All Comments on 'I Never Saw It Coming'

This is the Sp we know and love. Thank you.

A Happy Ending! Great Revenge! NO Wimps! A Happy Ending! Fun to read! Well Written! A Happy Ending! Great Revenge with A Happy Ending! Gawd! It just doesn't get any better!

NOW THIS IS A MAN TO ADMIRE. GOOD STORY AND PLEASE KEEP IT UP TOO MANY WIMPS OUT THERE.

The wife declaring that it was because Bob needed her was a fine example of speaking without thinking and I get the impression that she all ready acted without thinking. How the new couple could justify what they did to him is impossible for me to imagine, unless of course there were a lot of off-stage occurrences.

Finaly, a real loving wife story with all the elements. Too bad the bitch is still breathing but you can't have everything. Thanks for the pleasure.

It reminded me of a line in a song by George Srait: "I never saw it coming but I knew where it was going".

At LAST! A husband who is not a willing cuckolded wimp. Thank you. To all the pretend asshole authors in Loving Wives..Take note a learn from a real author.

The courts order a 50/50 split but if one spouse is cheating the other's life is destroyed. How is that a fair split. In Steve's case although he suffered the greatest loss at least he got payback. Now Kathy's life is as screwed up as his was and he gets to move on.

Story well written, well told, and well worth the time to read. Thank you for your hard work.

Woodmanone

One of your better efforts. Keep up the good work.

. . . a really well constructed story with despicable characters. I read one recently here by Matt Moreau and now one by Slirpuff. My god, could anyone be more low life than the butthead main character? Imagine what the kids would be like if he did have custody.

Still in all the story was told really well. SP is a pretty good writer and the pacing on this one was excellent. A lot of the details of the legal system use a bit of author's license, but that stuff rarely bothers me if it isn't critical to the story.

Selfish, woe is me, husband and miserable wife and lover. Pitiful story.

..to all of your fan base listing positive comments here.

What amazes me is that after twelve years in a so called happy loving marriage is that a woman (and they do) allows herself to fall in lust and have sex with another guy - notice I didn't say man, a man wouldn't take another's wife!

One thing I do know is in my few short years of experience ( I am only 68) that these woman do, after awhile, secretly regret and wish they hadn't strayed. No one in their family or immediate circle would know but they do regret; unfortunately, a loving, trusting husband and kids will never be the same.

Too bad we can't get enough women like these to go fight our enemies, they would be too emotionally upset to bother with us.

Oh well, thanks again for your usual really good story...'Thanks'.

The stupid wife actually thought she could kiss him and make up after all the crap that went down. I guess she was desparate enough to try to win her meal ticket back. To say that I disliked her would be a severe understatement. I felt the husband's pain. I'm glad he was able to move on. 5 stars

Good while it lasted though. Great read.

One of my pet peeves is that so many stories write about the wimp husband of the husband and wife who can out the past behind them and move on. I real life, I don't know of ANYONE who is really friends with an ex. They may say they are but way down inside they secretly with for the spouse, especially the offending one, to be miserable.

This story showed that the veneer of civilization be dammed, I want the asshole/bitch to suffer!

Good story!

The story was fine - lots of fun - until the ending. Sorry, but it was if the author either 1.) got too bored to continue and think out an ending, or 2.) just couldn't think of any other nasty things to do to the wife, so he had to wrap it up in the next two paragraphs! I mean, after all, he spent more words on the first post-divorce woman than he did on this woman at the end, who he thinks may be his next big relationship.

Or, in the words of the author: the ending was so abrupt, that I never saw it coming! lol.

Slirpuff, please take this in the spirit it is being given - trying to help you make your stories even stronger. And thanks for taking the time to write them and share them with us.

A very good story that is well written and edited. The story has a nice pace and held my interest through out.

Just a very nicely presented story.

Thanks for the good read.

Having practiced divorce law for 20+ years, I've seen more than my share of husbands like the protagonist here. In short, they are husbands so consumed with their hatred that they simply can't move on. Though a bit over the top, you've done a masterful job of portraying that husband's overwhelming and all-consuming anger. Unlike most of the commenters, though, I find his anger sad. It's sad because he doesn't move on until he's wasted yet a few more years being pissed off at the woman on whom he's already done with. But that's from the POV of someone who sees it every day.

