All Comments on 'Her Problem Ch. 07'

by mikoli5763

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  • 121 Comments
NallusNallus4 months ago

Six 5s and a 4, nice story. I liked that most issues were addressed, as much as how.

However, she would have already been keenly aware of her BC pills and possibilities. Also, 'it being only days ago', or not, his assertiveness on his reawakening seemed not appropriate, he was after all, on her estate, with her in charge of ... how much?

AnonymousAnonymous7 months ago

Quite a cluster "bleep". Wtf?

Busman19639Busman196399 months ago

What a fantasy and a lot of it unbelievable but still a nice tale and a good ending.

servant111servant1119 months ago

Total cluster f-ck of a chaotic disaster of a tale.. Worst case of broken logic, total dearth of ANY real forshadowing...etc and etc and etc.. You have also provided the worst case of a utterly out of control Deux Ex Machina exterior stage entrance in the Automobile wreck nonsense that forms the new and inexplicable foundation for the RAAC of that utter chaotic mess called Chapter 7... Please learn some very basics here about running a metanarrative and Don't disrespect your readers with this kind of nonsense ever again. Frankly as a rather experienced reader and a Writing Professor at a local university...I am utterly appalled at the utter nonsense you dumped on us in Chapter 7. It became so utterly stupid that I found that the whole thing morphed into a dark comedy of errors rather than a valid tale...

1 star...utterly hated this one!!!

buzzsawlennybuzzsawlenny11 months ago

With all of a sudden 5 other women falling in love with a man in a coma....Mare knew if she told her lesbian bullshit he woulda been gone with Mary like a shot! She knew to keep her bullshit under wraps. Meanwhile she cheated joe outta having Mary who probably woulda been the first woman in his life to actually remain loyal. You can pretend all you want but no man can truly love a gangbang skank, you can be attracted to her, you can like her, you can dominate her and treat her well, but love is a bridge too far.

AnonymousAnonymous12 months ago

Jumped the shark

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

What a mess

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Didn't find any reason to star more than 2.

Unnecessarily exaggerated.

Idiotic plot.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Wow. She just kept on cheating on the man. "I was lonely when you were in a comma" isn't a very good excuse. Especially after her two major betrayals. I don't think less of him for choosing kindness and pity over anger. I think that takes strength. But I don't think a woman like her can love him like he loved her. He deserved better. It makes the whole harem thing seem to be more about appeasing her guilt and less about seeing him smile while in a comma. She's not evil, but she's a far cry from good. She takes what she wants and really doesn't care about others, just like her thug father. Not much different.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Just about the worst load of overwritten, rambling , unbelievable load of incomprehensible rubbish I’ve ever read on LW. I really hope Mikoli was just taking the piss.

waltdeewaltdeeover 1 year ago

Don't listen to them, mikoli5763. It had its problems, but you told a good story.

MasterKoteMasterKoteover 1 year ago

Glad I only read bits and pieces because the plot was a huge landfill of dog shit.. No way in hell would a spouse stay after all and other ways to protect ones self from someone like getting a gun.

Timber7123Timber7123almost 2 years ago

I really enjoyed the last chapter. I should me how much a person can forgive. One of my favorites

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

Geeze.... Well.... Geeze. What do you make of a story like this? Certainly not MY favorite. Soon to be forgotten.

miket0422miket0422about 2 years ago

The only explanation I can give for subjecting myself to all the chapters of this story is it was like rubber necking at the site of a car wreck. You know you shouldn't look but, you just can't help yourself. I guess I just wanted to see how much worse it could get from chapter to chapter and in that regard the author didn't disappoint.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 2 years ago

I can't believe I wasted time on this dreck ..

