How to be a Closet SubbyBakeboss©
Because we are a clandestine group, there is no way of knowing just how many of us there really are. Just who are we you ask, we are the men who live lives of quiet desperation as normal married men yet yearning to be sub hubs. We want nothing more than to bow before our wives and beg to be their slaves yet we cannot for fear of losing their respect or even worse of losing them. One would think that a wife would be glad that her husband desires to serve her and please her in any way she wishes and yet there is a stigma attached to any man who does not behave in the strict parameters defined as an alpha male.
There is an intrinsic defect in our society, where the female of the species complains about the very flaws in males that they are attracted to e.g. a wife wants her husband to help with the housework and yet sees a man who does housework as weak and emasculated. I realize I'm painting our world with a broad brush but as I am generalizing, I don't mean to offend anyone who falls beyond these boundaries, I know there is a big difference between a husband who helps around the house, and a husband who is desirous of treating his wife as a queen. If a male helps with the laundry, he is helping but if he is hand washing his wife's panties he is serving. To show just how crazy this all is, take the fantasy of the husband pleasuring his wife orally as she relaxes with a glass of wine and a good book, there is a good chance that both he and she could be having this fantasy at the same time yet neither would tell the other of it.
I define myself as a man in a wife led vanilla marriage, that is, I defer any decisions in our life to my wife and yet she always asks my opinion, I think merely as a courtesy. To our friends and children we are a normal couple and in reality, I guess we are and yet I crave so much more. Alone I search the web looking for husbands abused and humiliated beyond belief and feel a pang of jealousy as these men enjoy the labors of honesty over priority.
So how do we men cope with a normal relationship and yet with desires of so much more? On a personal note, I have eased my so-called normal marriage into just enough of a wife led lifestyle that we both are still comfortable with it. My wife enjoys the power she has over me without knowing she could have so much more. As for me, I follow her lead then juxtapose that into my fantasy world. This tilting of the balance of power helps me to fuel my fantasy while still giving me some semblance of respect. This is the compromise I have worked out and as with all compromises both side lose something, I'm sure she wishes she had more of a man for a husband and I wish I were more of a doormat.
To be a sub is not a choice you make, it comes from inside you and it's just what you are. I wouldn't even want to try to get into how a person becomes someone who desires to be used and abused by the person he or she loves. Is it from our childhood or are we born with it, I don't know and I guess it doesn't really matter we are what we are. To live a lie such as I do doesn't mean I reject what I am it is just I'm trying to hide my flaws from the world, and my wife. If I am not a man who wishes to come out of the closet so to speak, that should be my decision to make.
The balance of reality over fantasy is what each closet sub must select. Would your fantasy world be better for you if it were real? That is a question only you can answer, in your mind this whimsy keeps you constantly hard and makes you cum like a race horse and yet would you really like to be on your knees cleaning the toilet with your toothbrush? As I'm prone with my face between my wife's legs worshiping her pussy with my tongue I'm pretending I'm cleaning her lover's issue from her well used cunt. This is extremely exciting to me and I in fact can cum while doing this but to actually put my face into some man's spluge, come on have you ever tasted that stuff.
So the decision is yours, do you want to be a man and admit to your wife your are a wimp or do you want to be a wimp like me and lie to your wife that you're a man. If you're like me there is a line drawn in the sand that you won't cross and that is what we call compromise. I realize it is a strange balancing act trying to blend two complete opposites and yet it's done all across the world every day. Now as far as fooling your wife into thinking you're a real man, come on there is no way, she knows you're a wimp and she's living as big a lie as you. Ah, but that's another story.