All Comments on 'House of Cards Ch. 06'

Stretching belies reason especially when offended so deeply - so grievously. Cmon, this is going downhill. So, beyond the reality you described as an objective in your comment several chapters ago.

Forgiving Eddie is farcical - cmon, its almost like trying to forgive someone who kidnapped your child! Or wife!! Respect and trust were not just bruised here - they were bulldozed over a prolonged time. Why can we see this and you play with it???

The fallout begins here and it is because you are a new author learning the how to's. Romantics will side with you but what goes on from here on isn't going to be what the storyline promised by your own words. He wasn't to be a fool or act like one and now you have turned him into one!

Rather a shame for the excellent begining. Learning 101 I guess. Please "Stop it" and start a new more credible story.

This stoy is gtting dumb and dumber!Mariane is a very sharp cookie in the story. She is immediately going to pick up on discrepancies in details about the relationship with the "new girlfriend" ( such as a 5'6 redhead vs a 5'2 blonde etc. etc. What is her reaction going to be then? This story has just turned to crud.

Your story had promise up until the time Tom showed that he was panty whipped (for that matter whipped with cum stained panties---Eddie’s cum).

Marianne had been cheating for nine months and admittedly planned on continuing for at least several more months.

Tom’s character lost creditability when he discloses that he still loves Marianne and wants to remain married.

A rational person would have to believe that if Marianne’s character was bored with the same old love life with Tom and became enamored with the excitement of the relationship with Eddie would merely find a new lover to replace Eddie when he became boring.

On one hand she claims Tom is the best of lovers but on the other she tells Eddie that no one makes her cum like he does. This statement in and of it self indicates that there are more than just he and Tom with which to compare.

You might just as well allow Marianne to continue seeing other people.

Ken

And so is the author.

Mr Author, if you re read your story but reverse the roles on who said what to who, you would find out how really fucking stupid your babble has become and how manipulative Tom has become...I swear... Marianne acts more like the man caught cheating and Tom like the woman cheated upon...Fuck...he's even cooking like a woman and has thoughts of flowers to place on the table. Did you steal this story and do a gender switch? Yuor story has bcome nonsense ...complete nonsense...don't really care how this story wraps up....you nailed it on one word that struck me in the story....POINTLESS...find it and get your fucking epiphany.

'nuff said in anger because sir you play your readers as fools...and fools we ain't.

Andy

After reading the previous comments I guess I'm not a qualified critic but I like it and look forward to each installment.

Please ignore the comments of those who obviously belong to the tar and feather the wife group. You have a great story going, leaving most of us waiting eagerly for the next chapter. You set each part up well, though I wish it was combined in fewer chapters.

This is one of the best first stories I've read here, and I can't wait for the next installment.

Please people calm the fuck down it's just a story for crying out loud and it's almost entirely pointless to get bent out of shape over it. I admit that his reactions aren't the most realistic (who would let his very own wife get away with murder like this)! Yet I believe this writer has a lot of potential and is a far cry from an 'idiot' as these dull lackwitted fools have stated earlier.

Whose to say what the main character really plans? He may have a pretend sort of forgiveness going on, he didn't clarify did he at what he was planning on doing?

I personally am enjoying this story.If this were real life I would agree with others,dump her ass. But this is fiction so I hope you give it a good ending. I like the way the it is going now with Tom making her think he is seeing someone. This should make her understand his pain now. This is the first thing I look for every day, new chapters on this story. You may be a new writer but I think you are doing a great job and hope to see more stories from you

and take the kids with you and get a divorce. Let me get this straight, she said she was lying for Tom's sake to not hurt him. HA ! ! ! The only reason she was lying was so she would not get caught. Now she is making to so Tom feels like he is the one to blame for her infidelity.

To the Author: This tale has gone on too long and the longer it goes on the more apt he is to taking his cheating slut of a wife back. She said she would do anything. Tom should ask her if she would take her own life and see how she reacts to that. A little white lie is not revenge. If revenge were to be extracted, it would have to be on her and Eddie.

Tom should make a condition that she tell her co workers, family, friends, children and everyone she knows about her infidelity. After that, then Tom should divorcer her, take the kids and all assets and leave her with Eddie. Then he should sue Eddie for breaking up a marriage. It is funny that Eddie's last name has not been mentioned nor has Tom asked her for Eddie's last name.

This story is great! This author could very well be come one of my favorites. I can't understand though why some of these readers are so bent out of shape over a fictional tale. Lighten up! I hope she realizes the pain she has caused hubby but that he forgives her and they go on with their lives. I think Tom should get at least a little revenge against Eddie, tho. I hope you don't get discouraged by some of the comments and stop writing. I owuld love to read more of your work.

but that doesnt have to mean I have to think its good (not that you should care :). This story has been going nowhere for the last couple chapters. It did start out being emotional, well written and realistic but now its just frustrating.

Either cuck the guy out and have him take her back (while ignoring all the evidence that says she never loved him no matter how much he loves her), or have him get on with his life (not saying he should/could get over his pain in an instant but this guy must be a masochist because he seems to like torturing himself).

If you want to pad the story & follow this couple until they are sitting around telling their great grandchildren their version of events, at least make the wife more sympathetic. You keep making her worse and worse with every revelation so having the husband vacilate so much is making him very hard to empathise with IMO.

Other posters have listed all the reasons why the wife is totally unlikable at this point. If you want to drag this out any more without losing readers, you will have to make the next couple of revelations paint the wife in a better light (or at least make it seem like she cares even a little for her husband & isnt just playing him to keep her idylic lifestype that lets her screw deadbeat scumbags while he's out working to support her).

Some of the stuff you said in this chapter made sense (it being wife and not eddy to blame, revenge seeming hollow and pointless etc) but some of it was just crap. i.e. that the guy could understand male competition - this guy has got to be one of the wimpiest characters Ive ever read about in a story like this (and no, Im not a 100% hardliner who is against any form of forgiveness - I just think that Tom is showing little emotion & when he does exhibit any, it usually has apologetic undertones).

Ill make the standard disclamers that maybe I cant identify because I wouldnt behave that way, having everything so drawn out and having the husband vacillate so much may be realistic, etc. etc. That said, reading about realistic, self emasculating automatons is not good fiction IMO. He maybe doesnt want to get revenge & isnt a macho asshole type (good for him) but at the very least he's got to be wondering if she ever loved him at all. Staying with someone who doesnt love you is not how normal people behave (slightly aggresive ones out of anger, insecure ones out of self-pity and doubt). This guy is so damn insecure and wishy-washy throughout most of the story but he seems to have total confidence in his wife's love for him no matter what the facts seem to indicate. It just doesnt make sense to me.

I know this comment sounds really harsh (and it is) but please dont let it discourage you. First off, I really believe that you shouldnt give a shit what I think & I know Im about the least qualified person on this site to be offering relationship advice. As Ive tried to make clear, Im not dead-set against reconciliation either. I just think you need to make the wife more sympathetic and the husband more human if you do go for reconciliation (having the husband listen to recordings & hear the wife laughing about how she is playing him would be even worse though). Secondly, the story is much better than I could do & I wouldnt even bother commenting if I thought it was without merit. You definately have the potential to write great stories - this one started off as emotional, believable and suspenseful. Just keep in mind that 100% realistic doesnt necessarily make for a great story & Stephan King's writing is crap no matter how many books he's sold :) (somewhat ironic I know to refer to padding given the verbosity of my posts).

Like I said before, you should write what you want & not be swayed by critics such as myself. After all, if I knew anything, I would be writing these stories myself. I'll just leave it with the thought that I, personally, dont care what happens to this couple anymore. Marianne has been unsympathetic and without any redeeming qualities from the start and Tom is becoming more and more unlikeable with each passing chapter.

p.s. Im not going to go into the logic and flow problems with the story (Marianne saying she froze when confronted while being able to lie so well, saying her marriage came first even after she chose to continue the affair when she was found out, where the kids were, why he isnt listening to the recordings, etc). Others have pointed them out before and, while annoying, they are secondary to the generally unlikeable main characters IMO. You can overlook loose ends in a good story but its hard to overlook having uninteresting and unsympathetic characters dance around each other and a plot that goes nowhere.

