All Comments on 'Guilt Ch. 04'

I guess I don't quite know what to make of the story now, or the chapter 4 I just read. More moves than a college scatback running to avoid tackles. Who all is/are going to end up in bed with how many in the next chapter, and just how much angst will the next shennanigans cause?

Only one way to find out and that is to wait and read what happens next.

I share the confusion. These two people seemed to have a moment of weakness at the same time. I think he was an ass not to tell her after her own confession (who DID tell her?) but that seems to have worked it's way through. I'm not sure if he is trustworthy although he seems to be trying. The wife is a whole other story. She seems to be suffering from some form of mental illness and subject to emotional mood swings and problems with rational thought. She seems to enter into strange moods for all sorts of reasons. So, can she be trusted. NO! On the other hand she really can't help herself. So where does that leave them? Many people can accept wacky behavior from a spouse if it's something that is truly uncontrollable. Would you divorce your wife if she was struggling with kleptomania? However, he doesn't seem to be really grasping the full impact of her problems. So he is going to be pretty shocked the next time she goes off the rails. I think the presence of mental illness makes it much more difficult to set a course of action. It's a horrible situation to be in but it's hard to place blame. Don't know if there is going to be more but if there is I hope it leads to some progress, not just her falling back into more problems. Been there, done that. Move the story along to some resolution.

very silly story told by a confused author.

....the behaviors at least credible, though odd.Thanks.

Well written story. But these two need to sit down and work out what is wrong with Janet. It sounds to me like she is a sex addict and won't ever be faithful to Dave ever again. I hope they work things out.

Personally while I don't want to abuse authors, I personally believe yo-yo stories reach a point where the author needs to just let it die.

What I mean by that is this.

First you build up the story, and at the start you make the reader pretty much dislike the husband when they read about him in the first story. He's cheating on his wife, and while he has no good reason for it, he did it. Then you start trying to make the reader feel sorry for the main character. He is so guilt ridden that you start to feel bad for him.

Then in the second you make it so that the reader again dislikes the main character because when his wife tells him that she cheated on him at the same time he cheated on her, he then gets all righteous on her. And you as a reader feels that he's a hypocrite. But that's only until you read in the story that the wife enjoyed the sex in the affair so much than sex with him that she had to "lie" to him to make him feel better about what she did because the sex was so much better with her mystery man that she knew the husbands ego (not to mention the marriage) wouldn't survive the truth.

So you start to really dislike her.

But then you add in the third story that she's on meds. Kind of left that out in the first two stories, but it seems it was only added as a new way to try and make the reader feel bad for her, and because of an imbalance she's not rational and not at fault for any of her actions taken while she's not on them.

So now some readers are on the fence about her.

But meanwhile the husband's character is still acting like jerk, but the reader realizes that he doesn't know he's been lied too. So as a reader you feel bad for the wife for the abuse she has to put up with at the husbands hand, but at the same time you don't feel "too" bad because of all the lying she's doing to the husband under the guise of it being the best thing to do to fix her marriage. Most readers see this as a "shame" fix at best.

Then you have "THIS" story.

Here the wife figures out the husband cheated too, and confronts him and they "appear" to work out the rough edges, but then you throw in the fact that on the night she was drunk while they were on vacation she gets sexually assaulted and Carlos lies for her to help keep her secret and "hey what's one more lie" if it helps keep the marriage rolling. Then again you dislike her for it.

HUH???

See yo-yo writing. You keep making the reader hate then feel sorry for then hate then feel sorry for the characters, and its a never ending "frustrating" cycle. Some might like it, but you have to ask yourself if they like that level of frustration, then why??

Its best to just let them move on with their lives and quit this storyline. In the end I don't like any of the characters anymore. I kept hoping you might balance them out into something reasonable, but you keep introducing new things (like the wives meds problem) to make the reader feel sorry for her, then you throw in a new curve to make them totally dislike her again.

Why??

-Risq

as always. Being the kind of author you are I would not be surprised if Risq's analysis of what you were trying to do to the reader is correct. My name for the story would be a Russian doll puzzle story or an Onion story. Everytime you turn around things change which make the story interesting and worthwhile for this reader. The ideas of inviting Janet along for the trip to Dallas, and of getting an unlisted number were good ones but basically there is very little to like about either protagonist. But then who do you like in Wuthering Heights? The suspicion here is that many of the readers need to identify with characters in order to live vicariously through the stories and their characters...

Good story, you had to feel sorry for both of them.

She definitely has a chemical imbalance in her brain.

Thanks for the good story

Personally, I wouldn't trust the bitch out oif my sight. She is going to screw up big time!

This series is each just a bit and piece of a work scheduled to come out in January in paperback. Of course the final version is much more fluid.

I posted here attempting to make each stand alone, curious as to reactions.

