by wuzgnu
This is an excellent start to this story! Keep it up!
ever wonder why they have a SCI-FI area it's so idiots like you have a place to put your mutant stories try using it from now on
The only thing I disliked was the paragraph where you introduced 12, 13 people in two sentences. I can't keep any of them apart and therefore can't empathize with any of them. Please keep that in mind for the next time... It's promising though. Keep it up.
A really great beginning. Liked the technical "cause". Take your time and expand the story. Maybe breaking it into small groups of family. A shame about the age barrier imposed here.
I think you need to expand the story.I liked the technical start but there wasn't enough results.To many people involved and not enough detail on individual charectors.The story was a little to short.
I do hope you take the story a little further and continue the plot.