Great story out of the gate, it was still running strong along the backstretch but, since the confrontation, definitely starting to fade. I realize that at the rate your posting chapters the story is in all liklihood already completed...I doubt that I'll be there with you at the finish, unless it all wraps up in Chapter 7.

For all appearances you have Tom safetly esconced on the path of giving in to Marianne's adultery. Note the use of the term giving in and not forgiveness. His co-dependance for Marianne is crippling his judgement and self-esteem. Instead of seeking a re-balance of the relationship, he is now (by lying!) whittling away at his own integrity. Tom is well on the road to true wimpiness. It's too bad, you started him out as a strong character. As he gradually accepts Marianne's infidelity as "in the past" he will moved into a passive emotinal role with her. She will she him for the putz he has allowed himself to become.

In some ways it's kind of funny. Marianne was a shifty slut right from the start. Conning Tom with one outrageous lie after the next - all so that Tom wouldn't get hurt! She is now drawing in others (Steve and Andrea) to repair the damage she has caused. This is a woman not to be messed with. She is actually gaining in strength as the story unfolds. In the end, unless a sudden change of plotline occurs, she will be back with Tom having paid no higher price than a few tears - nine months, 2 to 3 times a week, for hours at a whack with another man - and she ends up with her understaniding husband! The man who will find away to accept her unfaithfulness.

Marianne will cheat again, even she has admitted the thrill was too intense to resist. She has yet to renounce her lover ("I didn't love him"), to pronounce him an impediment to their marraige resuming ("I told hiim we were through"), she has yet to make any real offer of amends. SHe has her husband right where she wants him. Him trying to find away for them to get back together. For crissakes, he leaves the house not her? The kids are away at camp! His weakness is appalling. If Tom caves in and goes back to her - she will know that she was able to pull off her adultery and she will do it again. She will cheat again (only next time not so close to home!)

Keep writing Ohio, for a first effort this has been an excellent effort. If nothing else you've found away to pull the FEEDBACK genie out of the bottle! - something I have rarely had any success with. I would argue against the minimal parcelling out of chapters in the future. If the story is written - post it.

Good luck

Juan

I know this is a story, and, as readers, it is up to us to get bent out of shape, kill ourselves or kill each other over it. The author also has the right to write whatever the hell he wants. This is my opinion about what he wrote. He does not have to care, just as I do not have to agree with what he writes.

It looks to me that to make reconciliation possible at this point, the author is using the age-old ploy of portraying one main character as a moron that magically nobody else notices her mental disability. This is a ploy that even the master K.K. has used in some of his less than credible stories, e.g. "On Being Proactive."

What kind of woman does not know what marriage vows are all about? They even considered swinging before and she shot it down. What person, including kids, does not know what faithfulness and infidelity are all about? What kind of woman does not notice that the anniversary tryst interfered very badly with her marriage? Where was she ever going to stop? Apparently she would do anything as long as Tom does not know. I guess now my marriage comes second, but it is still in the top five! She does not know why Tom is hurt? The disaster is that Tom believes that nonsense.

In my opinion, someone who hurts you more than anybody else ever can whether because she is too selfish to care or because she is too dumb to know she is hurting you definitely cannot be taken back unless you enjoy pain and humiliation. Add to that the lack of any remorse (in her own words when she did not know he could hear her).

She lied heroically to hide the affair. Is it not much more important to lie now to keep the marriage going? Why does he have to believe her? She is noticeably a remarkable liar, way out of his league (his being a little too dumb for my liking).

As other readers have noted, there are very important questions that need to be answered:

1. Where were the kids on the nights in Eddie's apartment?

2. How did she manage birth control?

3. How did she manage STD control?

She obviously did not have any sense of remorse when she was forced to abort the affair. How can any husband deal with that? Convince her that she should regret the affair or believe her when she says I regret the affair terribly but I did not want to hurt Eddie?

I think it also may help Tom to check the voice recorders at the house again. And since he is considering getting back, he should return the car recorder (and while at it, check wether she still have an extra cell phone). It may pay to DNA test the kids.

Once again, I say that we get hurt because we love, and we forgive because we trust. Love has nothing to do with forgiveness.

Sorry, Ohio, but by trying to do what nobody else could credibly do, you are making your great story fall apart just like those before you who tried to do that using the same ploy.

OK, it is time for me to bail on this story. You have done an excellent job of writing about the emotions of one character through six chapters. For that, I applaud you. However, the story at this point is in shambles.

You are in the midst of writing the diary of a cuckold. This husband is about the most loathsome character I have read in this category. The BDSM section has husbands that are more endearing. As for the wife, is she schizophrenic? You have let her do a complete 180-degree headspin in one chapter. That is a very difficult transition to pull off …and you did NOT succeed with me.

You have presented scores of people caring about Tom and Marianne. Why? What is redeeming about either of them? Why should I as the reader care about them? I could not answer that question satisfactorily. I thought that this chapter might offer some insight.

Instead, you have now introduced the dumbest plot device imaginable. The cuckold must now pretend that he was having an affair so that he can bring home to his wife how deeply he was hurt. Incredible! She is still a selfish bitch. Why would any man with an ounce of self-respect still be in love with this worthless excuse for a loving wife?

When all 100+ chapters of this story are complete, I might read it in its entirety and then try to enjoy it in one sitting...then again...why bother.

i don't see Ohio addressing it - the husband is far too trusting at this point. the husband should still be checking everything and distrusting - but he seems to be swallowing everything she says to him and to their freinds. he should be 'once bitten, twice shy' but instead Ohio has written him too trusting.

this does not seem to be the same man from the first couple chapters, a questioning fellow who noticed details, who checked and checked. now he seems to not notice the inconsistancy of this champion liar/cheater actions, emotions and words with what was done, emoted and said in the past - and on recordings. it is like he became stupid.

IMHO things have moved too fast here - instead of talking and reconciling he should be crying out, "How can I trust ANYTHING you say with all your lies and broken promises?"

but at some point, at least kick the shit out of eddie.

The only easy ending would be to have Tom catch with someone else or with Eddie again. That might give the marriage the ending it deserves.

The only thing she has said that's positive was she maintained her marriage came first. Unfortunately her actions belied that from day one, and maybe more. Maybe their entire marriage.

He needs to find a wife; he sure doesn't have one now.

We are all entitled to our own opinions and Ohio is entitled to tell their own tale. We may not like the direction this turn is taking, (I personally think it is starting to look like Tom is going in the wrong direction.), but the tale is not yet told.

As some have pointed out, there are some inconsistencies, but they can still come into play. Nothing is set in stone. Emotions make people act and feel different from what logic dictates. I can see where at emotional swing times, Tom would almost 'find' excuses for Marianne's behavior. But, that does not mean that will be his final decision. Marianne could be feeling real remorse now or her ability to lie could be reaching new heights.

There is one thing, IMO, that goes against all logic. Speaking as a male, I may be able to rationally consider that Marianne is beautiful and any male would be attracted to her, but I could never let Eddie off the hook with that excuse.

This is going to be a terrible example but here goes: If I seen someone kick my dog and as I was grabbing him by the collar, their spouse said "Wait..he was bitten by a large dog when he was little and has been scared of dogs ever since." Now the rational part of my brain may feel some sympathy for a childhood trauma, but that would not stop me from shaking them till their teeth rattled as I explained to them that they never touch my dog again. If a damn dog could get that type of response, imagine how I would feel towards the man that 'had' my wife. I realize that she is ultimately responsible for allowing it to happen. But, at no time could I ever think of him without hatred filling my mind. He knew she was married and he trespassed into my territory, and I could never excuse that.

Now that I have shown myself to be a typical cro-magnon male. Lets see where the author ends the tale. Keep writing Ohio.

Gus

And she is an accomplished liar. "I only lied to you so you wouldn't be hurt!" Hmmm. Using that logic she is free to do anything she wants to as long as he doesn't know about it.

If she really loved and cared about him she would have stopped the affair immediately upon his expressing suspicions. She did not. The affair was more important than her marriage. She intended to keep it going until the thrill died out. She was hooked on it. He can take her back now but she will continue to do this in the future. But you can bet the next time he won't find out.

No trust. No marriage.

