tagHumor & SatireHickory, Dickory, Cock! Women Only!

Hickory, Dickory, Cock! Women Only!

bypeppermintpatty2006©

Women Beware – When the Pussy is Away, the King Rat Will Play

I remember when I was a kid and my dad used to go to the horse races when my mom was out-of-town.

Dad wasn't looking for women; he was partly handicapped in later life. Well, that's a long story. Somehow, he still managed to do what he liked best – bet on the ponies as much as he could. He'd sneak off and drive himself to Hollywood Race Track.

Now, don't frown or turn away; this isn't going to be a depressing story (you are in the humor/satire category).

As a mature woman, men are more honest with me; I think, for the most part. Men are especially open when online and invisible; horney and chatty with a female who is willing to listen; and, to one who is not being judgmental.

Of, course; I'm invisible and chatty, too.

I've heard a lot of stories from single and married men regarding 'Sex in the City.' The fact of the matter is whether you're the girlfriend or the wife when the cat is away, the mouse (i.e. boyfriend or husband) will play.

Loving women, you may want to live in denial. Loving women you may not want to know. Loving women, you may not care. Loving women, you may not want to face reality.

Then again, you may just be glad to give him away and would like to say, "Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

If you're out-of-town leaving honey at home, don't be surprised if you loving man phones a call girl who visits him at YOUR house and in YOUR bed.

He might even claim it's because of you. He may use the excuses about his loving wife like, "She's not affectionate enough. She doesn't like to cuddle. She gives me lousy blowjobs." Or, he might say that his loving woman doesn't like sex.

There are so many likely excuses. Of course, they are all the woman's doing.

Well, why is that, one may ask? I'm sure sex is ALL about you, yourself and your pussy being the animal that you are.

Now, ladies, when he's on that computer till midnight and you feel sorry for him 'working so late,' please remember that he's probably not only chatting with some strange girl, but, probably looking at porn sites or porn magazines, too.

Here is the diary of one man while his wife was out-of-town (with HIS three adult children):

Monday evening – My loving wife is away (HOORAY)!

oI fixed the garage door spring. oI ate leftover chicken. oI went online. oI chatted online with a lady in Michigan. oI started reading 'Cliterotica.com.' oLady in Michigan asked me for pictures while I read more erotic stories on 'Cliterotica.com.' oI got out my digital camera, posed and took pictures at penile various penile stages while reading erotic stories (a little precum made the best pictures). oI read some more erotic stories and masturbated slowly, taking pictures as I worked on my erection and climax. oI sent pictures to the Michigan lady (never got her name) as I took more pictures for her. oI finally came hard. oI said goodnight to the online woman. oI cleaned up (good of me, huh?). oI went to bed and slept like a baby!

Tuesday evening –

oI came home and ate leftover pizza. oI went online. oI started reading 'Cliterotica.com' again. oI sent a compliment to an extremely sexy chick about a story she wrote. oShe e-mailed me back. oShe started trying to seduce me. oI played along with her. oI was masturbating while online with her while reading in-between other E-mails. oShe talked me into sending her naked pictures. oI sent pictures and we swapped e-mails. oI read more erotic stories online while chatting with sexy chick. oI was playing with myself the whole time. oShe liked my pictures and laughed at them. oShe sent me titty pictures. oFinally, she was tipsy enough to instant messenger with me. oI was very near cumming. oShe teased me for quite a while which was way after my bed time for a weekday. oI really needed to cum. oShe continued to tease me. oI started making love to her online in my fantasy mind; slowly, kissing and fondling her titty pictures. oShe teased me more. oFinally, she showed me her pussy pictures. oI played with her some more. oMy cock was rock-hard and my balls were so full. oI tried not to cum; I fought it as we continued teasing each other. oThat's it. I masturbated for her, read porn and had showed off to a couple of nice ladies! oFairly boring but I enjoyed it! oI had to sign off and went to bed. oFinally, I came like a volcano! oI enjoyed myself immensely! oShe was extremely fun!

Wednesday evening –

oGot home about 7:00. oI ate more leftover pizza. oI turned on the computer. oI checked my e-mails. oAn hour or so later, last night's sexy chick comes on instant messenger. oWe visited for almost three hours. oWe began cybersex. oI stroked my dick out of the leg of my cut-offs, as we visited. oI stroked and we visited some more. oI showed her more pictures. oWe teased and visited some more, oI started to feel like cumming, but fought it. oWe visited and chatted; she described her pussy and we talked about sex. oI stroked and fought the urge to cum. oFinally, she told me to quit typing and 'helped me.' oShe was excellent with foreplay. oI read her words, and now I had to seriously fight cumming. oShe wrote of the wonderful things she would do to me. oMy dick throbbed wonderfully oShe wrote, I enjoyed and fought back my need for release. oFinally, I let it go. oI came hard and long. oThe release was pure ecstasy! oShe was a wonderful lover!

Thursday evening –

oWife and daughter got home before I got home from work. oWe visited. They told me of their trip. oWe had a nice supper. oDaughter went to work. oWife and I went to bed. oWe made hot passionate wonderful love, and slept like babies!

>>>

Now, women, are you getting the picture about your faithful and dedicated man?

Men tend to ask the same questions online and age or location doesn't matter. 'What are you wearing? Do you like to give blowjobs? Do you like huge cocks? What kind of sex do you like?'

It's as if men all read the same training manual.

Men can indeed be happily married or attached. Looking for a little spice, they claim.

***

So, women, I say revenge is your best defense!

With those men who act sexually deprived and wanton for an understanding voice, BEWARE!

It's the easiest means of cheating subtlety, if I may use that term lightly.

Women are silly enough to fall for this especially online. We're naïve and sympathetic.

So dear women, wake up! Awareness is the best defense!

Well, maybe your man never touched anyone; but, he was with her mentally and visually. But, what's next?

He may be getting pretty good at this online stuff so get your feet wet and get online yourself! Be prepared.

Then, there is phone sex and the guy gets the girl to use her toys while making and listening to her orgasm.

There's early morning webcam sex especially if he works in his own office.

Next, he goes out-of-town for a flirtatious weekend while on business where an affair may begin.

Next, perhaps divorce.

Of course, your man may still really love you. He's been with you all his life and helpless without you. It's all innocent play, we hope!

BUT - Women beware, he's in training! And, you should be, too.

Signed, you confidant.

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bypeppermintpatty2006© 2 comments/ 25784 views/ 0 favorites

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