From those reactions which are all over the map, it appears I accomplished my goal.

Be sure and buy the book, it will have the conclusion. Plus I can use the money! LoL.

MGM

She's got some kind of mental condition and there's no way he can trust her.

She can't trust herself. She needs more help than just the meds can provide to make this marriage work.

If not she will have another episode just like she had on the beach that he doesn't know about. And from reading her last thoughts in this chapter it is just a matter of time.

Well lets see if you end it or fix her problems.

Thanks for writing!

This woman needs to be in the loony house, she is one sick bitch. A closet whore, skank, slut. It is a wonder or why he stays with her--Clara is a better woman.

These things happen and are hell to try to live with. If he can handle it it still will be a constant struggle.

Carla on the beach WAS bad but look what brought it on. David was still emotionally distant, getting drunk, and fighting with anyone that happened to look their way. They went on a trip to heal and instead he was making it worse. But at least she came to before she went past the point of no return.

But yeah I think she needs to see a doctor, i think they both do. But at least they both seemed to realize their love for eachother and their committment to making the marriage work.

Terrific story and terrifically written. A couple of pecadildos, I didn't really love the main characters, or for that matter all of the secondary players (Martha, Molly, Carla, Sandra were not very likable and a bit one dimensional...by the way where were any male characters other than a bit part played by Carlos) The main characters are obviously hard to like as they are both guilty, (I get that) but there were times when the author could have made them more likable...the only smile I had was produced when Randy got beat up. Both David and Janet needed a close friend. Also there were too many ups and downs with the two major players...towards the end the roller coaster almost became repetitive...been there read that. The tension of telling vs not telling wasn't strong enough. I wish there was more drama (death? preggors? Armageddon?). Loved all the irony, that was fun...and the theme of guilt was brilliantly woven throughout. I have always enjoyed reading this author and can't wait to see how the book behaves versus this story. I will happily donate a royalty penny or two...good luck magma man.

Two things. The first is is there really a medical condition that makes you unable to say no to strange men if you don't take a pill? And 2nd, if I were a wife trying to reconnect with my husband on a cruise after an infidelity, I just might try and not make my husband jealous. I don't know, but wearing a sheer dress and no underwear while dancing with a strange man and flashing the crowd doesn't seem like a good strategy, given the circumstances. Not if she wants to stay with her husband.

Four fucking chapters. I just wasted my time reading what turned out to be a fucking cheating whore slut wife cunt story. Had I realised from the beginning I would have stopped. Janet became her mother, another cheating slut wife. What a fucking disappointment.

FUCK

Pretty good story. Dragged a bit at times, but mostly read smoothly. David was reasonably intelligent and made a good living; illogical that he, with his worry and suspicion, did not simply hire a private detective to keep track of his wife. Also, with their relationship circling the drain, I'm surprised they did not go for counseling.

Janet made a conscious decision not to take her anti-depressants. When one fails to take one's medicine, bad things can happen. If high blood pressure medicine is stopped, and the high blood pressure is not controlled, one can have a premature stroke or heart attack. Just stopping depression medicine can result in suicide, or other unwanted behavior (i.e., cheating). I think Janet needs to revisit her shrink for more treatment.

Finally, karate needs to be practiced. Dave's moves against Randy are typical movie drama fantasies; in real life, most men can't pull that off without going to the Dojo on a regular basis. But it gives the reader a boost, that at least David has some balls, instead of his just being passive and helpless. Thanks for writing.

There is only just so much passing the buck one can do before owning ones own behavior and decisions -

She is a ticking bomb waiting to go of again and again -

Nicely written -

Just a whore waiting to get out, they never change. He's no prize either.

She was looking to fuck someone else and will never stop. He made a mistake, while she went out to do it.

Ignore the anonymous posters who hate women. Especially ignore Betrayedbylove, he needs serious professional help.

You tale was well developed, shows how difficult a mental illness can be on everyone. Thanks for your effort.

She is going to do it again. The right circumstance will present itself and she will (happily) reluctantly allow herself to be seduced! Help, help - oooohh, that feels good - don't stop!

Thanks again for the story and she really isn't mad at him about Carla...hmmm - closet slut? She is beginning to know who she is.

Thanks!

You should have stopped with the first chapter. That at least allowed the reader to write a somewhat funcutional ending. A story where pretty much every person and every relationship is severely disfunctional and you end hoping all of the characters get what is coming to them, is truly not very enjoyable.

Was the conclusion of this story published in a paperback in 2011? If so, what was the title and who sells it?

divorce and get a good wife

You clearly chose to end it without resolution and with a great deal of uncertainty about this marriage. Not what I would have liked - I favor the happy endings. However, this mirrored real life. It was actually quite brilliant. I was thinking there was clearly something wrong with this woman mentally, and then the end confirmed it. Five stars. One of my favorites on this site. Pleasantly surprising.

