Junky Chronicles Ch. 04

Both women felt the emotional shift in their relationship and tried to pull closer to the other. They wanted to be as physically close as they were emotionally and with tangled limbs they fell asleep. Their minds, heart and souls finally at peace after what felt like a long and hard battle.

Megan looked down at the scene and felt her heart both break and rejoice at the love she saw between the women. Even here she still wished she could have been the one for Natalie but was happy to see that the tortured soul was finally finding peace. She rejoiced that Natalie had listened to her because it hurt even more to watch Natalie destroy herself.

Chapter Thirty Six March 2008

Natalie was lying on the green grass, her head resting just below the tombstone that read Megan Scott and a rose lay on her chest as she stared at the blue sky above.

"I wanna tell you a story," Natalie began and twirled the rose.

"So about a year ago I kissed Ashley, I know I have told you this before but I guess I want you to understand. I waited for the guilt and regret to come but it didn't. Those last few weeks of my rehabilitation turned out to be a lot more than I expected. The kiss was nothing like the first one I shared with you, it was spectacular in a different way. After the kiss your words kept running through my mind, you know, when you said that I was the one for you but you weren't for me and I came to the conclusion that the universe was fucked up. I believe what you said now and I think sometimes we take a little detour in our lives. Suddenly we meet this person who just reignites the flame inside us and they become enough for us, they're not our soul mates but they fill that empty spot. Then the universe decides that we can't continue living on just having enough and then that person gets taken away. During that period we meet our soul mates and they play an important role in our healing and we suddenly realize what's happening and take the chance..." Natalie was quiet for a moment, her thoughts running back to the time when she realized this.

"What I have with Ashley is nothing like what we had, we don't have the fireworks or the blazing heat. Instead we have this comfortable glow, don't get me wrong, we have enough passion to detonate a nuclear bomb, but nothing happened suddenly. There is this understanding and need we have with each other, a love that will last for the rest of our lives. I also learned that I can't compare one relationship to the other because you are two different people and the relationships are different. In the beginning I still found myself wishing it was you but that stopped when I realized what Ashley and I shared. Sometimes I wish people could write a book that tells you how to survive grief and loss, but each person is different. I don't know if I was supposed to feel guilty for moving on or if I was doing it right. It gets out of control when you start feeling guilty for not feeling guilty and then Kaz and Devon reminds me that you would've wanted me to move on and be happy. I want you to know that I am, happy that is. Back to the story, because of Ashley's past we didn't sleep together for a long time. It's hard for her to trust people and I don't blame her. When we finally slept together it was spectacular. Every time we make love it is different from you and I, but not lacking in any sense of the word..." Natalie fought the tears that started to spill and let herself feel the loss for a moment.

"The reason I am here though is because I need to tell you something really difficult. Ashley and I decided to move to Cape Town, we feel like that was the city that brought us together and offered both of us a second chance at life. Now this part is difficult, I'm going to ask her to marry me. I am sorry that I'm leaving you and I promise I will come visit every chance I get. The company Head Quarter is also moving, so Devon and Kaz will be coming with us. I guess this is really goodbye. It doesn't mean I stopped loving you but it's time for me to let go."

Natalie got up and dropped the rose onto the grave, she wiped her tears and whispered her last confessions of love to Megan before walking out of the cemetery gates and driving to her old house where everything was packed into boxes. She walked into the room she once shared with Megan and walked through the almost empty space.

Natalie had only kept a few of Megan's belongings and she walked into the closet where Megan had kept everything. She remembered how she broke down in this small space and spent hours with Devon searching for the scrapbook that Megan had made. Her hands ran along the shelves as she remembered how much time Megan had spent in there getting ready for their evenings out. Natalie's hand bumped against something and she stood on her tiptoes to see what it was.