Sorry but this little ploy of his to make her suffer by pretending to have an affair is weak. You had him start off strong but he is not maintaining that posture. He can't live without her? He feels compelled to take her back? Okay. But learn to live with the consequences.

This is one HELUVA good story - possibly the best I've read. The detail you've gone into of Tom's feelings & responses has helped me to get right inside his skin & FEEL his anger & pain

I just can't understand though how an intelligent woman like Marianne who is so committed to staying married (she says), would not call the whole thing off after Tom starts to smell a rat. Either she's incredibly naive or she thinks he's incredibly stupid. The third possibility is she’s an amazing actress & I’M incredibly naive. I guess part of me is waiting for a quirk there somewhere.

I'd like to see Eddie get some kind of payback. I realise it's not essential to the plot but it would make ME feel a whole lot better - particularly after the anniversary incident.

Can't wait for the next chapter

I first started reading Literotica because I couldn't figure out why, beyond the obvious reasons, spouses cheat and how they can ever deal with the aftermath. Your story is telling me more than most. You tell your story and I will read it. I love your style and your insights into the pain that people give themselvese. I'm not done with the House of Cards and with more lies being constructed, I don't think your characters are yet either.

but tells tom that eddie made LOVE!!!! to her four times the day before thier anniversary. far too many lies to take her back, if she is capable of lying when caught why not any time she chooses to in the future.

First off, you are a great writer, and ultimately you should write the story that YOU want to tell rather than what WE want to read. Having said that, there are some things for you to consider.

First, if you intend to tell a story where a couple reconciles after an affair then by all means please do so, but if you're striving for realism then don't make the cheating especially lengthy or heinous. A drunken encounter is one thing, but a prolonged emotionally intimate relationship is quite another. Second, if you're aim is to be realistic, then BE REALISTIC and don't suddenly shift into a fantasy land. Certain behaviors I can attribute to the fact that love makes people do crazy things, but Tom is really starting to lose what's left of his credibility. Lying about having his own affair seems incredibly beneath him, especially as he was written in earlier chapters. Is it just me, or is the fact that he's lying about getting revenge sex worse than if he actually were doing it? Either do it or stop playing these childish games.

As for why so many people are pissed off at the idea of a reconciliation, I think it's because none of us as readers can see any of the alleged qualities that drew Tom to Marianne in the first place. We see a cold, calculating, lying, selfish bitch who's unworthy of his love, therefore any attempt to stay with such a person seems foolish. How can he ever trust her again? He certainly can't take her word for it. Who's to say that down the line she won't be tempted by an illicit affair again? She's clearly showed she has zero integrity. She was able to lie so easily to his face before, why should he believe her now?

Tom is becoming less and less likeable because he has lost all the strength he had at the beginning of the story. He no longer seems decisive, he now comes across as a wishy-washy pussy who has zero sense of self worth. Again, I can apreciate the fact that he's loved her deeply for 16+ years, and wishes to stay with her because he thinks the marriage is worth saving. Yeah, and I wish I was a Jedi knight, but all the wishing in the world doesn't make it so. Whatever redeeming qualities Tom sees in this marriage that make him want to preserve it are not apparent to the rest of us. There really doesn't seem to be a rational way to keep the marriage intact, and to have the characters reach for implausible solutions would be doing your writing a disservice.

Finally, the last two chapters really haven't advanced the plot at all. Both deal with Marianne trying to explain her side of the story, perhaps it would have been better to combine chapters 5 and 6.

Firstly, I don't like having to choose a rating until you finish this story. How can anyone just rate a picture just by seeing a tiny pat of it.

Now, you have a lot of loose ends which I hope you will fix.

"I knew what she was telling me the truth." -Tom

Really? After SUCCESSFULLY lying to him for 8 MONTHS, now he's an expert, kow he knows?

And the tape recording... She knows he's taping her. So faking a phone conversation wouldn't be that hard.

This guy is a moron, or looks that way. Hopefully you'll address some of that in the next chapter.

Then there's this Eddie guy. Why's he still breathing? Dows Tom really find sleeping with a married woman that acceptable, and to top it off, Tom KNOWS Eddie was "marking his territory" by having his honeymoon night with her the day before their anniversary, but he still isn't angry about it? Look up the definition of wimp and see how they compare.

Then there're his friends. Doesn't look like one has taken his side at all. They're all saying to work it out, don't throw your marriage away. Is everyone actually Marianne friend? Doesn't he have any of this own?

How about putting in a friend (maybe divorced since the same thing happened to him) who says he doesn't need her and proceeds to set him up with eligible women, or at least get him laid?

Of course, if most of his friends live in their parent's basement, etc, etc... (Tom, king of wimps, :-)

Hopefully you can see the problem here, if there is one. Ultimately, the story is your but your readers don't want to read a wimp/cuck story.

Psychologically this chapter is wrong. Minigales criticisms are astute. Rotten Eddie has got to be dealt with. Though Tom wants to believe Marianne how can he? He's got to be wary. He's got to find out what is really going on because her words could be a camouflage. The relationship with Eddie (hear the audiotape) was not winding down. She can't be trusted. The trust is shot. Perhaps---and some readers will never buy this---he will take her back but he had better have a personal version of the Patriot Act in place. There is no way that she can be trusted. How many times and ways must this be said, and it can't be said too often---her credibility is shot. It will take years, if ever, for her to earn Tom's trust again. Of course, Tom could be a naive fool. I'd hate to see that be the truth but it could be.

The beginning of this chapter is filler. Even the interior feelings portrayed have been depicted before. It is like watching someone sitting in a chair crying. What is happening? The person is sitting in a chair crying. No real words except "woe is me". Yes, the pain Tom feels is substantial(an understatement) but as a character in a story Tom can not be left wallowing in his tears, and other characters like Steve and Andrea do nothing but give him Kleenex. Tom's lunch with Andrea didn't advance the story one iota---not one. No hard facts, no revelations for the reader(who in fiction is more important than the characters in the story).

Eddie must be dealt with. Tom has to verify--somehow--that Marianne isn't lying to him now to save herself---if she is the party at fault, she could lose the house, the respect of her kids, perhaps of her co-workers and the community in which she wines, dines,farts and fiddles.

And Susan's role? That friend Susan! She enabled Eddie to get back in touch with Marianne again. Eddie has to be dealt with.

I'm supportive in your writing efforts, Ohio, and I realize that the next Chapter or Chapters have already been submitted, but please take the intelligent criticisms---and maybe even those just right from the gut---to heart and mind for your next story, which we hope you will write. Writing stories are not easy. If they were, I'd write and post them as well. It's hard work and you want to do it right.

We, your readers, want you to be successful, because we get a good story out of it and live vicariously, as they say, through your characters.

playingcardcompany

What nonsense. Why bother saying more?

A meta-comment:

What the author (Ohio) has done is create a very interesting story.

You may not like the way some of the characters have been developed.

You may not like the direction the plot is taking. But it's Ohio's

story to do with as he/she sees fit.

The fact that this story has probably generated more comments

than any other I've seen here is a testimony to the author's

skill in telling a story. It has gotten you interested in the characters!

It has gotten you interested in the plot line! It has gotten your attention!

This is what a good author lives for. To get your attention and to

get you to read his/her story. Well done, Ohio!

This guy is the most fucked up, limp dick, queer, cocksucker, to ever grace the pages of Literotica. I think that he would like for Eddie to fuck him in the ass and then he would clean Eddie's dick with his mouth.

My interest in this story is fading fast. Tom started out a strong charcter with the moral high ground. Now he is dithering over his feelings for her and joining her in telling lies, and asking his friends to tell lies.

I realize this is just a story, but many people try to lives their lives vicariously as these characters. People stuck with a cheating spouse because of religion, economics, children, etc, enjoy reading how they would like to be able to live their lives, by dumping the cheating partner, getting various types of revenge, and going on to a happier life.

There are so many different people in the world, no doubt some would act like Tom. That makes the story believable. That said, it does not make it enjoyable. Reading a story about a mass murderer who gets away is believable, but not enjoyable.

The first five chapters of this story were well written and enjoyable, to me. The last chapter seems to bring about major character changes that I don't care for. It looks to me like the bad guys are winning.