Regardless of whether you find the husband's anger proper or sad, though, there is no doubting that this is a very, very well-written story. Your past few stories have really begun tightening up the dialogue, and that just gives the overall product a much brighter shine. I agree with PostScriptor that the ending was a bit abrupt--maybe you could've used the new relationship to show how his anger gradually melted--but that is really getting away from the them of the story and may have actually hurt it. I'd really need to think on that more.

Either way, you know it's a good day when you see something new by Slirpuff, and this latest installment was outstanding even by his (now even loftier) standards.

I liked the story. Yeah, the guy is nasty and overly vindictive. He's not that likable. Some people are like that. To be fair his jail problems were mostly his own fault. He lost his temper big time. Yeah, his wife and Bob are assholes. You don't get to try to kill someone. I find it a little thin when he says he wouldn't kill his wife because he didn't want to go back to prison. Duh, setting someone's house on fire wouldn't get you sent back to prison? I like the way he uses psychological warfare on his wife. He says just the right things that are not legally threatening but scary. As others have commented, the ending is extremely abrupt. He meets a gal he can trust and he is now going to behave himself. Poof. All the anger he has doesn't disappear that quickly. The ending needed the care and development that the rest of the story had.

It's about time we heard from you again!!

Enjoyed your story, but thought the end was abrupt. I also thought Steve's character was extreme, but who knows what private thoughts exist in a persons mind. I'm sure we all have a few black thoughts.

Better than that fantasy of a cement truck rear-ending the happy couple into a tractor trailer at a red light when you are on vacation with your kids.

Always enjoy your style of narrative. Like how you put your plot together. Do not have the same intensity about fidelity that you do. When it happened to me it felt horrible but I came to feel it was about her not me. I did want her controlling me in any way. He gave up months of his life to Karen. The dumb ass.To do what Steve did wpuld be giving up my control to her if I focused on her at all. I will say though that Steve is one of your most despicable characters and most dislikable. Still I always read your stories first. You are a good writer.

Good Read. Enjoyed it! More soon?

Can't end a story? You have written very well in the past. And the general story is your normal excellent self. Finish this one.

A page turner from beginning to end!

It's always good to read something from one of the truly great writers, in this type of story. I too would love to know what happened next, but I loved the story, the characters and I don't think he was extreme at all.

Kudos.

always a treat to read one of your stories. like justice renhquist i feel the ending was abrupt. i hope you revisit this tale and fix that oversight.

a good torch the bitch tale.

Just a couple of things on this story. As others have mentioned, the ending did seem to come pretty quickly. I didn't see it coming.

And I really don't think that it would be a very good idea to have the kids live with their old man. Unfortunately, his bitch of an ex-wife has filled him with so much anger and hate, that I wonder if it would be a healthy environment for the kids to be in. Hell, he plans to sandbag his ex-wife on selling the house just so he can stay in the neighborhood to work on making her crazy. No doubt that she shit on him, but to me the longer he eats himself up with hate, she continues to win. He needs to man up and get on with his life. His kids need him to do that. Let his ex-wife live with the choices that she made and with what is left of her life.

Thanks Slirpuff for an entertaining story! We will look forward to your next.

Run for your lives. Fuckin' A. He exercised his rights as a human being, it has nothing to do with the law. The right to get even or close to it. It's terrible that this fine man had to spend a few months at the Hilton. I think duels should be legal. Twenty paces and let it fly. Hank the contractor was right, the men would have thought he was a hero, the women not so much. He gave them all something to think about. I wonder how many good men have to visit the cage because of a cheating bitch every day. I know a few like Steve, this one hit close to home. I LOVED IT.

Loved the story and how the ex husband handled everything. Keep on writing.