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

That was a disgusting piece of cuck wimpy crap written by an emasculinated author !

lujon2019lujon2019over 2 years ago

So to recap she had another gang bang and he still wouldnt leave her

then he found out she also cheated on him regularly with long term female affairs, and still wouldnt tell her to fuck off

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I will read all the stories on here after reading ( her problem ). I am a recovering alcoholic and recovering sex Addict 37 years of sobriety in AA. Still struggling with other addiction. Excellent writing,couldn’t wait to get to the next chapter. Thank you.

donner60donner60over 2 years ago

Hey, Mikoli5763…..have to agree with RanDog025 and tell you what an excellent story you have written. For all the anonymous posters who denigrate writers (who put humanity into their writing…..and develop deep, plausible characters) GET A LIFE and contribute to the website with something other than your inability to recognize excellence when it smacks you in the face….25…25…25

Thanks for an awesome read…keep em coming please.

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

This author has one fucked up mind. Story was so utterly stupid that I could not read the whole miserable garbage. Give it less than a 1.

AmbivalenceAmbivalencealmost 3 years ago

The thing that should have kept him from staying married to her was simply something she glossed over...

She had *agreed* to abort that child because her husband wanted her to.

She had *no* way of knowing how long he would be *in* a coma... what was her gameplan if he'd come out of the coma a month or two *before* it's birth...?

"Um, I really didn't think you'd mind that I was having some other man's child, I mean other than you clearly having told me, that is..."

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 3 years ago

So, multiple women raped him, and no one has a problem with that?!?

RanDog025RanDog025almost 3 years ago

OH YEAH. I WISH THE AUTHOR WAS STILL WRITING STORIES THIS WELL. THEN I'D ALSO CLICK TO FOLLOW HIM! FUCK YA'LL!

RanDog025RanDog025almost 3 years ago

TO ALL YOU CRITICS WITH BAD COMMENTS. AS A SENIOR EDITOR FOR ONE WORLD WIDE MAGAZINE AND ONE PUBLISHING COMPANY, TOTALLY FUCKING EXCELLENT STORY! 25 STARS! YEAH THAT'S RIGHT. ALL CAPS, SO YOU CAN READ IT EASILY, FUCK YOU! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA HOW HARD IT IS TO WRITE A STORY OF THIS CALIBER, THIS WELL WRITTEN! THANK YOU AUTHOR FOR A BEAUTIFUL STORY!

25 STARS! FUCK YEAH!

MightyheartMightyheartalmost 3 years ago

Horrible.

Garbage.

Stop writing such trash.

I think you can do better.

Regards

SexecutionerSexecutionerabout 3 years ago

A stupid of an ending as Anderson's February Sucks. There are those whiny ass little bitches who say "If you don't like it don't read it". Well, we are given the option to read and rate it and comment on it. So fuck off.

CunnyLinguistCunnyLinguistabout 3 years ago

I find it humorous how people like to bash other peoples stories. If you don't like it, then don't read it. If it's not your kind of story, then go write one yourself. Human emotions aren't always black and white, there's a lot of grey area in between. Human emotion is full of hypocrisy and contradiction and I think the writer did a good job of exploring some of those aspects. Keep in mind people...this is FICTION. It's the writers world and they can shape it how they choose. It's the depth of the characters that makes the story interesting, whether or not you like/dislike, agree/disagree with some or all of the story. Personally I enjoyed it, While it certainly had a lot of familiar aspects to the story, there were a number of plot twists that I found refreshing.

Oh, and for what it's worth...it takes far more strength to forgive than it does to just simply walk away.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
I didn't see the ending coming

A nice story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
Yuck Mikoli..what’s ur cuck deal man?

Are u a cuck yourself? Does ur wife make ya raise bastard kids? Do u ahve a fetish to get ur wife bred by others and raise their kids??? What’s up miko my man? Wearing panties are ya?

secretsalsecretsalover 3 years ago

Holy shit, the dude got a bum deal his entire life. Makes me feel better about my own life, so thanks for that.

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
Against the law

You know that this pregnancy is the result of spousal rape, right? It's actually an easy one to call. If he'd had sex with her when she was in a coma, resulting in pregnancy well....there'd be no question.

WargamerWargameralmost 4 years ago

She cheated on him constantly throughout their marriage, with males and females.

She was a slut. She said no secrets, but only confessed her lesbian exploits on her death bed.