When you buy a car that is a lemon, do you say to yourself 'I shouldn't blame the car manufacturers. They were doing their best." Or do you, like I have done, bitch and moan about that model and perhaps that company to anyone who will listen for years?

That said it's true being an author is tough.

But I think this story is a trainwreck; I could go into specifics but I hardly think in the angry mob that my thoughts would be heard -- or needed.

Still realize that the reason this story is getting such a high level of emotionally charged feedback is because: (1) Readers have begun to sympathize and identify with the main character. they believe this guy is a smart loving regular husband and when they see him start acting in stupid submissive nonsensical ways they get upset; (2) the story kicks up something that has happened in their personal lives and in seeing the unreasonable/unmanly/deluded ways in which the protagonist acts it is like the gorge of a horrific meal struggling to come back.

I'm sorry the author is taking such a beating but it's like taking the slim safe trail through a minefield while planting mines behind you while you go. Having stopped don't be surprised that there is no way to get out without something blowing up on you.

This is another of those bullshit stories where the wife gets away with everything. She says that she didn't want to hurt him but did everything she possibly could to hurt him. He said that she was smart and boy was she. She said tht she didn't think he would find out. But I bet this bullshit she is telling him was well thought of in advance in case he did. She is a liar and a scheemer and when the fool does reconcile with her, you can bet she will think of how she can make a fool of him again.

She might as well cut off his balls because he doesn't need them. The way this is going I am not even going to read the rest of the story. Why bother?

I get a kick out of the of the readers saying it's crap, or bad story. Your reading it arn't you? There's 50,000 stories in Literotica, find one that appels to you. This is the authors story not yours. I found chap.6 to be good. The writer is developing multiple choices here. Keeps us wondering 'What's next'?

I just hope he gets revenge on Eddie. But I'm not big on wimp stories and believe in revenge to help clear the ego thing. He keeps saying Eddie only used his wife because she let him. Yes, that's true, but he knew she was married and did use her. Sorry, but he shouldn't get away with it.

But that's the authors decision, not mine. But I'm interested in what comes next. We know Marianne lies with a straight face, who knows if she's lying now?

So please give the author a lot of credit. He's got us all interested and we've been here for 6 chapters.

What a great series,and what a lying,cheating bitch she is.'I didn't mean to hurt you!!!'.I don't know where the the story is heading,but I will be with it to the end.Personally I'd get rid of his wife and Eddie,and who needs friends like Steve /Andy

This is a well written and thoughtfull story, thanks for writing. I am amused by some of the comments about what a waste of time the story is. Obviously these anonymous reviewers would never stoop to reading such drivel; yet here we are reading Chapter 6 and they are still with us!

" Can you tell me that you never once thought about him while you were in bed with me? Can you look me in the eye and say that you never once, while I was stroking your breasts or licking your pussy or fucking you, thought about Eddie doing those things? When we finished making love, and lay together happily in each other's arms, can you swear that you never thought about how it felt to be lying in Eddie's arms after sex?"

"Tom baby, you are so fucking stupid that I could look you in the eye and tell you that shit tastes like wild honey and you would run out to get a five pound jar of it."

Tom is wimping out. What turned out to be a great story has become the start of a cuckolded, cum sucking, full fledged wimp, ready to do anything to keep Maryanne as soon as he vents his frustration to her for her indescretions.

The only thing that could save him now is to discover that the worthless motherfucker is still lying to him by him finding out that Eddie has been steadily fucking Maryanne there, in their house, by the surveillance tapes of his hidden equipment in the house. The author has not mentioned those in a long while but unless I missed something along the way they are still in place and working.

Of course him loving her so much and being so fucking gullible,he would believe it if she told him she was just having a dream and was was hollering "please fuck me harder Eddie."

I see no hope for him now except that scenario. I also still think that Steve and Andrea are in this thing too somehow, and he not only is being betrayed by Maryanne, but his friends as well. Never trust a wife's girlfriend. They will lie like a fucking whorehouse pimp too.

The possibilities are limitless on what to expect from this author. He has not revealed the outcome in a previous story so the outcome will be a first. I'm still banking that Maryanne is still true to her character. Still lying, cheating, still fucking her lover at every opportunity, and banking on her ability to deceive, and Tom's love for her to have her cake and eat it too.

The author has gotten to his readers in that he has generated in them so much passion in their comments, including mine.

I don't trust women. the last one I trusted was my mom who has been dead for 10 years. lol Most of the ones like Maryanne would do anything to keep up the status quo. I do wish the author had mentioned the fact that Tom was knocking down 200K a year and Eddie was a beer truck driver and was now part time due to tougher DWI laws . That would have made a big difference to me on believing her "transformation" from lying cheating slut to loving (really) wife.

Gary

like the story,don't understand the husband. How can he trust her now. his lie about his affair justifies her affair. if he does it to why is she wrong. the purpouse of fiction is to make us think about our feelings. i do not know what i would do in this situation but i hope i would be tougher than the husband!

Sorry. She's becoming more cardboard with every episode. The whole thing now reads like it's being dictated in your head without being translated into an actual story. All those speeches of him talking with her little comments - that isn't the way people talk or act.

Also, you filled this story with many details that really damn her. Even in this episode, she refers to making love and other intimacies while she's talking about how she justified cheating on the man she loves because he was never supposed to know. There is absolutely no rationale in her character for him to forgive her. If you continue with this as a forgiveness story, then it's really all about the man and would be lacking as a story because he would have no motivation.

From: Tom

Re.: Your affair

I would like to schedule an appointment to once again go over the details of the affair you had with one "Eddie." If you could find the time to meet with me, that would be wonderful. I would like you to know that I still love you regardless of what has happened.

Respectfully,

Tom

Yes, he started out as a strong husband but now he is sliding down the cuckold trail. He needs to do a few things right now: 1. Start divorce proceedings-they take a few days and will have Marianne moving a little faster; 2. Find Eddie and figure some way to punish him-it doesn't have to be physical. He may not be the engine, but he provided the key; 3. Stop taking so long to get her story-either get it in one day, or go to divorce.

This woman has lied like a pro, cheated for nine months and was planning on several more months if she hadn't been caught. Why is he still there? All the love in the world can't make up for a betrayal of this caliber.

Started good. Died.

Unless she is lying to him now, then he catches her calling

Eddie (remember the recording devices), then he is heading

down the Wimp Hubby Cuckold trail.

You know I will sometimes watch a soap opera with my wife who loves them. While trying to grasp some understanding of the plot I find myself laughing at the abasement of reality. Thats where I am at with this story.

The shame is that I don't think Ohio intended to write it in soapy way but thats where it is growing unreasonably to.

Lets face it, at the core of any relationship is not only caring love but respect, trust and truth. When these are all abused over a period of time, while the love may still be present in some degree, it is unfathomable to most that a reasonable minded spouse would tolerate, perservere and wade through the self inflicted pain of rehashing what they already know without taking action.

Most stories of any memorable worth have a central figure who can be identified with - who has values and credibility - strength of character and some reality.

A Soap Opera has no such expectation whereas this story opened with strong expectations but has transitioned into - mutated into something less credible. My hope is that it happened unintentionally as the new author showed a sensitivity and talent not often seen here. I hope it is just a learning experience and not just a new cuckold artist blossoming.

with unfortunately less Regard

The author took great pains to map out a conflicted situation with realistic, ambivalent characters. The husband's actions in chapter five are forshadowed in previous installments (example; providing multiple opportunities for the wife to "tell the truth"). Stories are about characters who want something, and can't (immediately) have it. The protagonist knows what he wants (still wants to be married) and isn't confused at all about what stands in the way (including himself). This story is an excellent piece of work.

But for some readers, there appears to be an emotional disconnect on this topic. The author's efforts to explore an uncomfortable situation with nuance and insight deserve better than simplistic labels like "wimp," which tend to illuminate the critic's emotional response rather than the story itself.