She pulled the large book down and cried when she realized that it was the scrapbook that Megan had talked about. Settling against the wall she started opening the book and cried harder when she saw the picture of them all in the pool on the day they had met. One of the best days of my life, the day I met you, was inscribed below the picture. She paged through the book and sobbed when she saw all of the happiness that they had shared and suddenly she realized that she couldn't leave. If she left here she would be away from the last bit she had left of Megan and Logan.

Devon looked at the figure sitting against the wall and felt his own tears sting his when he realized what Natalie had found, "you found it."

"I can't leave Dev. If I leave I leave them behind and I can't do that."

"You'll never leave them behind, Nat. They're in your heart, your soul and your memories. Megan would have wanted this for you and in truth, we all want this for you. You're happy again and you're sharing something beautiful with Ashley, something that inspires the greatest love stories. You and Megan had something similar, but with Ashley there is that something extra. Don't sacrifice that for haunted memories, Nat."

She looked at her friend and smiled at him, he was right and she knew it but this was difficult. This was like skinning her alive and leaving her to feel the burn of the muscles where the skin was torn from. Then she remembered how Ashley feels in her arms and it was like putting ice on her burning flesh and soothing the wounds.

"I love her, Dev. I went to see Megan today and I told her everything. This has been the hardest thing for me, I lost my one love and I am so afraid of losing Ashley too. I am going to ask Ashley to marry me when we get back in Cape Town," Natalie rested her head against the large shoulder and felt the jerk of the body.

"Are you serious? Oh my God, that is the best news I have heard in a very long time!" the large man jumped to his feet and pulled Natalie into a bone crushing hug.

"It's time to make some new memories," Natalie said into the broad chest.

"Can I donate the sperm again? I really want to help you guys have kids."

"Whoa, let's just see if she will marry me first before we start planning a family," Natalie said with a laugh and looked at the scrapbook in her hands.

I hope you're happy for me Megan. I don't want to leave you but I need to be able have a life again, baby girl. What we shared was special and you will be immortal in my memory.

**********

They parked in front of their new house, the same one where Natalie had come for rehabilitation and she and Ashley found each other. They looked at the large structure and slowly got of the car, Devon, Dani, Kaz, Ben and little Jada stood behind them. Natalie picked Ashley up and walked toward the door with a giggling woman in her arms. This moment was important and Natalie wanted to carry Ashley over the threshold of their new home and their new lives.

The others followed close behind and looked at the fully furnished house, the walls already held their pictures and the memories they had created. Natalie put Ashley down and looked into the blue eyes, they were standing in the middle of their new beginning and Natalie realized there would never be a better time than now. Everyone that she cared about was here and she was about to start a new life with the woman she loved.

She got onto one knee and fished the ring from her pocket, she looked into the face of her lover and held the tiny jewellery box in her hand, "I know this is not the most romantic way but this is the perfect time. Ashley, you have healed me in so many ways and I love you with a fierce intensity. Will you marry me?"

Natalie opened the box and revealed a simple platinum ring with a large blue diamond. Ashley kneeled in front of Natalie and kissed her, mumbling "yes," over and over again. The rest of the group rejoiced and cried when Natalie slid the ring onto the slender finger.

"Okay, she said yes, so can I be the sperm donor again?" Devon asked.

Ashley pulled away and looked at him, she laughed and cry when she saw the complete acceptance in the faces of the people she had adopted as her family, "I don't think that would be a problem. As long as it's in a cup and you waited until we got married and settled down."

Natalie laughed when Devon did a fist pump and held the woman she loved in her arms. Suddenly her world felt whole again and she was looking forward to the future and finally being able to grab everything she had ever dreamed about. Everyone moved in a circle around the happy couple and hugged them tight.

Life had changed in the past year for all of the friends, Kaz and Ben had a beautiful baby girl, Devon and Dani got married and was expecting their first kid and now Natalie and Ashley was finally starting their lives together. Kaz looked at her friends and realized that they could all finally have their happily ever after's.

Chapter Thirty Seven November 2008

It was a warm sunny day in Cape Town and the house was bustling with guests from all over the country. Some of Ashley's colleagues bustled about and her elderly grandmother was on the lawn in her wheelchair looking over the ocean, a smile on her wrinkled face.