So, she lied by omission. Never kept one promise to him, not one in the end,

I’ll say it again, what a slut, a lowlife selfish slut.

He definitely should’ve got rid of her when he had the chance.

All that heartache for what???

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
Oh, My

God! She was a slut before he knew her, after they were living together, the whole time they were married. She never kept one promise to him, even the one about no secrets then had the audacity to tell him about the rest of her cheating, begging for forgiveness? No matter how you try to cover it while he was in a coma every one of those women raped him by legal definition multiple times. What happens when a man in a nursing home does that to a patient and gets caught? They were all medical professionals and all turned up pregnant? Oh, go fuck a duck, fuck two cause their small. I only kept reading because I wanted to see how bad this story was going to get and I wasn't disappointed. The only ones in this story I have any respect for are his two friends who helped him after he saw Stephanie's video, for some reason Mary and Mare's father. At least her father was trying to look out for her because she was his daughter and as a father I respect that. I'm going to read one more story by this author, if it's any good I'll read more if not I'm gone. At this point I'd recommend staying with alternate endings to other's works like you did with Stang's Shame...

QuintiusQuintiusover 4 years ago
Sorry, author...

... this entire chapter was a complete cop out. I have the distinct impression from the way this turned out that you had no idea how to turn what you created in the first six chapters into a reconciliation ending, so you just fucked the whole thing. Even after the timing was derailed after his car accident things were STILL glossed over with phrases like, "some time and intense therapy" to cover up the fact that you had no idea how to make it right between them. Then comes the ridiculous harem bullshit wherein Mare allowed her husband to be repeatedly raped while in a coma. It's OK, though, because all the women were beautiful and fell in love with his one-legged, comatose ass! Must have been the stories they published without his permission. What the fuck did this turn into?

I won't go into all the things wrong with this chapter because there are far too many and other commenters have already dissected it just fine. Needless to say, it's plain awful, completely unrealistic, totally lacking in details, and not remotely entertaining. I would have been fine with a reconciliation story had it been sold to me. It wasn't. At all. Mare's own death bed confession shows she was an unfaithful, drunken slut, incapable of keeping her legs closed unless Joe was physically stapled to her side. She was bossy, incredibly manipulative, disgustingly self-centered, and completely unaware of her husband's wants and needs. At no time did she properly atone for what she'd done to their marriage. To the contrary, she continually tried to manipulate him using sex in order to get him to overlook her slutting around despite the fact that he told her he wouldn't allow that. Then this chapter was just the injury added to the insults.

Terrible cop out ending to what was an involved, heart-wrenching story of love and infidelity. It could have been saved with a well plotted out last chapter describing the steps these two took to rebuild trust between them. Alas, it became ridiculous. I recommend this author look into a job writing plots for soap operas because that's the level this last chapter was at.

Xzy89c1Xzy89c1almost 5 years ago
This story was below average

This final chapter made it bottom of the barrel.

moblanemoblaneabout 5 years ago
Train Wreck

It started off OK but it REALLY GOT LOST ALONG THE WAY. The ending was as close to pathetic as anything I have ever read. The complete lack of imagination is surprising. This story COULD HAVE BEEN GOOD but it went so far "off the rails" so early that it is difficult to understand the thinking behind this seriously poor attempt at storytelling. It is several chapters TOO LONG. It was worse than toothache! When I read such deplorable stories I wonder whether the author realizes JUST HOW BAD it is or do they delude themselves that there is some merit, talent or even worth to it! I am going to read a couple of your stories to see how 'consistent' they are with this tripe! I gave it one1* for the time wasted putting this worthless tale 'on paper'

26thNC26thNCabout 5 years ago
I enjoyed this

I enjoyed this up until the last chapter, then had to stop reading. It was just too silly for words after that.

clarkgarbleclarkgarbleabout 5 years ago
7 chapters of pure bullshit

Utter nonsense from beginning to end. An embarrassment.

etchiboyetchiboyabout 5 years ago
Really? Fall in love with a man in a coma because ...