Awesome ... great story of treachery and payback, I feel all warm and fuzzy now. As for they criticisms of the self proclaimed poofter Knob-N-bobber, the only despicable characters were the whore wife and the manwhore she ran off with. You recognize that if you were packing any testosterone. I mean really, any man or woman jilted and fucked over should feel as angry as our hero did, but as any amateur student of human behavior knows... Men tend to fight in a physical manner a And women tend to fight in a social manner of attack. Personally I've never harmed my wife physically or even yelled at her for that matter, but i can imagine that if she ambushed me in the way the wife in the story did all bets and civilized behavior ate off. Now if approached in a fair way after the marriage circles the drain I could conceivably divorce amicably. But any piece of shot bottom feeder anywhere near her and my kids before dissolution, or soon thereafter, well that's a different matter. Vengeance can be found in all sorts of non-lethal forms. Any guy with intact balls understands this ... Knob-n-bobber,... Despicable my ass. The only other weak and perhaps despicable characters are the neighbors who saw and kept quiet, not real friends at all. Again, great story Mr. S !!

That he is using up his life as he is. He is just like many men who get shit on... bitter and revengeful. I wonder if... Ok, I won't say it. Maybe that's my cue to start writing a story.

Thanks for a well written catalyst.

In fact, I thought the ending was just great. All the loose ends were tied up quite nicely. Thanks so much for a believable loving wives tale. If I could have had it my way, he would have been the one driving the car that killed old Bob; at least the cheating bitch thought he was. Five stars!

Until the last three paragraphs. What Happen????????.

to see one of the better writers now catering to the "scorch the Earth" crowd. Sure, the crap from some posters gets to a writer, I am sure. But fishing for high scores from dickwads?

Naw.

But even though the "hero" in this tale is wronged, the reactions of hate, death, destruction? Burning down houses secretly in the dark?

That is the act of a coward.

Come on. Not much of a man to sneak around and do something like that. Then gloat over a death, and make threats of death to the mother of his children? This reader finds a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Man up, Slirpuf. Write what you want, not what you are told to, you are better when you do. This is barely average.

As always, one of the things I've always liked about Slirpuff's stories is that you can never really pidgeon-hole him. Some stories have been moving, some have made you think, some have looked at more than the typical, she-done-him-wrong plot. But some of them are just flat out hard cold tales of men who have been pissed on and can't stand it.

He did a great story about a guy consumed with rage at the three men that fucked his wife while he was tied down. It wasn't very morally uplifting, but it conveyed as well as anything I've ever read the overpowering anger that can twist a man 's soul. This is anohter example of the same kind of story. Maybe in a different life, this guy could have lived with what his wife did and maybe they could somehow have gotten back together again. He's a good enough writer to have made it work. But that wasn't the story he was writing this time.

As I have said before, I'm usually a reconciliation-favoring writer, but this one offered a really good example of torch-the-bitch at its best. I'll agree the ending sucked, but, you can't have everything. Overall, another good story.

Great story. Too bad Kathy didn't get AIDS from Bob and die

I was very impressed with your story. I'll admitt that I like revenge tales but most follow a simple pattern. Your story portrayed a husband who was pushed over the edge by his wife and her boyfriend. I missed him not completing his project to drive his ex mad, but he's working on it.

All and all it was a great read.

Thanks for occupying my evening.

Mendon

Catering to the scorched earth crowd? Fishing for high scores from dickwads? Stories like this are one in five hundred. The author wrote this because he wanted to, I doubt that he was catering to anybody. If you were paying attention you would know exactly why he wrote this story. Take the sick feeling you have in the pit of your stomach and go read about a wife who has gotten away with it, I'm sure that will make you feel better. If not maybe Slirpuff will let one of us dickwads borrow the beamer. And it's still a good story.

But what I'dike to blow about is those so called friends. I've had such friends.. I thimk he should have gotten revenge againt thoes fuck wads also.

S,

When I was young, as I grew older and now over 55, I still could not believe what people do to each other. Parents and their children, brothers and sisters and the most hurtful Husbands and Wives. People in Love do the worst to each other, they die over Love.

Death: sorrow, pain, anger, guilt then acceptance of loss. The pain passes.

Divorce: children, betrayal, anger, pain, revenge or reconciliation? Children you Love. The pain, anger, loss of esteem, embarrassment the stigma stays. The Children, the hurt, the pain and still there forever, the regret.

Death: you bury it and visit the grave.

Divorce: you live with it forever and die with it, daily. To kill what or who stole their life is the same in every persons heart. Some just do something about it.