"Are you okay, ma?" Ashley asked and stood beside the woman.

"After everything that life has thrown at us, at you, you're finally taking that leap and finding true happiness. It makes me so happy to be here today and watch you get married. Your mother and grandfather would have been proud to see you today. I am so happy," the woman said in a trembling voice.

"You and grandpa saved me. Natalie helped me put all of the pieces together and I never thought I would experience true happiness after Jean but Natalie showed me that I could."

The two women went inside and Ashley wheeled her grandmother to the room where she was to get dressed. Kaz and Dani helped her get into her dress and all the women smiled when they saw the beauty of the blonde woman. Her white dress was simple and strapless, it hugged her body and flowed easily around her curves. The blonde hair was done up and her blue eyes sparkled, revealing the happiness she felt.

Natalie stood on the beach, away from the aisle and altar where they were to say their vows. She looked across the ocean and smiled, her hands in her pockets.

"Well, Megan, this is it. I am finally letting go and moving forward. Ashley and I are going to start a family after we get married and I am going to live the life that I had always dreamed of. With this day drawing nearer I kept thinking about you and I wonder what if you were both still alive. But mostly I wonder I wonder what I would have done if had gotten a second chance at life. Would I have saved you or have everything play out as it did? I can't find an answer and I realized that there isn't one. I would never be able to choose between you two because what I have and had with each one of you is special and spectacular in different ways. But I decided to focus on what I have right now and Megan, I have found happiness and if I am to embrace it fully I have to let go of you. I will always remember you but right now I need to take my heart back because there is a woman who is going to walk down that aisle to me and promise her life to me. She has given her whole heart to me and today when I say 'I do', I am going to do the same. Thank you for the life you spent with me and I will always love you but I need to let your ghost rest."

The chairs that were set out on the beach started filling up and Devon walked to Natalie, "are you ready?"

"I am more than ready. I am going to give her my whole heart today and I am going to give her the life she deserves, Dev. Let's go get married!"

Natalie stood beside the attorney they had asked to marry them, her black suit immaculate and her black shirt crisp. She wore a green tie and was barefoot, they had agreed that everyone would be barefoot at their wedding and she smiled at the few guests that were gathered there. They had agreed to only invite the people who mattered to them and keep the ceremony small. Devon stood beside Natalie, dressed similarly to her and Ben stood beside Devon.

Ashley had decided to invite Jean, feeling the need to finally close that chapter of her life. Jean sat in the middle and felt her heart break at the thought of Ashley marrying someone else. Chad and their two daughters sat beside her and she found herself wondering for the millionth time what would have been if she had stayed with Ashley. She heard the wedding march and rose with the other guests, her breath caught in her throat when she saw the raw beauty of Ashley in her wedding dress.

Ashley followed behind Jada who threw rose petals in the aisle they walked down and Dani and Kaz followed the bride. They wore green dress and Jada wore the same. Ashley reached her grandmother and hugged her.

"Who gives away this woman?" the attorney asked.

"I do, with the all the happiness and love in the world," the elderly woman said in a choked up voice.

Natalie kissed the woman's cheek and took Ashley's hand, they stood in front of the attorney as he spoke about love. They had each agreed to write own vows and before they started Duncan walked down the aisle with the rings. He stood in front of them and waited patiently as the women spoke.

"Natalie, the way we met was anything but conventional and yet we somehow made it through. We were two broken souls and you had help me heal and I discovered that there was a strong, passionate and unconditional love. I found that love with you and I stand here today, promising my life, my love, my soul and my whole heart to you, for the rest of my life," she slipped the silver band around Natalie's finger.

"Ashley, I have said this to you before, but you once cracked my chest open to get my heart to beat again and repair the damage. That day and two other times, you saved my life and continued fighting to keep me alive. Then one day, on this very beach you cracked my chest open again and repaired my heart emotionally. I still carry the scars from the first time, but you have made that heal too. Today I vow to give you my whole heart and I promise to always make you happy and give you the life you deserve, forever," Natalie slipped a similar band onto Ashley's finger.