... you are fucking him? Even if you are reading his short stories? Well, I guess maybe you can.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
I Agree

I do agree with other comments, the first four or five chapters of this story were pretty good but the last couple of chapters descended into nonsense. Especially the last chapter. Joe awakening after twenty two months in a coma? Come on, that’s about as hokey as “Who shot J. R. ?”.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
the problem with love

it's just not real. she loved him, in her own way. She was a shitty person. Her growth was to share him, so she could continue her affairs with other women.

he'd honestly be happier without her, but he's built an idea around her. an idea of 'true love'. he'd have to change his ENTIRE world view. that was too hard. easier to struggle with him trying to reconcile his love/hate dynamic with her.

story should be called, 'her problemS" she has many. but his was obvious, believing in true love, and staying with a toxic person. it made him toxic, and we see that as the audience. she didn't believe in true love, she's just a spoiled kid. she'll say w/e and do w/e to get whatever she wants. and she wanted him. simple. she learned to share....which is big for her....but something most of us learn to do at the age of 5.

katibkatibover 5 years ago
One small point

The commentators have said it all. I will only add: please be aware that the past participle of to go is not went but gone.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago
Story started well .....

many many pages ago, but degenerated into absudity.

DEA, gang wars, closet bisexuality, gang-bangs, rape by the care givers, absurd cuck behaviour ..... the list is endless

PowersworderPowersworderalmost 6 years ago
Re: johnadp

Getting destroyed in our discussion about Malraux's story must have cut you to the quick for you to still be this butthurt.

Pathetic...

johnadpjohnadpalmost 6 years ago
God Damned Magic Dick

The man's magic dick was so fantanstic that not only did it compel FIVE very attractive "professional" health care providers completely act unethically and illegally by having sex with him, BUT also fell in love with him while he's in a coma... LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!! God that has to be the most absurd thing I've read. I mean the rest of the story was ok, why put that shit in there?

Hey all those female hating angry losers on this site that love commenting negatively on the women in LW stories and want maximum BTB either because women never were attracted to them, they have tiny penises, or a womEN constantly left them for other better men, this is your ticket. Get into an accident, lose your leg, go into a long term coma and multiple women will not only love your little peepy, but they will fall in love with you and be devoted for life to you. Yeah, that's the ticket, lol! This is your chance Powersworder lol!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago
Great story

5 stars.

penneydog55penneydog55about 6 years ago
Shoooooott

A very sad story! Question? :- What happened to the Baby Mare had first?

You know Jerry Springer would wet his undies with excitement if He was to host his show again featuring this Mob! Anyway that's my Comment 5 ★ WOOF!

Oh Oh Oh! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! ( I CAN'T HELP MYSELF)

UndrApprctdUndrApprctdabout 6 years ago
Good Story Until This Last Chapter...

Sounded like you just tired and wanted the story finished so you could move on. Too bad, this could have been a classic.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Huecuck nailed it

time to go read, spank, then in a fit of shame and denial leave another nasty comment

Huedogg2Huedogg2over 6 years ago
damn you be a unhappy lesbo

you fucked this guy over like he stole something from you

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Ummmm..

Have not read any of the other stories. Doubt I will after reading this ending and the comments. Stupid.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
True Love???

The woman was a slut, and the man was worse than a wimp. You usually do better than this.

Xzy89c1Xzy89c1over 6 years ago
Cluster

Absurd ending. All of it. Btw I am bi amd have fucked women.... and I had another gang bang and I raped u along witn 6 other women. What a story. Get help. Really u r disturned.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago

This is, hands down, the dumbest fucking ending to a series I've ever read.

Schwanze1Schwanze1over 6 years ago
By the way

living in El Paso is a punishment all by itself.

Schwanze1Schwanze1over 6 years ago
Before

I read the other comments, let's just set aside the magic fairy dust that caused a half dozen women to fall hopelessly in love with him. His WIFE oversaw his systematic constant rape for the better part of two years. WTF?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Not surprised

Not surprised once a slut always a slut

silentsoundsilentsoundabout 7 years ago
Hahaha!

