All Comments on 'Hard Time'

ill-concieved... bad characterizations, terrible dialogue, and even worse punctuation. you should just stop...

This sounds more like a bragging session than an erotic story.

This is an interesting story line, but there a lot of minor writing flaws. And really, it became tedious in the last half of the story.

Don't give up, but do get a good editor and work on cutting out unimportant details.

I look forward to your next story.

I looked at your bio to see if you were male or female. With all the descriptions of the clothing, materials, and colors, you sound very much like a female writer such as Nora Roberts does in her stories.

If you are male, get your gonads together and write like a man and not so much "fluffy" suff in your stories.

Joe

Are you a stenographer taking detailed notes of a trial or telling a story? Did you count the peas on your plate and the threads in your sheet too?

FAR too much detail about every little thing and almost no romance to speak of. Foreordained or by the way sex scenes. You know you are writing on Literotica right?

Hate to tell you because most people don't realize this but a sentence of 25 years would have really been only 12.5 years so he would have been out in 97/98. Don't ask me why they do it that way but that is how it works out most of the time.

Some really good story line mixed with excessive detail, I mean really the description of the Laundry was waaayyyy too much.

23 years for a first offence - hell, first degree murder doesn't get hit that hard.

Interesting but the "Hard Time" was in reading it.

Punctuation is your friend, learn to say hello to it once in a while. As for the rest of the 'story', endless wardrobe lists and descriptions of your dream home are hardly erotic, or even interesting, so note to self; write the sex with as much detail as you describe your kitchen and you may get some favorable comments. Also, the sentence was unrealistically harsh, even in a boneheaded, redneck state like Kentucky; the main character should have been out in 12.5 years, if he'd even been handed 25 in the first place for a first offense at his age, which is highly unlikely, bordering on impossible; 5 to 10 is more likely, so check the statutes before writing an 'oh feel sorry for me' improbability like that. Not good, not plausible, not interesting, and certainly not erotic, no stars.

I read literotica for some spice not to be bored out of my skull on extraneous details about his wardrobe or house. Get with the program and MAN-UP or get off this site. This story was a waste of time.