You started an excellent story. It has begun to flounder for several reasons, most of which have been mentioned. You have introduced characters, but they have not come into play. In these types of stories, each character has a purpose. The readers are wondering about the kids, her "friends", Eddie, Eddie's friends, and the husband's friends. There are a lot of people in on this "secret"! She knew that they all knew, and yet felt confident she could keep everything from her husband. She appears to think he has the IQ of a box of rocks. (I know the first prick that heard I was having an affair would borrow money to call my wife!) As an author you should leave the reader wishing there was more, not less. You are very close to crossing that bridge. Fewer chapters, condensed down considerably would have worked well. Remember, length isn't everything! Your story has been riveting, but the audience is growing restless.

She said "perhaps I owe it to you?" What kind of fucking sap is this guy?? She is always going to be a selfish self centered bitch. Her beauty is only skin deep, she just doesn't get it. Unless she has a severe revelation, he still needs to dump her ass. And he REALLY needs a new woman, not make-believe!

I have to agree with most of the comments on this story. It started well, but it's becoming more and more unbelievable. In reality, there's no way Tom should be behaving as he does, unless he's a complete loser and wimp.

You've presented the wife as a great person who's had a great marriage up until her affair with Eddie. But there's no evidence of this whatsoever except that people in the story say so. She's never done or said anything that could even begin to explain why Tom would love her as he seems to. She just digs herself into a deeper and deeper hole with each new chapter. Judging the way she's behaved in the story, there's no possible way they could have had a happy marriage for so many years, because she has no redeemable charactistics and is incapable of thinking of anyone else's feelings but her own. Problems would have arisen long before this.

If Tom finally wises up and leaves her, then fine. Please end the story like that.

But if in fact you are planning on heading this story to some kind of reconcilliation between them, I would advise you rip up whatever you had planned for the next part and start over, taking the reader's comments into consideration. Most people feel the same way. You're getting so many comments because people are just flabbergasted at how illogical the story is becoming. You need to do something drastic to begin to make her have a redeemable character. His lying about having an affair seems to be going in the wrong direction. If she was worth saving as a wife, she wouldn't need that nudge to start to take the situation seriously.

Here's a suggestion. If Marianne wants to redeem herself, she should start by hurting Eddie. That's right, hurt him. Not physically, but make him suffer emotionally in a very big way. Not only does Eddie need a comeupance for his evil behavior (the fact that Tom doesn't seem to care about Eddie is so unbelievable - Eddie wasn't just having an affair, he was deliberately sticking the dagger into Tom with the whole anniversary thing and whatnot for no other reason than a hateful power trip on a complete stranger!), but she needs to do this to show Tom that she has completely broken off her emotional ties with Eddie. The way she's left it, she's told Eddie what great, fond memories she'll have of her affair! That's insane! It should come out that she's already done this, before she heard about Tom's fake affair.

Then Tom should move to some kind of Timbuktu and stay there for two years. Drop all contact with Marianne, but keep a close and secret surveillance on her. If, after that time, she has remained faithful and finally seems genuinely regretful, then maybe he can begin to consider taking him back. She needs to suffer as well for her completely selfish attitude.

If there aren't some really dramatic moves along these lines, then Tom deserves all the pain Marianne can dish out, because he's a complete cuckold and loser to even consider taking her back at this point. She didn't just have an affair - she betrayed him on the deepest possible level and still doesn't "get it." Making a list of feelings and cooking a nice dinner? That's insanity! If the story continues like that, I'm going to feel so sorry that I've wasted any time and emotional energy reading it.

Right now, I feel like I've been cheated by reading this story. You started out so well presenting the characters as being one type of person, and then everything they've said and done since is in contradiction to the type of people you said they are.

This last two chapters are definitely dragging things out, and not as good as the previous ones. I said earlier that I don't see a reconciliation possible between these two, and while I am a hopeless romantic and love happy endings, you still haven't given Marianne any qualities that are deserving of Tom taking her back. She repeatedly claims that her marriage came first, but her actions speak volumes! My high school english teacher had a saying, "Your walk talks and your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks." Actions speak louder than words, and her actions have stated that her affair came first, right up until the moment Tom played her fuck session with Eddie. If she really put her marriage first, then she wouldn't have let Eddie fuck her the day before her anniversary, and she would have cracked at the first sign that her husband suspected something. Given those two actions, all of her words now ring hollow.

You also made a mistake with Tom lying to her about him seeing someone else, now he has sunk to her level. I understand that he doesn't have an interest in another woman, but to lie about that really saps his strength as a character.

Another thing is that he's still FAR TOO TRUSTING of her! Does he not remember that she LIED to him for MONTHS?!! Her lying to him goes far beyond the ones she told to his face, she lied to him every time she walked in the door, said "I love you", let him call her "Anni", made love to him, and let him think everything was great between them. Lies are not only words, but actions as well.

As for Tom knowing that she ended the affair because he heard her talking to Eddie in the car, I don't know what he heard, but I heard a STAGED conversation. Her calling him "baby" gives it away, a wife who is truly feeling remorse over what she has done and is trying to end the affair, is not going to use terms of endearment to end it! Also Eddie doesn't seem like the guy who would only try once to keep the affair going, and that is evident in the fact that he tried and succeeded in ruining their anniversary. At the very least, Tom should wait and check further conversations between the two, and there undoubtedly have been more, to confirm that it's truly over. Then he should hire a private investigator to confirm that by following Marianne. There is no trust between them, and he should stop acting like there is!

For now it looks like you are steering them towards reconciliation. This would have worked out brilliantly if you hadn't painted Marianne as a heartless bitch in the first four chapters. You laid no groundwork for her to be a likable character, and that is why alot of people are angry at Tom for caving in. It's far easier to accept a husband who decides to forgive a wife with a heart, than him forgiving a wife who is a bitch. Marianne is a bitch, a lying, cheating, and conniving one to say the least. She has no respect for Tom, and neither do I after these last two chapters.

The only way to make a respectable reconciliation out this, is to have Tom divorce her first. Then maybe after time passes and other events happen, just maybe Marianne would change enough to be deserving of Tom. That is the corner you painted yourself into with the first four chapters, and these last two have undermined the story overall.

I realize this is your first effort, and you have a knack for telling a compelling story, but remember that you have to make your characters consistent throughout the story. If you don't, then the result is the number of negative comments you have received for the last two chapters.

After reading the various comments, including my earlier one, it appears the author has difficulty in structuring and developing storyline characters. There appears to be a lack of consistency and coherence as to what is taking place. His tools are his words and imagination and the way they are put together and like a house being built, the foundation is the key.

You might appreciate a certain part of a house and the decorating skills that went into it and even comment that you enjoy the house, but if the structure is flawed, it is a "House of Cards".

So readers, as we dicuss the pluses and minuses of the author's storyline, I believe his use of words and imagination has eroded the structure in putting the story on a farcical level that it doesn't appeal to me anymore.

The last part of the imaginary affair does not assist me in appreciating the direction of the storyline. The premise is that Marianne will understand his pain but the result maybe that it allows her to continue her affair. "gee, honey I was so pissed at you having an affair while I was discontinued mine, that I resumed it..but don't worry, I'll quit mine when you quit yours".

Furthermore, as was said in other comments, you do not throw characters into a story [ kids, steve & Andrea, Eddie, susan, Jack and alice ] without purpose in developing the story.

I BELIEVE THE "HOUSE OF CARDS", may eventually conclude to symbolize the poor structure the author has place in creating his story...albeit..some interesting parts [eg: the den or family room of a house ]..but crumbling due to the weight of a poor foundation.

But it is a very good start to building new houses [stories] and learning from past mistakes.

These are my two cents.

This time without anger and more towards looking forward to your next effort.

Andy

I read this late last night (early this morning?) after dozing off in front of the TV, oh, about 2:00 AM, EDT, and I decided to skip adding a comment in my groggy state. I come back, and I see page after page of comments that, for the most part, echo my misgivings of this story. Saying you're dragging this story out would be kind.

If you want to have them part, you could have, and probably should have, reached that point by now. If that's your intention, you've established that already -- in spades. We get the point. All you're doing is being redundant and dragging it out.

Despite what she planned, she was in an emotional relation with Eddie to the detriment of the one with Tom. It went beyond just fucking, it was intimate. She also had not respect for Tom. Despite her claims to the contrary, she rationalization that it was OK or she could get away with it was based on an assumption of Tom's stupidity. After eight months, when he starts catching on, her excuse for continuing to lie to him was that she panicked? That means she never once considered the possibility of him being to add one and one. This is a clear indication of the regard, or I should say lack of regard, she has for him.