You are one sick fuck!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
please no more

bad bad bad very bad! Worst story I've read--maybe ever. Don't knw where to start: characters flat, little depth; emotion is imposed on them rather than flowing out of character development: plot is nonsense with numerous errors of fact and with people who appear for no reason(Seatons) then vanish. All in all this is a story that makes no rhyme or reason or as a reviewer once said about an equally bad effort 'this is a story that once put down is impossible to pick up again.'

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Wow, this last chapter was really dumb.

This last chapter should have been in the humor section, it was a joke. Just too many contrivances and justifications and moronic behavior. She continued to lie to him right up to her death bed confession. So how does he know that wasn't a lie also? Just too far fetched and unbelievable.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago

Oh my, that was dreadful !!

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
ALOT LIFE!

Wow! There was a lot things to keep track off and you did a really good job with only one small confusing item he stated that he did' watch the whole video but he mentions what the evil woman says. Did he watch the video or was it the phone call to rub his face in it when she threw Mare under the bus. Other than that I didn't have a problem with your story. Sex while he was in the nursing home was wrong but, I could care if it was real but, this was just a twist in a story. I've read worst where the main character killed his wife because he loved her and made her a promise and kept his promise. Good writing it kept me involed. If you need perfection go buy a book, these are free.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
1*

I won't waste time to enumerate the reasons why this shitty story sucks. I'll just say that you are a fucking idiot, mikoli. have the courtesy to die, or at the very least stop posting this shit on LIT.

cap5356cap5356about 9 years ago
well written story

this was a great story. very well written and as far as I was concerned it kept me reading it till the end. keep on writing as you are able to capture the readers interest with the people in the story.

Pappy7Pappy7over 9 years ago
My take on your writing

is that you are pretty good at putting a story together, but the males in your stories are written from a female point of view. What I mean by that is that they are weak and extremely dependent on their women for their validation and that the only way they can find and keep love is to have a strong, bi-sexual woman who cheats on them and continues to do so even after swearing not to. Forgiveness of the one you love is indeed a noble thing, but there needs to be a basis for that forgiveness and that can't be because you are too weak to move on without that person. All of the LW stories address male ego and the overreaction of the male, if he does show any balls, as a negative trait on his part. And the general consensus of most of the writers anymore is that only a poor excuse for a man refuses to forgive his slut of a wife when she has affairs, multiple partners, lesbian sex and members of his own family. Of course there is the black fixation to further humiliate the man.

Pretty predictable, actually a lazy formula.

virtualatheistvirtualatheistover 9 years ago
Inconsistencies spoiled the story a little

He talked about Stephanie's words from the end of the video... The same video he never watched past the first few minutes.

He talked about the sleights by other people at functions, but I could find no examples in the narrative except during his talk with Mare.

Why would the child be mulatto if both parents were white?

It is little things that spoil the flow of an otherwise good story.

ChagrinedChagrinedover 9 years ago
A little rushed, don't you think?

You were doing OK for the first 3 chapters then you lost your way.

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
YOU SUCK.

GIVE UP WRITING.

rightbankrightbankover 9 years ago
a perfect example of

why you should not spend time figuring out wtf is meant by this author.

after a while you realize it doesn't matter.

the author doesn't have a clue either.

calflashcalflashover 9 years ago
comments

I can't believe some of the comments - She certainly proved once a slut, always a slut. I'm glad she died early so he could share his life with someone else

col_lovercol_loverover 9 years ago
Read comments First

I always read the comments before I read a story, it saves lots of time.

FD45FD45over 9 years ago
This story proves the old adage

If you are going to write a story, have an outline

ohyessssssohyessssssover 9 years ago
lol

This was so stupid, I can't believe I read the whole thing. Frankly, I'm not sure I care to read any more.

tazz317tazz317over 9 years ago
DEATH BED STATEMENTS

Believe 'Em Or Not. TK U MLJ LV NV

tazz317tazz317almost 10 years ago
HW TO MAKE IT WORK WITH QUESTIONS

facts, figures and some kind of answer, TK U MLJ LV NV

txcrackertxcrackeralmost 10 years ago
Excellent !

