Gift From A God Ch. 10

I gave an inward sigh of relief. Kristel noticed, and asked, "Steve, is everything okay. You really look bad."

My initial reaction was to play it off, but that didn't go so well with her last time I tried it. She was getting too good at reading my moods. And anyway, I had to talk to someone. My mind was racing in so many different directions that I was being pulled apart. Was it me? It couldn't be me. If it was me, then why? What did it mean? Why had I turned evil? Did everyone they choose go through this? If so, why go through all the trouble if the selected person burned out in a month or two? Where was the gain? If things progressed much farther I'd surely kill someone. Why this, why that, etc. etc. etc. I'd been freezing my ass off on the deck for the last few hours and had nothing to show for it but toes that would have turned black from the cold on a normal person.

"I think..." I paused, and I felt my brow draw together in frustration. Best start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. "When you read you begin with A, B, C." I mumbled to myself, but it was out loud and Kristel heard it.

"When you sing you begin with Do, Re, Mi," She chimed back. I looked up at her, somewhat surprised. "I love the Sound of Music."

"Ahh," I said, and smiled, suddenly very glad I wasn't alone.

"If we're going to talk, can we at least go inside, it's really cold." She shivered and wrapped the cover tighter around herself.

"Oh, sorry." With I blink I hurled several logs from the stack along the door to the fire pit, and a second later they were ablaze with a loud woosh of sound. It was nonchalant for me, but Kristel nearly fell off the chair.

"Crap, I'm sorry Kristel." I sat up and pulled her besides me. There was just enough room for us to snuggle and I opened my blanket to let her scoot in and we overlapped them. The fire began to warm our chilly toes.

"Don't worry about it," she said, smiling. "I guess I should be used to stuff like that by now. How do you do it? Can I learn?"

"I just...want it to happen and it does. The same way you wiggle your fingers or scratch your nose. And about learning...I don't know that it's worth the price."

She waited for me to continue. The anguish was apparently written all over my face. She knew enough not to say anything.

Just as when I returned from the desert, he eyes offered solace. There was such acceptance there that it nearly broke my heart. Suddenly the words came out in a rush. "I think that I'm going crazy. These things I do, they apparently have side effects, only no one told me. Unless I can find a way to fix it, I might really hurt someone. Maybe even kill them. It's happened already, but I was able to stop it at the last minute. The last time though, I almost couldn't. It's getting harder. I try to ask questions but no one will answer me. I can't even find the right people to ask the questions to. The only one offering up anything is the voice in my head and I can't trust that to help me remember the date." I took a breath.

"You have voices in your head?" she asked quizzically.

"Well...yeah." I shrugged uncomfortably. " Sort of. Just one."

"Are you like The Son of Sam? Are you going to start murdering people and claim it was the voices?"

"Voice." I corrected her, as if it made a huge amount of difference. A crazy voice was a crazy voice, after all.

"Voice," she conceded.

I really didn't know how to respond to that one. How could I know what I would do if I didn't figure this out?

"I think..." I paused to choose my words carefully, "that if I could get a hold of the one's who did this to me that I could figure it out, but I don't exactly have a number to call."

"And I don't suppose you want to tell me whothey are?" she asked.

"No, I can't babe. God only knows what would happen then. It's bad enough as it is. I've probably told you too much already. Don't worry though, I won't let anything happen to you, I swear." I pulled her tight against me and buried my nose in her hair. I wouldn't let myself harm her either. I didn't care if it cost me my own life, I wouldn't allow them orHim hurt her. Or Katie.

"So is this why you look so stressed?" Her hand was under my shirt, stroking my chest. I saw the mist of her breath explode from her mouth and fade away as she spoke each word. The sun was getting high enough that the light was creeping up onto the porch. Another five minutes and it'd be at our feet.

"Yeah. I'm terrified that something bad will happen."

Her arm snaked under my back and wrapped around my waist, hugging me tight. "It will work out, Steve, don't worry."

She said it so simply, so matter-of-factly, that I wanted to cry. She had such faith in me. It was almost child-like. And I was the one who only three hours before had almost taken her life.

"Kristel I..." My voice trailed off. In that absence of words was all that needed to be said.

"Shh. I know." She leaned up and kissed me gently.

We snuggled down and finished watching the sun rise. The logs burned and crackled at our feet, keeping us warm enough to endure the cold and said nothing for awhile.

"I seem to recall," Kristel said slyly. "You telling me that I could have almost anything I want."

"Yeah, that's what I said. Why, what does your heart desire?"

"An omelet. With bell peppers and some pepper jack cheese. Hold the onions."

"I make a great omelet," I told her.

"I bet you do."

"Then an omelet you shall have. Katie's waking up anyway, we shouldn't leave her alone."

"How do you know that?" She looked up at me.

I gave her a wink and she laughed. "Come on, breakfast in thirty minutes."

"Goody!"