Slirpuff, he put his children first. You said, and he did.

Great writing. Just not much room for an ending. It doesn't.

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

Hoping there is another chapter to tie up the loose ends!! Please don't pull a JPB on us and Leave us here!! Did the wife go crazy. Did he vet the kids back as he planned throughout your story. All his actions were to get the kids and you leave it out of the ending. Totally JPB style I'd writing. Love your stories and this one is no different

There has to be another chapter, to round out this story, otherwise why would you say, in the earlier part of the story, that he wished for three things to happen too her. The way it is now there is no ending, because he has not got his children back.

The wife skates scott free???

Good story weak ending.

This story had all the right elements: it had tension, conflict, angst, revenge and even acts of synchronicity.

In most cheating wife stories I’m left wondering about the motivation of the wife. Here we have one of the few times where ‘neediness’ is used as a basis for infidelity… and surprisingly it works exceptionally well. I felt that no further elaboration by the wife was required.

You can feel the husband’s rage, his need to balance the scales, to ensure that both parties pay. You can identify with the character even though we know very little that describes him as a person.

In fact, not a single character is given a physical description. We don’t know if the wife is tall or short, thin or curvaceous. She might be a redhead, a blonde or a brunette. Each character is developed strictly based upon their actions in relation to the husband.

This technique gives the story a richer character development.

I especially liked the idea of an accident eliminating Bob, although the ex-wife was led to believe it was murder. It took some courage on the part of the author to add that element.

I recall another story where the husband kills the wife’s lover then later confesses to her when confronted. She asks if she is next and he merely nodes his head. Later in the story she commits suicide. While the writing was good, her death ruined the entire tone of the story.

If there is one thing I would quibble about it’s the lack of emotion by the ex-wife after her husband’s death. She expresses feeling at the funeral but later only seems to care for her share of the former marital home. I would have expected her concern to carry through to the end of the story. That would have been in keeping with what we knew of her to that point.

So what happened with the wife and the kids, did he get custody?

Great set up and great three and a half chapters. Turgid to flaccid.

This story is so sick and twisted and bitter that I found no enjoyment in reading it. You usually write some of my favorite upbeat tales so what caused you to write such a negative story? I kept waiting for a change but the few lines at the end don't do it for me.

I appreciate your stories because they are not all stamped from a cookie cutter. You have tried a lot of variations that have consistently worked.

Your story sailed along until the last few paragraphs. You introduced a new character whom he had been in contact with for years. She should have appeared much earlier. Where was she when he was dating Monika? These paragraphs sound more like Deo ex Machina than a well thought through ending.

That said, I still give this 5 stars. By the way, I do not recall any glaring grammar issues at all. Your editor did a fine job. You should be sure to give her a suitable reward.

Regards,

Ttom

I enjoy all your stories and you are my favorite author. My major concern is your propensity to cut many of your stories short---This was one of your more blatant endings. This story screams for more answers to what happened to the characters.

middle but the end....

wouldn't want this guy on my bad side - wouldn't want to even know him. However, author kept him in character throughout - no jumping the shark or nuking the fridge - just good old fashioned bitterness and meanness start to end.

I burst out in a loud laugh when I read the following line:

"Don't ever try and touch me again, you fucking slut."

Jesus Christ that was humour.

Fast paced story, I really liked it, well done!

The way it ended was kind of abrupt. Seeing how he finally drove the cheating slut crazy and forced her to give up the kids and leave the state would have been the icing on the cake.

Not his best work but, still, not bad

Part of winning the battle is to not let the person who wronged you turn you into a vengeful sadistic bastard. I wouldn't want our "hero" anywhere near my kids. Ready to love again? You are joking, right?

Other that the fact that he is low life felon, the story is total nonsense.

1. First for violating court order, making threats, assault with a deadly weapon, and attempted murder, he certain would have been given hard time and for more than 1 year.

2. Furthermore, such a violent person would not be living in the house. That would go to the wife and children until after they were 18, 21, and/or out of college. It is unlikely such a low life violent felon would have visitation rights and, even if he was, she wouldn't allow it and the courts would no enforce it. And, there would be a restraining order not to come within 500 feet of the house.