I wasn't sure as to where this story was leading , But I am glad I read all of it . Bravo !

Thanks for the GREAT read !!

Thanks

Tx Cracker

InescuInescualmost 10 years ago
Why is it

That people seemed to think that same sex liaisons aren't cheating? Mare basically cheating on him repeatedly when he was ill and allowed other women to basically rape him? Add on her "if I drink too much I'm a gang bang slut' act and you have one seriously screwed up woman.

She repeatedly broke her promises to him and he kept coming back for more. That isn't love, that's masochism.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
He was repeatedly raped

And did nothing about it. What if it had been an unconscious woman and six male nurses had repeatedly had sex with her while she was in a coma? What if they got her pregnant? No writer would just let that go. But somehow rape of men is just fine, because he "smiled." And he stayed with a cheating wife WHO LET HIM BE REPEATEDLY RAPED. Disgusting.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Thanks Mikoli,

I liked your story even though the hero made choices I wouldn't have. The only thing I can't understand is why some knucklehead would continue reading something he didn't like for seven chapters. If you read all seven chapters, you are obviously getting something out of it.

ramonbrookramonbrookalmost 10 years ago
Not sure why

A lot of readers are getting on with this author. I loved all 7 chapters and while I don't know if I could have forgiven Mare the he had, I know love can make you do strange things. AT LEAST he wasn't a wimpy cuckold for which I getting tired of reading about! Ending was sad but hey a part of life is death, and he at least bad Mary!

I give 5 to all seven chapters.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
One has to remember....

When reading this author's work, you must suspend all belief in any form of reality. There are times when he has brief moments of lucidity but for the most part he is living in an alternate universe. Perhaps having someone, who has graduated from high school, proofread these BEFORE they are submitted would help.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Ugh....

The first few chapters were good, I enjoyed them. But then they started going downhill, as if a slut of epic proportions was accepted if you just love her enough. No, she had obvious mental ills that nothing could heal. This was a 3 star story to start and by the time the 7th chapter was finished, it had dropped to barely a one.

The writing style was fine, grammar was mediocre. I just didn't care for Mare, her family and especially the fact she bore her gangbang baby, though her husband said absolutely not. That alone deserves a divorce!

TornadoTysTornadoTysalmost 10 years ago
All in the Final Chapter !

Wow, I would say that chapter 7 was like those TV series were the plot ticks a long for many episodes then in the last episode every thing happens !

From my calculation Mare while married has slept with a minimum of 12 people of which 3 were women !

As for the males in the 3 gang bangs she has had while married a minimum of 9 men, and the poor husband has only had 6 women of which 5 he knew nothing about or any decision about entering in to a sexual act.

The story to me does ask the question does male pride get in the way off forgiving Mare for her first gang bang. TBH for a man to forget that one man has fucked his wife / GF is hard enough let alone 3 or 4 plus !

How does a Wife/GF make up this act of betrayal to a wounded husband as so many question go through his mind regardless if he wife was drunk or not !

Mare’s character in the story clearly had 3 problems, alcoholic, slut, and closet Bi-sexual of which the latter she could have shared with her husband.

I am not sure if a man in coma can have sex with females unless they inject alprostadil drug in to base of the penis. I am not medically train so I do not know if this is possible.

The story ended a big spectacular way, murder, RTA, coma, gang ban ( again ), illegitimate pregnancies, legitimate pregnancy, lesbian sex, sex abuse in hospital, undercover agents, betrayal, confession to name a few ! !

RhomanovRhomanovalmost 10 years ago
1 and 6

Chapter 1 was very well done. 5*

You should have stopped there.

I struggled through chapters 2-7 and could at best rate a 3* on some.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
Ever Wonder

Do you ever wonder why you waste your time and read such crap as this story. This story started out not too bad and turned to crap fast.

starmanfivestarmanfiveabout 10 years ago
It makes sense

in the end. Mare had a problem. It was Her Problem. The story in the end makes you think about the 'what ifs', and 'if onlys'. How our lives change and you may not even recognize when it happens. Thanks for the story.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
1 star

wow you just gave up on this last chapter. it really sucked.