If you want to have them stay together, well, considered the negative comments you've received so far as being relatively kind. To do so would mean having to negate every single word and action you wrote before, and that's the kind of betrayal that really pisses off a reader. Any reconciliation -- ANY -- would be not only illogical but mentally questionable.

It seems you are making this up as you go, rather than launching into it with a plan of where you want it to go. Oh, you may think you had (i.e, having them reconcile), but, if that was your goal, you've written yourself into a corner. You also set up but continually miss things. The main one is the pet name. You established earlier how important that was to him, how big a betrayal and indication of the depth of the relation between Eddie and Marianne, but outside of him mentioning that he knew Eddie called her that, he never brings it up. She could use the old "Honey, it's not love, it's just fucking", but the pet name proves that is a lie. That is the real betrayal. If it was just fucking, just the sex, maybe Tom could get beyond what happened, but her betrayal was a lose of intimacy and feelings and closeness that should have been his alone.

The marriage must end. There can be no other solution, even -- especially -- if it isn't the one you wanted. Any other would be an insult to the readers.

One commenter stated you must be doing something right if we keep coming back and adding pages of comments. The real reason is easy. At first your characters and situation were real and strong. We got interested in what happened. But now that the story has deviated so far from where you began, we just want to see were you end and how you get there. Have you ever read a book, seen a movie, that starts strong, but after awhile you just want it to end and the only reason you stick with it -- and your fears of where you thought it was going prove correct -- is that you just want some closure. That's this story.

Based on all of the comments you have obviously touched a nerve.

Like many others I am anxiously waiting to see exactly where you are taking this. Looking at the title, I wonder if you haven't always intended for the "House of Cards" to collapse and are mearly toying with us as you develop the story.

You have the opportunity to take us in many directions now.

1) He tells her he was lying about the relationship with someone else so she could feel his pain, then dumps her.

2) She does indeed finally realize the pain she has caused and they are able to move forward.

3) They try to move forward, but he finds out that, as some have suggested, she is still lying and seeing Eddy.

Just to name a few. I agree that the faith and trust are dead. He has to continue to record in the car and get to the recordings in the house. IF they are going to reconcile she will have to know that:

1) There will be no other chance for forgiveness. One more slip and she is gone.

2) She will be under CLOSE scrutiny for a LONG TIME.

3) No lies, ABOUT ANYTHING, no matter how seemingly insignificant will be tolerated.

4) Revenge must be visited upon Eddie. This creap new she was married and intentionally sought to destroy that marriage.

Keep writing. I check each morning to see if there is a new chapter yet.

I really like the first four chapters, but the last two have just dragged along. All that has gone on is that marianne has gotten a chance to tell her side of the story, and you have given her time to come up with more lie's, if not for now than the future. She says her marriage came first, but like they say....actions speak louder than words. Also when she called to end her affair with eddie, she called him babe. I agree what others say,that is that she new she was being recorded so she probably faked the conversation to make her husband think that it was over. I think this story is dying. But that is my opinion. Hope the end is soon. Yes i will finish reading it to see where the hell you go with it.Have to say, i don't like the way this is heading.Don't have anything against forgiveness, but she didn't just have a physical affair, she had an affair of the heart.That in itself is unforgiveable.

Follow your muse. You obviously have a talent for touching some primal emotions in a lot of readers. Don't let the critics slow you down. Frankly, I wouldn't have enough nerve to submit a story in parts because the criticism would depress me so much before I was done. Don't let that happen to you. Write the story inside you. Then absorb the criticsm before your next story.

I have already commented on the story below. This comment is mainly addressed to other readers, especially those who try to maintain a binary way of thinking: it is either perfect or a pile of crap.

There are no questions that this story generated and maintained a lot of interest. The almost equally important and necessary reasons are:

1. The theme of the story as a realistic story with real characters (as promised by the first chapter) that touch our life emotionally.

2. The extreme talent of the author at telling a very compelling story.

I say this becuase if the same author wrote a wimp husband story, I will not read it. Also if a bad author wrote this same story I will surely not read it.

Before reading some of the comments below, I thought there were no questions that nobody was perfect and that included the author.

While the author is obviously very talented, I see his problem as I understood it from his comment on a previous chapter that he did not have a complete vision of the story. Instead, he chose to let the characters lead him through. Although there is not an inherent problem in that, it may be fatal for a long story or a story developped over a long period of time, especially given the pressure to deliver subsequent chapters as fast as possible. Alas, nothing comes for free.

At every junction, the author certainly considers different options. What happens in a long story delivered fast without a complete vision is that inconsistencies creep up on the author very slowly and he no longer remembers the past decisions he made at every junction, but the readers do and can spot serious flaws that the author did not know existed.

So, we are reading the story because it drew our interest, but we are voicing our concerns that it is losing credibility. Although we are still reading and commenting, we may lose interest if the story keeps going downhill. Some readers have commented that they had already lost interest and believed that they had wasted their time.

My suggestion to the author here is to reread the entire story and try to salvage it if the story has not been entirely submitted. In either case, I suggest that he reread the story and rewrite it according to his character personalities. This started as an outstanding story. I would really hate it to go to waste. I do not know how many people have already read it, but I am sure that many more will read it over the years, so it is certainly worth fixing even if through rewriting.

At the end, I want to thank the author and wish him luck in this story and future efforts. I really appreciate what he is doing.

I was just re-reading the eariler chapters and caught this from Chapter 2:

"After a few quiet minutes, me lying with my head on her shoulder, still not looking at her, Marianne spoke. "My God, Tom, nobody else gives me orgasms like that!" Then, seeing the look on my face, she laughed (she laughed!) and said, "Oh, honey, you know what I mean. There isn't anybody out there who ever COULD give me orgasms like that."

What if the next lie she is caught in is that Eddie is not the first affair and/or is not the only ongoing affair. I'm not sure how you would accomplish learning he wasn't the first affair other than maybe find some old diaries or something like that. Now that would make for an interesting twist.

House of Cards? I thought Tom would kill himself being the King of hearts. House of Cards???

Im trying like a game of Jeopardy to figure this one out before it gets online!!

Truly I am jealous of Ohio's writing prowess, I could never have written this.Are you someone we already know and read!LOL!!!

The flow of sentences is good. Enough to keep me enchanted, its the Mental aspect of this story that does not jive,as many of the previous comments posted have mentioned, I wont belabor the pointS!!! No one with a brain could do what Tom is doing, fortunately I have never been there.

I am usually vicious so I know this story would have been done in one chapter if it was me.

I await the rest of the story, in the next sitting dude, please, it is irritating.

blow it wide open and Kill the bitch or say "SUCKER LIVES HERE!".

Bravo for your efforts.

BTW,

Is this therapeutic for you?

Well, it started out with some potential but seriously, where is it going now? Its just too implausible. Three breasted green alien women nymphos who kidnap the lonely horny guy while he was driving down a dusty dirt road has more plausibility.

-Hex

This story to me looks like its falling apart. We still cant believe the wife and if we cant then the husband sure as hell shouldnt believe the wife and i dont know about some people but i would want some sort of revenge against eddie sure it was the wifes fault but i think ever guy would feel better after getting some level of revenge against the guy.

I also agree with some of the other commenter that divorce is the only option and that maybe after some time then they get back together.

Folks

its obvious that as the story has been presented by Ohio.. she is STILL cheating on TOM...

she lied and lied and lied and fucked and fucked and again 4 or 6 times either on or before their anniversary....

when confronted by the thong ... she lied. She called Eddie and told him to cool it NOT end it. When confronted again by the Motel room she lied again.

hardly the words of someone ending the 8 month affair.

The words " I suppose I owe it to you"... and "I couldnt cheat on you without lying COULD I?" are very disturbing wortds.... its like hey you stupd bastard this is all your fault...

Then she says this....

No Tom!" Marianne nearly jumped up from the sofa. "That's not how I feel at all! My love for you is deeper now than it was when we were married. You are more important to me than you've ever been! ....

when a few days ago she says this

"Oh Eddie your cock is sooo big and wonderful..."

