- Non-Erotic
- Hunters Ch. 02
- Page 3
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"Dragon's Blood. That's what was in the case," the old man said and set his project down on the counter. There had been almost a full minute of silence. "It's an." he started up again. Max cut him off.
"Experimental combat drug developed by the Martian military to counteract the Syndicate's Bloody Eye. Effects are similar to Bloody Eye, but longer lasting and with no side effects save for extreme, long term addiction. Getting off the habit usually ends in death." Bernie just nodded in response. "How much was in the case?"
"5000 doses. The only thing the note read was 'For the new Lieutenants.' I ain't got the slightest damn clue what that means, but I think we did somethun good by gettin' it off the streets, Max," the old man said and puffed his chest up with pride. It was short lasted and Bernie erupted into a coughing fit. He brought himself back under control and drew in a deep breath
"You all right, old man?" Max asked.
"You're damn right I'm okay, I'm still breathin' ain't I. Anyway, them Black Dragons are gonna be plenty mad at you for takin' that case, and it's a safe bet they know you're the one that stole 'em. It'd do you good to not be someplace where they'd get to," Bernie said, his breathing not quite as soft as it was before he started coughing. Max nodded and headed out the door.
"Maybe I'll get back to work," Max said as he crossed the threshold. "This vacation's killin' me."
Max slowly walked to the hanger where the Mako was parked. He checked it over for explosives, and finding nothing suspicious, he got in and started it up. The engine kicked over, the computer came up fine, and she lifted off the ground. He was out of the hanger and leaving the atmosphere before he turned his television on to channel 99. He had just missed the beginning of Big Shots and the "Today's Menu" screen flashed up. Max was once again not disappointed to see his name on the list.
"After a failed attempt to catch him, this bad man from the badlands is still at large and evaded a posse on Earth! His reward has been raised by an outside source to a whopping 10 Million! Catch him if you can but be careful . . ." the black guy shouted excitedly. Max cut off the transmission and smiled all the way to Robinson's.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 17 years agoThe protagonist could use a foil soon. A sidekick, recurring dream character, or even the computer voice of his ship. Conversations with the foil is a quick way to let the reader get into the protagonist's head a little.
You've introduced him, now he needs a crisis/adventure to expose his want and maybe show us some more of his need for growth.
We also need to see him as a relative good guy in his situation. At this point we know little of his values other than, unlike some other characters, he doesn't kill or cause pain lightly.