3. There is no way, such a violent person would be getting his job back and he would be obligated to pay child for while he was in prison.

4. Since he is a know violent felon and violated court orders, there is no way the court would order her to return what was in the safe deposit box. You cannot disregard the court and expect not to be penalized. He would not have money to pay child support so his license would be revoked and he would be jailed for not paying all child support.

5. Finally, he would get life for murder. He had motive and had made threats. No matter how you say it, threats by any other name are threats. That is all it would take for conviction. Every day people are convicted on far less than that.

I like a story that has someone to root for. This wasn't it. Some previous poster suggested this was written to appeal to the 'scorch the earth' dickwads. a good guess.

When I divorced wifey because she was a cheating slut, I didn't try to kill her lover or threaten her, or burn down her house. In fact, I encouraged her to have her boyfriend move in with her. I couldn't think of a better way to fuck both of them. She turned into a drunk and he spent years with her until he ran screaming for the door.

Now that's revenge.

I liked the story but was a little disappointed in the ending. I am an unforgiving SOB and really wanted Kathy's butt nailed to the wall. Of course I also wanted Steve to move on with his life with the kids and have a new happy marriage to a great woman.

How else could he be so ignorant about the legal system? Being a convicted felon does not mean you lose your right to due process.

Wornock must be related to Hilary C. She hates married men who are willing to kick ass on wives and their lovers for cheating as well.

Iranian for "cuckold"

Nice line there -

It was a fun read - he clearly has anger and self control issues - heh

Wanting his kids back is the only simply sane thing he was doing - right until the end -

Great read - good personal perspective - the emotion actually came through a bit too -

... even though the ending was weak.

I believe you got tired writing the story and just ended it - poorly! The story had potential - perhaps you should have asked others to finish it.

I love this story but the ending was weak.. Please finish it

Tell us about how he got his kids back...

Good story. Pity you left it hanging in the air without finishing.

It's not even worthy of a period. You write really good stories, until the last page. And then you leave it in the bottom of the shitter. Or they ride off into the sunset, happily ever after.

You ALWAYS write a good story and give it a piss poor ending that really isn't an ending. Do you just get bored with your own stories and just end them?

The cold plate of revenge was lukewarm. The story was rushed at the end and it lacked punch. The man was robbed of his life by a cheating no good slut and a sleazy neighbor. Ellen killed the story the story was good til Ellen then went off a cliff to less than mundane. This story was a five star story til Ellen. Please rethink the end. This story is totally out of sync with your others that I have read. The revenge was a sham and major disappointment.

then his wusses out.

Both Steve and the story. But not quite. Finish the revenge on the wife THEN find another woman. And after Ellen threatened him, she'd be out the door and down the road so fast her head would spin. You sure don't need her. Way to controlling and domineering.

Finish this please!!!! Don't leave us hanging!!!!!

Did you get tired of working on the story and just ended it??? Again WTF???

finish the god dam story please

I don't get it. If the wife want to leave a marriage for another man, why does the husband feel entitled for revenge? Isn't she allowed to leave? He went to jail because he was making stupid death threats and reckless intimidations that nearly resulted in physical harm for the boyfriend, not because of anything the wife or the boyfriend did to him. She just wanted to leave with he assets. There is no cause for what the husband did, burning down the boyfriend's house, preventing assets separation, sicking a PI on the wife, further making death threats and rude insults. The stupid fuck is out of control. Guess what Slirpuff, in a relationship, parties are allowed to leave for any reason. It's not like joining the army where they can shoot you for desertion.

He only wrote the story you moron, does not mean he condones it. FFS its a story you didn't read it in the news.

The revenge element was implied but never confirmed by the author directly other than the arson. The husband had a mandate to seek revenge in my humble opinion. Perhaps it is a philosophy derived from environmental factors such as growing up in an urban environment and being a former gang member etcetera. Everyone has an opinion and they are perfectly entitled to it. I felt the author and I had agreement in our mutual philosophical viewpoints that made this story completely agreeable to me. Sometimes people need to step up and be accountable for their behavior and fully accept the consequences when they interfere with others lives and families. Taking another's spouse is serious stuff and you should be willing to accept the wrath if you dare to endeavour down that dangerous road. You sow what you reap and visaversa. Bob got exactly what he deserved to bad the wife didn't get what she deserved the skank whore bitch cunt slimeball.