Its not that TOM is a whimp per se.... everytime I see him heading down this road the author comes out with strong words and actions for tom...

He has to go back on Check on her. There is No reason to believe her at all... The odds are high that TOM is the one building a house of cards.

I can't recall ever being so disturbed by a story as this one - it's driving me crazy with frustration, and not in a good way! It started off so well, with great writing and deep emotional depth. But it seems like the author was winging it and has painted him or herself into a corner as the contradictions in the chararcters and the story pile up. As a reader, there's nothing more frustrating!

As you the author are a first time story poster, I don't want to be discouraging. You have a lot of talent. But if you respect your readers and their interest in this story, I hope you'll reconsider what you're doing. If you've already submitted the next part continuing along these same lines of a completely unrealistic and/or completely unsatisfying reconcilliation, you can unsubmit it before it gets posted. You can even completely revise previous parts and repost them.

Please take these criticisms from many readers to heart. You've gotten so many people emotionally hooked, which you should be proud of, but now they're distraught by the flaws in the story. I think you can still pull this story away from the looming disaster where you're losing and disappointing most of your readers, if you put a hold on where this is seeming to go and reconsider what you're doing.

It doesn't matter if you're planning on the characters staying together or break apart. Either way, they're not behaving anywhere close to the way two people in a near-perfect 16 year marriage should be behaving. Their marriage wouldn't have lasted so long or so well if the wife had this almost breathing lack of guilt or empathy or love or respect that you've given her. She's one of the most desipcable characters I've ever come across in a story, yet supposedly she's such a great person. She hasn't said or done a single thing that puts her in a positive light. Such deep flaws in her character would have been exposed to the husband and friends in many ways long before this. It doesn't add up! And the husband's illogical reactions just make it worse, no matter what he does from here on.

Please fix, and make this the great story it still has the potential to be.

I withheld comments on the previouys chapters, with the idea of giving you a great grade when he boots her ass out. Now that he is obviously going to be a cuckold wimp you can have the goose egg you are entitled to. I won't need to read the rest.

I love the story although it's so painful. I'm torn between the hubby being a wimp and pulling through for his marriage. One thing I thought of: if he really wants to try and save his marriage, he should put the bitch in a chastity belt to prevent her straying again. Of course she could still give a blowjob, but chances are she'd be too embarrassed that somebody would rub against her or reach down and find out. Or he could tie her up and let her watch while he has a few "emotionally fulfilling" sexual liaisons with someone he's good friends with. It must include a lot of cuddles and stroking and intimate whispers -- that's gonna hurt! Either way, she's got to feel lots and lots of pain, which ultimately will only be a small bit of the betrayal she heaped on hubby.

Whatever you decide, I'll keep reading and keep giving you great marks for your fantastic writing abilities.

Hey all you guys who say this is unrealistic...I only have one thing to say BULLSH*T. I Have been there done that burned the T-shirt. Alot of what he is putting Tom through is real, and if anyone want to call ME a wimp, meet me behind the biker bar and we can discuss it. Though I know the pace he is moving Tom is a bit fast but theese are some of the same things I went through, When my ex-wife Said I love you when I went to work, and later when she was supposed to meet me for lunch I had to find out that she decided to take a 5 hour drive to go fuck some dude she met on the computer. Trust I can relate to Tom!!! It will be interesting to see how the author has this all play out. though the only thing I ask is give Toms some more space to figure things out. Well that is my two cents worth and if you dont like it we can always meet behind the above mentioned bar...

look she new what she could get away with and that what she did.now she selling him a bill of goods.he is getting dumber by the minute,cut this lost and move on with the childred.that will kill her taking her kids from her,the kids hope he the dad.

Your comment is interesting in that IMHO there will be no hurt on her part. She doesn't give a fuck about Tom anyway. This is all show. It would actually fuel her on because he too is cheating which will make it more justifiable to her. She has no idea what love or hurt is. Hurt to her would come in the form of "No fucking money" to live off or no place to live.

Gary

Your story has gotten past the point of fantasy and is too real.

I ca't believe that Maryanne actually said, "But I couldn't cheat on you without doing it, could I?" That's like saying "I had to put him to out of his misery after I cut his legs off.".

And I think that Steve and his wife helping the husband in a white lie to exact a little revenge on Maryanne is bogus. Steve's wife is supposed to be friends with Maryanne. Wrong turn...

As you can tell, your story has gotten to many people, including those that feel the only solution is to throw her to the curb. Life is rarely that simple and this story has done a very good job of exposing the angst someone who has been betrayed goes through. Torn by the love of a person they thought they married, and face with the reality that this person is NOT who they are married to. Tough decisions, and lots of possible twists, makes for a good story.

Keep up the good work.

Great story. I found my heart beating faster as I read it. You took a turn I did not expect.

when you wrote that tom was not mad at eddie,you fucked up the story big time , i dont give a fuck how you end this bunch of shit.

AverageJoe said it all in his comment:

"You can overlook loose ends in a good story but its hard to overlook having uninteresting and unsympathetic characters dance around each other and a plot that goes nowhere."

You write extremely well, I am still just interested enough to be waiting for the next chapter, but that could well be the last one unless sometjing happens.

Unfortunately you have left this story with no one for most readres to root for. Basically we could care less for Tom or Marieanne, so there is no real interest left in the story except to see how you end it and how youy get there from an 'academic' and purely objective point of view.

Your job as an author is to catch the attention of your readers and then maintain it through their interest in or empathy with one or more of the characters you paint. You need a good editor who will point out the inconsistencies and have you correct them before you post the story. To that end you should complete the whole story before posting any of it - get it right and then post! Also, that way you will not be tempted to change things because of criticicism, which really is a silly thing to do. After all, it is YOUR story, isn't it?

Good work, but could be so much better than it is with a bit of concentration on the detail.

there is so many ways that can still happened. But the best idea is for Tom to cut his losses, like he suggested. Don't believe either one is in love with each other, they are in love with keeping the marriage going, but I don't see any love between Marrianne and Tom.

For eight months she kept this secret but how come the children never asked Daddy where does Mommy go when you're gone??

Would like you to tie all this together with longer chapters.

It's a great story with a supposition. Commenters give their input from ignorance simply because they imagine what they'd do in a similiar situation, but they won't know until they get bit on the ass. There are simply too many factors in a relationship to predict the reactions.

From the comments I've read they seem to cover the spectrum from cutting the wife stealing SOB's balls and dick off with a dull spoon and sewing them into his mouth as he bleeds to death and giving her a sulferic acid douche, to playing the complete cuckhold.

Do what you will it's an interesting story and take us where you will. Ronnie W.

he used his pet name ... now hubby no longer has a pet name... when she let her slut buddy use her hubbies pet name for her ... what does hubby call her now slut ... bitch ... new pet name is now what freddy ... she would never be anni again not after hearing it used by another ....so thats another thing to get around .... hubby still needsrevenge on the asshole and wife ... he might take wife back but it will never be the same .. the anni thing would just be one part ... he no longer has that so ask her what do i call you now

This story still has me intrigued. Never having gone through a situation such as this I can't see truthfully how I would behave, how I would feel or what I might say. My sympathies remain with the husband here of course and I can't help still believeing he is better off without his wife. I do not feel she truly feels sorry for anything other than the fact she was caught but I will continue to read the next chapters.

There are a few things with your story so far that are not in context with your advised storyline of real life.

* Why did you say that Anni and Eddie go to hotels or motels for their tyrsts when they could just have gone to Eddie's apartment?

* What happened to Tom & Anni's children when she went and stayed at Eddie's place overnight while Tom was away on his business trips?

* As the affair was going on for 8-9 months surely the kids would know that their mother was out at night and often not coming home till the next day.

* There has been very little reference in your story to the children, such as how any seperation will effect them, how would they feel about knowing about their mother's affair, why hasn't Dad called to speak to them over the last 3 weeks since the affair was discovered etc.

* Given your story states that Tom feels that the kids are the second only to Anni in his life - why leave them out of your "real" life story?

* It appears the thread of your story keeps repeating an enforced storyline that reconciliation of the marriage is the only final outcome (it is only a matter of time) for Tom & Anni and yet you appear to go on and on stretching out the scenario like a 3 hour film that should have only been 2 hours (without the sore bums).

