I Will Love You Forever Pt. 2 Ch. 18

"No Mai, what is wrong is that you lust after another woman's husband and do not deny it. I heard what you said about Shotaro and I agree with father- he is doing the right thing by putting his family first. Kenjiro Takeda didn't so that. He abandoned his family for his own happiness and he was wrong to do that."

"Would you be saying this if you didn't love Jiro?" Mai asked. "I concede that I should not be looking at Kenjiro Takeda as I have been, but the rest of it- taking away my choices is wrong!"

"So you seek to compound that wrongness by being disrespectful?" Ani asked. "I don't know what I would be saying or feeling if I didn't love Jiro but I do know that I would not be looking for ways to be with another woman's husband."

"That's not what I'm doing!" Mai retorted.

"Yes Mai, you are," Ani replied. "That may not be what you were thinking when you thought about it, but that is where this is going. Mai, you are going to get hurt not only from your family, but from him. He loves his wife! I saw it in the way that he touched her. Please, I am begging you! Do not bring dishonor on yourself and our family by pursuing him. Tomorrow at breakfast, apologize to father for your rudeness and ask his forgiveness and all will be well."

"Ani..."

"I am going to bed, Jiro is waiting; but Mai think about what you are doing. You have just insulted the man who has had nothing but our best interest at heart. You would not be here if not for his kindness."

"Is that what you call it?" Mai asked tearfully. "I call it control and manipulation! He says nothing until I want to do something not to his liking..."

"Mai, maybe he sees something in you that must be controlled," Ani said. "I have to admit that I agree with him. Without father's control as you call it, you would have already dishonored us. I am going to bed, but Mai; think about what we talked about."

Mai sat on the patio for a long time after Ani left. After she thought about it, she realized that she really had no options but to apologize to her father and to do as he asked for the time being at least. But as far as Kenji went, she didn't know. On one level, the intellectual level; she knew that she was wrong. On an emotional level, she wanted what Patricia, Ani and now the woman that Shotaro was in love with had. The fact that Patricia and Shotaro's woman weren't Japanese began to fade in importance. At that point it should have occurred to her to find someone attainable, but her mind was set on Kenji primarily because he was Japanese. He also had what Shotaro lacked: courage.

That had been almost three weeks ago. She had made her apologies and had been acted as the perfect and dutiful daughter. Whenever she was home, she worked on the plans for the wedding pretending to accept her responsibility. What she hoped and prayed for was that Shotaro would back out. Every time he called or wrote to her father, she hoped that it was to tell him that he wasn't coming back. It was now Christmas and that letter and phone call never came.

****

Kenji was pleased that Mai seemed to take his talk with her to heart although like Patricia, he didn't really believe that her feelings for him had changed. He even doubted if what she felt for him was really love, but it didn't matter; it had to be addressed. The good thing was that the gossip and bets about them had stopped. Kenji didn't know who or what the latest target was, and he didn't care as long as it didn't involve him.

He counted the days that he had left before he could go home for Christmas-one more shift. He had already gone Christmas shopping. The gifts were hidden in the trunk of the car. One of the gifts was a small diamond ring for Patricia. He knew that she would fuss about him spending the money, but he knew that Ralph would have wanted her to have it. He looked forward to the day when he could buy her a diamond with his own money. He knew that it didn't matter to her whether she had a diamond or not, but it mattered to him. For Niko he got a small chemistry set and for Marie a box of crayons that had every color imaginable in it, paints and a sketch pad.

In his suitcase were the floor plans of several homes. He knew that he was being premature, but in less than two years they could begin the search for their first home. He was thrilled with the knowledge that he would be able to support his family without the help of others. After they made love, he would show Patricia the floor plans and they would begin to plan out the rest of their lives.

The last shift passed slowly. It seemed as if everyone was taking a holiday from being sick. About one am, Dr. Vicente went to Kenji with good news.

"It's quiet here so there's no point to you staying until seven. Why don't you go home?"

Kenji didn't need to be told twice. After thanking Dr. Vincente, he took off at a run before anything happened that he had to stay. As he ran up the stairs, he wondered if he should call Patricia; but decided to surprise her. He quickly stripped the bed, packed his things and left the tin of cookies and small gift for Robert on the desk.

He grabbed his bags and ran down the stairs past the phones. He stopped rethinking whether he should call Patricia or not. He backed up, looked at the phone and decided to call.

"Kenji?" Patricia asked in a sleepy voice, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing Kirei," Kenji replied. "I am calling with good news. It is quiet here and Dr. Vicente is letting me leave early. I will see you shortly. And Kirei? Could you please put on the lavender gown?"

Mai, also having been released early, stood behind Kenji listening. Jealousy and anger raged through her as she listened to Kenji ask Patricia to wear a certain gown. It left no question as to what was going to happen when he got home. She moved away when she heard the usual "I love you, but this time it was spoken in Japanese.

By the time Mai reached her small room, she was crying at the unfairness of it all. Since it was late, she couldn't go home- not that she minded. She changed into her pajamas and tried to sleep. Sleep didn't come easily and she made a decision: she would write to Shotaro and beg him to deny her. He could say whatever he wanted for the reason including that she was a whore. It was now the only way out of the marriage and the only way that she could keep her financing for school. It was a gamble; her father could still disown her. It was that thought that made her hesitate. After a moment more, she made her decision.

She got up, turned on the lights and sat at the desk and wrote her letter.

"Dear Shotaro,

I know that you do not wish to discuss this, but please listen to reason. We do not care for each other and for us to marry will only be a constant reminder of that. I will never make you smile as the woman in your letter does. We will both live our lives in unhappiness and will come to hate each other. Why should we do that? Just to satisfy old traditions? What of any children that we would have? How is bringing them into a loveless home any better than you bringing a child of mixed heritage into the world? In time you will begin to see me as the one who kept you away from your one true love. Shotaro-please, I am begging you to back away from this marriage. You can give any reason that you like including that I have dishonored you. Our time grows short, so please either call or write to my father. I will find out from him whether the marriage is cancelled or not."

Thank you in advance,

Mai"

Mai quickly reread the letter and got it ready to mail. She redressed and left her room to mail the letter. If Shotaro agreed, her father would be angry; and she would be at his mercy; but it was a gamble that she was prepared to take. She didn't believe for one second that Ani and her cousin would turn their backs on her. With that in mind, she put the letter in the mailbox and went back to her room hoping that Shotaro would change his mind and cancel the wedding.

By the time she was undressed and back in her nightclothes, her mind was on Kenji and Patricia imagining what was going to happen in their bedroom. She wondered if Patricia had done what Kenji had asked of her and put on the lavender gown.

"Of course she did," Mai scoffed as she lay on the bed.

Suddenly her nightclothes seemed too confining. She tossed and turned trying to get comfortable and trying not to think about what Kenji looked like naked. Her body began to tingle in places that hadn't been touched since med school. That was her one dishonor. The man, another student had also been Japanese and their affair had been brief but intense. It ended when he was accepted as an intern somewhere in one of the southern states. For weeks after he left, Mai pleasured herself. Then there was the pregnancy scare. After that, she slept with no one else.

Her hand made its way to between her legs. She closed her eyes and imagined that the hands belonged to someone else. She knew just from Kenji's mannerisms that he would be a thoughtful and gentle lover. Patricia's name popped into her head, but she pushed it away. Her breathing quickened as a finger slipped between her vaginal lips. She moaned softly when she touched her hardened nub and began to rub it in tight little circles harder and faster until her hips raised off the bed and she was crying out her release. A few minutes later, she was sound asleep dreaming that she was free to marry whom she chose. In her dream, the one she chose was Kenji.