, so she agreed. No one knew what I had in mind to do save Jade, who owed me, or so she thought. Frankly, I'd confided in her because of the logistics, and because I knew I could trust her whether she went along with me or not. She did go along with me, and gladly, it seemed. At the table Haley was accustomed to being at, she smiled bravely as I had told her to, and gave a worried glance back. Why it was so was an oddity; the group of would be butches sat at the table just to the rear of them. That's how I'd always seen it. Was that by design, or just a matter of more unfortunate circumstances?

Everyone gladly greeted me with their hugs and kisses, all of which I sensed were genuine, authentic in every respect. They were an unusual gathering of people with good hearts, but unable to divest themselves of the evil that sat just behind them. It seemed laughably prophetic, but I knew that as complex as our world was becoming, this probably happened more often than we cared to admit. It was easier to do wrong than to wonder how to do things right, kinder, gentler. Laziness, avarice, and ease won out almost every time.

"Dance as if you're teaching me, which you are," I told Haley as I tried to act as if I had no idea of how to dance, save that it was no act. Still, my bumbling ways fit the deception I was allowing their lazy minds to see.

"I'm scared, Cate. Take me with you now. Please. I promise I'll do whatever you say. Please," she nervously said softly in my ear.

"You can do this. You can show me a part of how you're ready to obey me," I gave her a part of what she craved. "The question is whether you truly do desire me only."

"I do," she nervously responded. "I—I'll do it. I will," she said more to herself than to me, fortifying herself to do as I asked her to.

Back at the table, acting the embarrassed fool, hearing the sniggers behind me, that oneness I had taught myself continued to boil in me, its certainty there and most deadly if I so chose it to be. For what I planned to do, I was glad that I'd never taken up the martial arts instructors' prodding to enter competitions. There was no public record of me anywhere save that I'd taken the classes several times.

Glancing back many times, feigning fear was no act on Haley's part, nor the trembling in her voice.

"Cate, I'm scared," she whispered several times, yet loud enough for those behind us to hear.

"Don't worry. After we go to the police tomorrow, everything will be all right. They won't dare to go near you. We'll get a restraining order, and maybe they'll even spend time in jail. Those cowards deserve that," I said as if trying to also whisper unheard, but again, making sure they heard it, that it pricked their ears and their egos.

"Haley, are you okay?" one of the group asked, as if on cue, though wholly unaware of the scenario I'd been orchestrating.

"Yes. I—I think so."

"Relax and enjoy the night. Tomorrow all will be better. They'll not ever bother you again. They only picked on you because they thought they could get away with it."

I saw their interest, and I also noted Eleanore's interest, her mind working in wonder at the difference in me. She'd only known me from the one talk, so her conscious mind wouldn't put it all together until it was over, and even then, I knew she'd wonder at it.

"Please, Cate," Haley once more tried to look back in fear, but unable.

"Maybe you just need some fresh air. I should have explained it to you better before, so maybe I can do it outside to ease your mind. Come on, let's go," I said, and rose, pulling Haley with me.

"We'll be right back," I told the others. "She just needs a little air."

Going out, I saw Jade nod lightly to me. In the parking lot, I found a spot that was as open as I would need. As much as I was pretending to be on the outside, within me I was someone else, completely devoid of my outer persona, and it comforted me with a certainty I felt strongly.

"Just do as I told you before. Where my hand seems to urge you to move, do it, but slowly unless I push you hard. Can you do that?" I questioned her pointedly.

Working herself up, she finally said, "Yes," with as much conviction as she could muster. "I'll do it," she had no trouble saying, and positively.

I sensed that she was ready, and just in time, too. They all came out as a group. Looking as if trying to find a way to escape the obvious, I saw Jade ready, and well hidden.

"You know, I had no idea you were such a dumb bitch," the leader of the group, the one that everybody called Attila, said. "Shit, Alma, she ain't even a pussy. Then again, her tits look pretty good. How about I find out about them while you feed your pussy to the little bitch you've been looking at so much."

"Yeah, that's a good idea, 'n her tits are nice too. After that, the others can feed her some too; she looks real hungry," she gloated as the rest sniggered. Haley's fear was palpable; I sensed her fright, how it nearly had her out of her wits.

I touched her, and she must have felt the surety of my inner person, my lack of fear. I hoped she'd hold it for a few more moments.

"We don't want any trouble. If you touch either of us, we'll go to the police," I said, easing us back some, but not much, just enough to convey sudden fear and a wish to run if we could, which I knew we couldn't for I'd made sure they'd know it. I'd trapped us intentionally.

"Yeah, sure, just like she did before. What we're going to do is to give you a sample of how it's gonna be for both of you," she said, looking with lust as my breasts rose and fell wildly as I had purposely made them do. "Yeah, I think those tits are ready for me. Take your bitch, Alma," she commanded. Alma moved slowly, leering at Haley.

"Don't touch her," I said, putting some fear into my voice where there truly was no fear, only the knowledge of what I wanted to do becoming a near fact. I'd gently prodded Haley as I wanted her to move, and noted she did so as I wished. She was holding up marvelously, and it gladdened my heart.

Sneering, Alma did as I expected—and so did Attila who after tonight would be known as Attila the plucked hen. Alma laughed at me, and moved again. That was my signal to do as I wanted.

Quickly, before she knew it, as she reached out for Haley, I had snapped a kick to her overly large stomach, then, as I had practiced often, the leg that kicked the surprised Alma, swung swiftly as my grounded foot spun, bent slightly, then pushed me up as I was now facing Attila.

Both of my feet now in the air, the stunned Attila could only watch as my kick foot once again snapped on her face, breaking both nose and mouth as I knew my foot hit where I wanted it to. Though I'd never thought to need to use it, I was glad that I'd practiced that move often.

Turning smoothly as if all had been only one motion, Alma was getting up. Uncertain as to whether she should rush me or not, she took my next kick right on her face, again, where I wanted it too hit her, and taking out her cheek and jaw.

"The rest of you?" I asked, looking at those others who were in shock and frozen. "No? Then stay where you are and see what's in store for you if I ever see any of you again."