Duncan walked to his dad and the two women kissed, "I now pronounce you, life partners."

Tears spilled over cheeks as Natalie led Ashley toward the house where they're reception was going to be. Everyone danced and made toasts, then Jean approached Ashley and asked her to dance.

"You seem happy," Jean said against the blonde head.

"I am, Jean. I truly am. I found someone who loves me unconditionally and wants to be with me. It's funny, I never thought I would ever be happy again after you but now I am happier than I ever imagined possible."

"I still love you, Ashley and I wish every day that I didn't do what I did. Don't get me wrong, I love Chad and my girls, but I find myself wishing that it was you I shared it with."

"Stop wishing for that, Jean. I stopped and the only thing I will ever wish for, is that I can make Natalie as happy as she made me. I am over you Jean and you decided that for us, so maybe you need to decide to let go."

The song ended and Ashley walked to her wife. They shared a long kiss and then Devon came up to them, "we have to leave if you're going to make your flight."

They said their rounds of goodbyes and headed for the airport.

*********

The plane landed in Mauritius and a car took them to their bungalow on the beach. The driver carried their luggage inside and once he was in the car again Natalie carried Ashley over the threshold of another major step in their lives. Natalie lay her bride down on the bed and they started a slow love making, touching and kissing every inch of skin they could reach.

Ashley had thought long and hard as to what she could give Natalie on their wedding night. She came up with the perfect gift but it scared her because this meant a new level of trust for her. Her head was resting on Natalie's chest when she looked at her wife and lover.

"I want to give you something truly special to me," Ashley whispered.

Natalie looked at Ashley with confusion when she got up, her eyes following the naked form as she looked for something in her bag.

"With everything that happened to me, the rape and molestation, my virginity was taken without me having given it. That also left me with deep rooted problems and tonight I want to offer you something that I physically don't have but emotionally it is still there. With that gift I will also be giving you my ultimate trust," Ashley crawled up Natalie's body.

She showed her the strap-on she had purchased and asked the silent question. Natalie started crying, firstly for the memories this invoked in her and secondly for the trust that her wife was placing in her. This was also a request from Ashley to help her overcome the last of the demons that plagued her. Natalie accepted the gift and stepped into the straps, adjusting them to her body.

She crawled between her lover's legs, "are you sure?"

"Yes, just be gentle," Ashley said and fought the fear that was once again beneath the surface.

She felt the head of the phallus at her entrance and swallowed hard in attempt to fight the fear. Natalie pushed her hips forward gently, letting the phallus slowly enter her lover. Her eyes were on her lover, trying to gauge her reactions and determining whether Ashley was okay. When she had fully entered her lover she stopped and looked at the beautiful, sweaty face and kissed the soft lips.

"You okay?" she whispered.

"Hmm, you feel good inside me. Just give me a moment," Ashley said and fought down the demon that was trying to take over.

Natalie kissed her wife, her lips mashing against the soft ones and her hands running over the smooth skin. She was more than willing to give her lover all the time she needed. They kissed for long minutes before Ashley slowly started moving her hips and signalled Natalie that she was fine to continue. Their bodies moved together slowly, both getting used to the new sensations and the bond that they shared. Ashley arched her back and revelled in the full feeling and the large phallus moving and out of her. Her orgasm built slowly, going higher as she fought down each bit of fear that tried to grip her.

Natalie moved slowly and lovingly, letting her lover know that this wasn't about violence but love and sharing something completely intimate. Ashley's fingers dug into Natalie's back and hips bucked faster and harder against her lover. The sensations became intense and she as she neared her orgasm. Perspiration covered their bodies as they moved together and then Ashley back arched and a loud moan escaped her lips as she experienced her first orgasm during penetration. Her legs locked around Natalie's back and she kept her inside.