GJR57GJR57about 10 years ago
Promise unfullfilled

This story had great promise. I was looking forward to more and now it ends in the most spectacularly blah way. Really he goes into a coma and everything is resolved when he wakes up from being a comatose stud. (sex with a dead body is necrophilia, what is sex with someone in a coma? fleshydildopedia?) A story that was a solid 4 maybe a 5, became a 1.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
Original or just a bag of cliches

This has been amusing. Not for all the right reasons. I can't really say it is original or even a new bag of crap. Nor do I think it was written by committee. I get a different feel. More like the writer wrote down a bunch of clichés on pieces of paper, folded them up and placed them in paper bag. Every so often, he just drew out another cliché from the bag and incorporated it into the story.

And somewhere the author is reading over the comments and just laughing his head off.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
Dumb

You took a story that was good to start and turned it into something totally stupid.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
It wasn't a same old crap story

It's a brand new crap story. A new genre invented by the previous commenter.

Come on, Stephanie's punishment is addicting her to Big Black Cock? And that was one of the less ridiculous moments.

Very sad.

amyyumamyyumabout 10 years ago
Hey, this was original

While I thought the story was more unbelievable than a Mission Impossible movie, and way too maudlin, since it was so original -- six women fucking him while he was in a coma? -- I had to give it a 5. It wasn't one of the same old crap stories.

GenghisKhanGenghisKhanabout 10 years ago
Funniest Comments I've Ever come Across, here, in Lit! LOL

"This is like watching the dog crap on the floor and not being able to stop it.

"All you know is that no matter what you say or do, in the end; you're stuck cleaning up the damn mess and you can't get mad because its just a dog and it doesn't know any better."

FD45FD45about 10 years ago
You know

This would have made a liot more sense if he did it for the money.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
What a complete shambles

This was just a rambling pile of nonsense. After reading a paragraph or two I skimmed to the end but he wakes from a coma which lasted the better part of two years to find that not only has he lost a leg but his wife has been raping him while he was in a coma. She is pregnant, she has also let other women rape him and some of them are either pregnant or have already had a baby from him?

Who comes up with a rediculous idea from a story like that? You completely lost the plot of this story once you introduced Mare's gangster father and the whole thing went downhill straight afterwards.

A disappointing one star.

hnau0022hnau0022about 10 years ago
That's It?

Terrible ending. Really got lazy and shortchanged all of us who were waiting for a good ending. Really disappointed after the first 6 chapters held such promise.

sugnasugnaabout 10 years ago
Stupid

Marizona was the archetype of the spoiled, low class daughter of a thug. Who on earth would want to be married to that? Only an idiot, notice I didn't say fool. You have to have low intelligence to not see her for what she is. Not only was she spoiled, she was also a liar, cheater, and a slut. Fools fall in love, but only an idiot would stay with her more than a short time. So, this story is another one of those where the protagonist drags us through the shit and we are supposed to think it is okay. Yuck, insulting.

bruce22bruce22about 10 years ago
Nicely done

I do believe that you managed to step on everyones' toes in this last chapter. For me the most glaring being having sex with a comatose person. But I did trinkle some tears with Mare's. Please note the number of people that read the whole tale. Probably we are unhappy with the last chapter but we got there.

LickideesplitLickideesplitabout 10 years ago
Shoulda been leaner (& maybe meaner!)

Three chapters could have done it! How, for example, did Rodrigo's assault on Sweetie (then abrupt reversal) further the story? If it was to establish that she was serious about drying out and being a 'good girl', it was massive overkill! Only advantage to letting the story continue until Hubby croaked is that NO sequel is likely!

The amputation and prolonged coma was simply bizarro! (PS, prolonged comas do NOT resolve like that) ... and how many nurses fall in love with their dildo (regardless of how large or warm it might be)?

K.I.S.S.

4* (mostly on early chapters!)

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