* I cannot understand how Tom's preparation of a fancy meal with homemade blueberry pie for his conference meeeting with Anni can have any relevance to real life when there is so many more things of priority that need to be discussed between them. How can making a fancy meal for a cheating wife make any agrieved husband feel good about himself in those circumstances?

* The longer the story goes on the more unreal it is starting to appear. Your story started of so well with so much promise, but now I am not so sure whether it has run out of steam.

Hope your next instalment chapter (I incidently deplore i.e. episodic stories) will live up to the fantastic start and promise the original chapters gave to your readers.

This story started out like gangbusters! This last chapter just didn't do it for me. Yes, he brought up some very damaging points to his wife, and maybe gave her some food for thought, but like most of us, when strong emotions are involved we no longer are eloquent enought to really express accurately what we wanted to say. The bogus fling with another woman may or may not accomplish what he hoped for. We'll see. I look forward to the next chapter, and hope you will be inspired to finish up in a timely manner. All comments by everyone aside, THIS IS YOUR STORY TO WRITE AS YOU SEE FIT. So let your muse guide you, and keep writin em, and I'll keep readin em!

Tim C.

and make you own view, this is your story and I believe you should write it how you choose. You will never please everyone with a story so you should make it how you feel it should be. People who like what you write will continue to read and people who don't won't, not a big loss there.

The story sounds believable only because its plausable. Everyone would react to the situation differently so of course your not going to do what everyone thinks. Keep us on our toes and the storyline flowing and I will continue. to read it. It started great and imo is on the way to becoming a great start for a budding writer keep up the good work

Congratulations, Ohio, you write a fascinating, interesting story, although i have to agree with the majority, it went a little downhill in this chapter.In your first two chapters , I thought Marianne was innocent and Tom was paranoid. By the end of chapter four , I was convinced that Marianne was an adulterous wife with a genius for lying . In the last two chapters, imust admit to being a little more supportive of Marianne, Primarily because I dislike husband who discusses his marital problems with his friends especiaaly Andrea that I would not trust. Finally I dislike a husband who tried to talk his aduterous wife to death without any real plan of action for dealing with her.At this point I sympathize with Marianne who really seems to love Tom in spite of her stupid lecherous affair with Eddy and her treacherous lies to Tom.Sorry, but you need a minority opinion. In conclusion, the ploy of having Tom tell his wife he is sleeping with someone else and haing Andrea and Steve support his claim is really disappointing for a fine writer like you. It makes him seem lower than Marianne and makes me more suspicious of Andrea and Steve. I would not be surprised if they did not suggest swapping partners and swinging with them. 60 year old George

...Tom's lack of interest in Eddie, and his lack of interest in focusing much anger on him - is a sign of maturity.

After all, the keeping of trust, fidelity and honor in a marriage is NOT the responsibility of the outside world: it is the responsibility of the marital partners.

All Eddie did, as Tom points out, is to take what was offered. He's very likely a slime (his avid interest in fucking her on her anniversary suggests he is) but he's basically not of interest to the story.

Little wimp makes her dinner, then lies about being a man and fucking someone else. No wonder she stepped out on him! Still an enjoyable compelling read.(zed)

This was truely a disgusting story. I could not read further without vomiting.

Stick it To her so she can feel how he feels how she cheated on him .

Pat

on this daring approach. I read stories to find out what the author has dreamed up this time, not to put in an order for the same old plot. Anyone who has lived a life will know that extraordinary things happen and no one is perfect. I love how you've maintained real feeling in these characters and put them through seriously challenging scenes. WW

This writer has this character agreeing with his wife who by my calulations has slept with eddie 100 times telling him he was better then her husband,LIED TO HIM many times, planned their next meeting and all he can do is talk about fooling her.I would say he should eddie move in then tom could make them lunch. WHAT ABUNCH OF CRAP.

Showing two very interesting people. Sure one has betrayed her husband and lied, but she is interesting and has a real hang-up about him. He loves her, but recognized that he is not going to easily get by the images of another man in her.

Luckily he did not see her, just heard her on tape. Basically I know that I could not ever trust her again but that is my problem... You are identifying important details and perhaps someone will not cheat after hearing all this...

Maybe if he would fuck himself half to death for a couple of months, he could get rid of some of his hate towards his wife......Rich

Now you have the husband acting like a little kid telling lies what sillyness,anybody that could forgive her for what she done deserve what happens to them.

Read this story a long time ago, more than once probably. It's a classic, and it influenced my pale attempt at a tale. It's one of the top two or three explorations of the "husband slowly discovers his wife is cheating" theme, and adding to the suspense there's the chilling, makes-me-want-to-throw-up characterization of the wife's behavior. (Ohio, you had me from the minute she called Eddie "babe"). The husband's introspection and lecture to the wife about the many levels of his intellectual and emotional reactions is amazingly deep, raw, and moving. And that's why...

...I'm not reading any farther this time around. I know what's going to happen, and I won't be able to take it any better than I did before. I really, really was pissed at Ohio the first time I read the story all the way through! Now, I understand what he was trying to do here; it influenced me to try something similar, but without putting the couple so deep in the hole to start with. As others have commented after later chapters, Ohio was so successful in breaking our hearts and destroying the wife through these first five chapters (and part of this one) that many of us not only couldn't get behind what happens later but felt positively insulted by it!

I hate to say that, because after trying to do "better," I got a lot of comments to the same effect! It is hard, very hard, to rehabilitate a cheating wife--much harder than writing a revenge/punishment story. Ohio and others do not get enough credit for trying. But in this case, my reaction to the first half of his story is so visceral (that's a credit to the writing!) that I'm unable to appreciate the second half. In fact, I'm so depressed already after this first half...

...I'm going to go read a revenge/punishment story for catharsis.

"absolutely pathetic now, self-serving and horrible", your own words. She is a WHORE.

why even speak to the lying bitch

likely to happen more than not, and why be put in the position, again.

blow to her cunt and to his head for even thinking hopeful.

The husband must be the biggest fool in the universe if he is actually considering coming back to this slut.

Wuss Ass Castrated Cuckold. Well written OHIO. brilliantly developed Cuckold one that we would normally rail against. But he is such a loser you got to pity the bastard

I keep hoping for a reasonable ending to this poor bastards misserie but it looks fairly hopeless!

Normally I would wait until the end before I comment but I just can't this time.

Sorry Ohio I normally love your stories as they are usually so well crafted. I just can not find the husband to be a likeable or sympathetic character.

I had hoped with the initial setup; anti-swapping or infidelity, his not wanting to see video, her lying, the length of the affair, and worse the intimacy between her and Eddie that this would finally end in divorce.

Unfortunately I really doubt that at this stage.

And Yes I do dislike the fact that in most of your stories the husband crawls back to the wife.

and flaunt the fact that's he's fucking her, in front of his wife. That the super sexy young girl is the woman he's been seeing

That she's not the only one that can find a young mate to fuck.

I don't see how pretending to be with another woman helps him in his marriage difficulty.

this is one of the worst cases of cheating one could do. and to have any thought about reconcillation is ridiclus. just divorce her and move on .is this another wimp ending?

This is heading towards reconciliation at all costs. Given the extend of her betrayal – a full blown affair and not a single indiscretion - divorce should have been his only course: she cheated on him for eight months. Even near their anniversary she first fucked her lover in way that she couldn’t properly “celebrate” their wedding anniversary later on. She gave him sloppy seconds multiple times after having been with her lover. She demonstrated a lack of remorse and disrespect with her affair that is truly unforgivable. He should have kicked her out right away. Reconciliation may be appropriate at times and in certain circumstances but this is not one of them. The betrayal is just too big and the lost trust will never come back.

You must be new - here is how things work around here. ohio is a RAAC author; there is nothing wrong with that but if it isn't your 'cup of tea' it will cause you some disharmony to read ohio stories.

The stories are well written but often that is not enough to overcome the horror of the hardcore cucking of the husband in these tales. Read at your own risk.

Writes good stories? LOL.

So Ohio is gay ?? I suppose you are a real man then? When exactly in the code of real men did it become permissible to call someone a fag from the cloak of anonimity. Whatever dude. Blow me .