You must be a woman or a willing cuckold. The revenge wasn't about the whore leaving. It was for the way it went down. She fucked his friend for 5 months. The friend he was there for when his wife died. And some how he ends up fucking up his friend's marriage. If the whore was leaving because he was a bad husband or she wasn't happy that's one thing. But this whore cheated with a back stabbing asshole that he was there for. The guy he helps get over the loss of wife, in turn steals his friends wife. The whore should have been hit by a car too.

What is up with you and finishing stories? It's like you get close to the end of the story and just say "fuck it" and finish it by starting something new that should have been mentioned earlier in the story. I just don't get you. Good story until the end. 4 stars.

finish this story.sucks the way it is

No ending. If you can't end a story, don't post. Hasn't posted in over a year, so maybe got the message.

So it was a good story until the end. Then he's hanging around with a woman that THREATENS him? Moving on is good. Moving on with Ellen is just plain stupid. Did his stay in jail make him nuts? Move on, be good and your kids will want to live with you soon. Stay away from the ex since she obviously makes you nuts. Stay away from Ellen because she IS nuts. Terrible ending.

The end sucked. Steve was on a roll. He had no reason to "move on"! He had tried marriage, he already had kids, why do it again? That is just stupid! Now, he was the master of his life, no bitch to slow him down. He could enjoy himself with his kids and torturing the selfish, evil people that had fucked him over.

Here is how to correct the plot: When the grand parents come over, Steve should have made it clear that everyone around Typhoid Kathy was going to die. He should have made it clear that they were on that list and that they should convince their whore daughter to give up the kids. Then, Kathy should have started having some close calls. When she finally showed up on Steve's door step he would have let her know that he wanted the kids because she and her family were so mentally disturbed. They clearly were not capable of making good decisions and old Bob could not even cross a street without getting hit by a car. It would be in her best interests to give up the kids so she could devote herself to getting some help.

Maybe FTDS can finish this story.....Push her over the edge.....let her rot....

FTDS

If I saw the ending I would've passed on this one. It really had potential but.

If I saw the ending I would've passed on this one. It really had potential but.

... to bad they had kids, I cant think of 2 people on this earth less deserving to procreate the species than these two. Talk about unlikable characters, Sirpuff outdid himself in creating total unlikable people (all of them). Too bad there was not some accident that took both of the main charactars out and left the kids to someone who actually gave a damn and could set an example worthy of the species. But no, they probably became 2 neurotic, hateful humans that found it impossible to trust anyone or to even be true to themselves....sad.

It always makes me glad to see him again and his stories are 100% the best. Please keep writing, you're one of the last few good authors on here!! IMO

She'd have NOTHING to do with what happened to him if he went back to jail. Nor could she violate his parole since he wasn't on it. His record was clear. No man, especially one with his issues would even CONSIDER dating his PO. Too many problems built into that relationship. So I found your ending trite. And he surely wasn't very clever where his ex-wife was concerned. Drive her slowly crazy? He needs a new plan. This whole mess wasn't very clever.

Such a good read.....until the worst possible ending destroyed an awesome story! I feel so cheated. This feels beneath your talents, like you cheated yourself more than your readers. A shame.

Not a bad story overall, but the ending was not flash, nope be truthful, it sucked. Jezz you made this Steve into a real bitter, twisted & revengeful bastard didn't you; he wasn't very likeable. However I can understand why he'd feel that way with such an unfeeling slut of a wife; don't know if I'd like to be one of his neighbours though. Certainly not your best work. 3 ***

FTDS is FinishTheDamnStory, an author who finishes what many readers feel are stories that were left too open-ended.

All we need is a short epiloge with the kids moving in with him and the ex becoming a lonely bitter shell.

The end appeared from nowhere....That's why just 3 *...

cause the ending sux

I know I couldn't do better,,that is why I don't profess to be a wanna be author

The end came too fast with too many lose ends left dangling. You got in one big hurry to wrap up this story.

George in Omaha