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All Comments on 'Halloween Night of Firsts'
by Txdelicatablegrl
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sackover 18 years agothere is so much happening here...
You could have made this into three short stories!! You might want to consider using longer paragraphs. The constant succession of short paragraphs makes your ideas appear a bit choppy and the story tends to be more jumpy because it.
Anonymousover 18 years agoTotally Naughty and Loving Every Minute of It
It was totally naughty! I love your style of writing!!!
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