"Janet also knew that in the future, she would need to be very careful. She was not sure she could ever trust herself again."

This was such a powerful revelation. I was shocked when I read it. Totally out of left field. She had me convinced, and then . . . Pow! But it wasn't so shocking that it was in conflict with the rest of the story. Looking back through hind site, it all fit. That is brilliant writing.

Okay...on the good side. You had real characters. Carla was a bit of a slut. Sluttier than your run of the mill woman but I'm sure such a girl exists, so I can't ding you for that.

I think you captured some of the wildly swaying emotions on both their parts. Her hesitations, conflicting desires, shame etc. His rang pretty true as well. She got a bit snippy pretty quickly about the suspicions. He had every right to be suspicious.

And I like the whole 'genie let out of the bottle' aspect. I didn't really understand the drug aspect. That was glossed over or not sufficiently explained for me. She was normal because she was sneaking medication? Her depression was still ongoing? Hmm...that I ask this question should tell you something.

As to the bad...writing style. While it isn't the worst, the jumping back and forth was irritating and sometimes repetitive. Because frankly, her perspective seldom (not always) added anything extra.

And yes, she was WAY too normal about his affair. But hubby never addressed this at all. She never divulged why this was so and except for maybe the drugs, the author never gave us a pay off either.

Slightly above average imagination, nice flow, some jarring bits (ending part one with a 'I'm going to reveal everything' then NOT having he hubby confess...wtf?)

Certainly not a waste of time, but a style editor might have been helpful.

Too much jumping back and forth.

OK he made a mistake with Carla but the wife is just a whore...she knew what she was doing and was going to get fucked when she went on the beach...she is a mental case and it wont be long before she finds another guy to fuck around with....he needs to get rid of the skank and find someone decent like Martha......women are just whores who only worry when they get found out....I know I was married to one who fucked around and got pregnant with her brother lover then passed it off as mine.....

She was always a whore. She didn't really care about Dave having fucked Carla, because she was fucking anything with a swinging dick. And with her amazing ability to lie to herself, it's probable that Randy wasn't the first. DNA test time! Both are worthless cheaters, but at least he seemed to regret it, and seemed to never want it to happen again. She is cheating at every turn, and even at the end, she is planning on more, except this time vowing to be more careful, and to push down the guilt and keep her mouth shut.

A nice house fire, killing them both would have been a nicer ending.

This guy sucks,,, he is no hero... He likes sucking cum out if his whore of a wife.. Pathetic creep

But she is worse! Just another slut! I have more respect for a whore if she would just admit that she's a whore and not lie about it because once you lie, it never ends. actually, they both deserve each other.

Dick sucker ,author or both

Her performance flirting with Carlos and then letting herself be sexually assaulted in Mexico when they were trying to build fences makes you loose what little respect you had for her. He at least was more consistent.

Skipped through passages in frustration so may read again before marking but strong feeling of dissatisfaction pervades after reading.

Good news is that it was well written.

Thanks for the offering. This story definitely leaves the reader wanting more. Her depression is a mitigating factor in her behavior. Will she cheat again? That's the million dollar question. You should write a sequel.

Janet will cheat again, the next time she needs that out-of-control feeling. She's accustomed to lying to Dave now (thanks, Mom) and the third cheat is always easier.

The locus of destruction in this tangle of derangement is the husband. He is passive-aggressive, weak, brooding, and extremely ineffective as a man who should be leading the relationship with his wife.

Every day a mother expends an enormous amount of energy caring for, nurturing, and loving her children. But what does this mother have in her husband? A spineless jagoff who can't even get up and dance a bit with her and instead throws her to the wolves.

In the end the author has hubby seemingly man-up a little bit, but it is WAY too late by then. That whole turn of events in no way attenuates the husband's responsibility for his marriage careening off a cliff.

Much ink has been spilled on the confusion in this story, and I can definitely agree with plenty of the complaints. It has been said that the husband has become unlikable, and I easily agree with that. It has been said that the woman is off the rails so to speak, and I agree with that - although I feel that her mental weakness was unnecessarily escalated by the author.

Janet's twilight zone fugue-state ramblings in the end reminded me of Norman Bates in the police station. What's the fucking point of taking it in to that level? That really came out of nowhere. Janet didn't have to be turned into a pressure-cooker nutcase with an exploding beaver, wtf.

At face value, the circumstances of the Mexican beach rape are evidence of her self-destructive behavior - not mental illness per se, but rather a cry for help, so to speak. It was only at the end of the story that the author decided to get her rambling on and on to herself like a wack job. Earlier in this mess of a story she has completely understandable confusion and disappointment with her husband's extended absence, but no mania - that came later when the author was trying to find any and every excuse on earth to cover up the One Thing that the husband sorely lacked: Balls, and the momentum to swing them around a bit.

