by NymphWett
I think you have a very good ideale here, but in my opinion it needs to be less "rushed". Setting the scene, the chase and then the catch ...
Keep at it though!!
Why was i waiting for a Twist.
Was expecting husband (otherwise un-named) to be the cable guy, truly I was, to provide the twist in the tale, saving it from being a *uck and *uck story.
Keep it up, and look for Stuff to provide diversion and differentiation.
Cheers, and Thanks, Kilroy.
Change your style from present tense to past tense to ramp up the heat. As it is, it reads like your fantasy. In the past tense it would read like erotic fiction, which is much hotter.
The story line with this and Poker night is similar to other stories but - you made enough difference to make this story a fun read, quick, erotic, stimulating and, for some of us, wanting more.
So...good!
I was amused by how nonchalant she was when hubby came home - poor bastard, he probably loves her and worships the ground she walks on. She seems perfectly comfortable with herself.
Question, are you a guy with a submissive and low self esteem or are you, possibly, a woman who is sexually exciting with all kinds of fantasies - if the latter...let's read them.
Anyway...Thanks!
like a snack instead of a meal, didn't really get into the story or characters since this read like a commercial or preview instead of an actual show or movie
That's why my cable.but didn't show up today. He was with this cheating whore all day.