Her Name Was Miss Mary

I took Mary to Steak and Ale for our dinner as it was my favorite steakhouse at the time. We garnered quite a few stares from the people around us, both black and white. Remember, it was 1980 and seeing a middle-aged black woman with a 25 year old white man was not the norm or as accepted as it is most places today. I'd catch them looking or hear a whisper and a quick look from me would end the issue. I could tell it bothered Mary somewhat but she would smile and take my hand and say something about them being jealous of her being with such a fine looking man. I of course would jokingly agree. I also remember telling her how beautiful she was and no other woman there could hold a candle to her. Then I would speak French to her like I was some romantic French guy trying to steal her away from her boyfriend.

"Mon du Mary! Vous êtes si beau. Venez loin avec moi à mon appartement ainsi nous peut faire l'amour passionné." I said in my best campy French accent.

Mary would giggle and soon the others around us were forgotton. She would ask me what I said ("My Mary. You are so beautiful. Come away with me to my apartment so we can make passionate love.") and I would tease her into trying to guess what the words meant. Then I said to her, "Je t'aime, Mary. Je vous adore". She smiled and looked down at her plate.

"I know what that means":, she said. "And you don't mean that".

I laughed and jokingly told her maybe I didn't love her (Je t'aime) but I did adore (Je vous adore) her.

The attitude of the people at the movie theater was pretty much the same as it had been in the restaurant but once the lights went out we were just two people holding hands in the crowded theater. Afterwards, we went back to my apartment for an evening of lovemaking and it was even grander, more erotic than our first time. I was beginning to think I might actually be falling in love with this very special woman. I hated to see the date end but end it did when I took her home early the next morning. I couldn't wait to see her again! I had no idea there would not be a second date.

Mary never came back into the store. She did not have a phone (thus the reason I didn't have her number) so I could not call her. My time doing security at that particular store was coming to an end and I wanted to continue seeing Mary, possibly as boyfriend-girlfriend. Frustrated at not seeing her, I waited about a week and went to her duplex. To hell with my being a gentleman! I knocked several times but no one answered. I went by three more times and even left a note in the next several weeks. On the last trip I saw that her duplex was empty. The note I had left on my last visit was gone, too.

I moved on to another combat store to work in an area that was even worse than the one I had came from. The company who owned the store was going to shut it down due to how bad it was there as the employees were in danger of being hurt just trying to do their jobs. Word had got out into the neighborhood that the store was closing and the volatile nature of the job seemed to go from bad to worse. Within two weeks of starting to work there, I was shot at on two separate occasions and nearly killed another man myself during an altercation that escalated to him reaching into his waistband for a weapon. Thankfully he stopped midway in his draw as I had already un-holstered and had my .357 magnum stuck in his face. Stu Carter was moved over to the store to help me out. I had not worked with Stu for about a month and it was good to have a partner I knew I could trust in a pinch. He may have been a moron when it came to women, but he was very good at being a police officer. About midway through our first shift together, he said he had something for me that had been dropped off at the other store with one of the day clerks. It was a sealed envelope addressed to me with a note inside. I opened it and saw it was from Mary.

I read the note then folded it up and put it in my pocket. It was short, to the point. Mary told me she had enjoyed our time together talking at the store and loved our "times" together away from there. She commented on how nice our date had been and what a gentleman I was, something she said she was not used to. She also mentioned that she was amazed that I did not "see color" and that I was so gentle and loving considering how I handled myself at work. But the main kicker, the gut-wrencher as it were, was the simple fact that we could not see each other again because I was white and she was black. The looks and whispers we had heard or received on our date bothered her greatly and she could not deal with it. She added that if we continued to see each other she could easily fall in love with me but that we would eventually experience nothing but pain and regret.

I worked the rest of my shift that night never letting on that I was upset. Stu asked me what the note said but I just waved him off, telling him it was just another love letter from my vast fan-club of ladies. But inside, my heart truly was hurting.

Maybe she was right. I don't know. But I do know that I would have liked to of at least given it a chance. A beautiful woman had entered my life and all too quickly exited. I could have cared less that she was black or I was white. I felt we could have dealt with it and I was devastated she did not feel the same.

I kept that note folded neatly in my wallet for about 15 years, just in case I would ever run into her. I wanted to give it back. Just walk up, hand it to her and walk away. But I never got the chance and eventually the note began to tear and I took it out and put it in my dresser. Eventually, it disappeared from my belongings, probably with my wife's assistance.

I never saw or heard from Mary again. Today she would be going on 68 or 69 years old and me, 53. I wonder about her, pray for her and even though I have been happily married for 24 years to a wonderful woman, I inexplicitly still ache for her. If it had been 2008 instead of 1980, I think we would have made a go of it.

Au revoir Mary. J'espère que vous avez eu une bonne vie. Goodbye Mary. I hope you have had a good life.

Now I have closure.