Balls. It's as if this rare earth man-metal has disappeared all together and has become too politically incorrect to even mention.

If he had been on the case with her, acting like a man and giving the relationship some direction and not acting like a simpering idiot, you can be damn sure her affair would either never have materialized or would have been reduced to a single incident - bad enough though that would be. Can one doubt the salubrious and bracing effect of a husband's manly behavior on his wife? Go ahead, laugh it up.

This whole story hinges on the first Randy-incident where spongecake hubby is so weak in the middle that he can't do the right thing: sweep his wife off her feet. He convinces himself that it is more important to drool over his wife's charms while another man is actually enjoying them. That is getting into wife-watching/cuckold territory.Yes, it is seemingly innocent "dancing", but it is actually a pivotal point in the story, so it needs to be seen from every angle. He is wife-watching and he is at fault for letting this whole thing start.

His wife - the Virgin Bride - suffers the insult of her sulking husband's intransigence as he sits, immobilized on the sideline, watching another man squeeze some juice out of her pussy. He should be beaten within an inch of his life.

Janet or any wife is not mentally ill if her body is responding sexually when she is dancing with handsome and entertaining men - holding her close in strong arms and pressing their molten erections against her while exuding an intoxicating, manly scent. Is that rocket science or something? Any husband that would consent to this type of situation is asking for trouble. Maybe both spouses LIKE the incitement, bla bla bla, whatever. But a woman will arrive home soaking wet if she spends an evening being kneaded in the arms of willing men. Why would any sane reader express all of this stupefaction if a woman falls over the edge when she is thrown headlong into a mosh pit of hot, wagging erections? Yes, Janet is definitely mentally weak. But hey, guess the fuck what, she is a naive, inexperienced woman who is not used to fighting off suave pickup artists - a Virgin Bride for chrissakes! But her spineless husband is too effeminate to assert himself and call it what the fuck it is. So he relents and sends his wife to be prepped for slaughter.

Later in the story when Randy calls her she is already halfway there. It's too late. The husband's total lack of direction for the relationship has already poisoned the marriage. His wife's pussy takes over when hubby's balls have shrunken to the size of green peas.

Also, to see this guy pour his guts out to the mother in law about his own indiscretion was just sickening. What a sissy. There are simply no words to describe what a weenie he is. I'll try, though: He is a walking Mangina.

This husband is such a headcase that even after everything; after he presides over the innocence being brutally beaten out of his marriage, he can't even tell Carlos "No" at the Mexican resort dance party. The author has Carlos supposedly redeemed in the end, but how can it be justified that again hubby has no spine to tell another potential predator "No". He is so fucking clueless he let's her go AGAIN. The rapists were probably off on the sidelines watching.

The point is that he could have taken an opportunity to let his wife know that he was finally in charge; that he was going to take the marriage somewhere healthy. That is the very reason for their trip down to Mexico in the first place! Instead he ends up throwing in the towel and getting pathetically drunk after another Carlos incident. He is so absolutely craven. Is it against the law to ask for the assassination of a fictional character?

A woman is a child when her pussy is wet. Any man that doesn't take heed is a fucking fool. If the woman is actually your WIFE and you are letting this shit happen to her then you are a despicable bastard.

These two are doomed. Their marriage has been destroyed. Their children are doomed.

Awful ending, yet more secrets, she doesn't trust herself, seems like Dave shouldn't either.

Why, would any sane man stay married to that fruitcake?

CH s. 01&02 She confessed if he had confessed to a lot of heart ache could have been dealt with very quickly.

They are as bad as one another, I got the impression that the tablet had some thing to do with her mental help when she didn't take it she had difficulty controlling herself. He had no such excuse, he should make sure she takes her medication in future.

What a fucked up woman. I wonder you did not take this story to some conclusion. Guess you got kind of tired of it too?

Shes delusional

Things are okay for today but not sure I could give the marriage much of a long term chance.

Thanks for the story. Lots to consider.

She wasn't really faithful and in the end, you are left thinking that it's just a matter of time until she falls off the wagon. Again.

So is the youngest baby her lover's bastard?

Yeesh, talk about a dysfunctional couple. These two belong with each other, if only to keep them away from the rest of the dating pool.

Reading comments on here is always a shit show. So many fucking morons.

Like the anon from 8 years ago...who wrote a fucking book of rambling nonsense.

Dude...if I could go back in time and find you typing away on that mess you posted? I'd bitch slap you so fucking hard.

Whoever you are...you just come off like a damned fool. The characters are fictional!!

Some people seriously need a life.

I expected her to knocked up by Randy

Then in Mexico she is filled with the biggest cock of her life and now has a std but still horny for more

She is mental and now a slut

A rambling mess about a weak man and a slut in the making